Work Humor

[TexasStooge]

The Downside of Working in a Cube

* Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the darn box all day!

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.

* That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

* Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

* When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

* If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."

* If your boss calls you and aske you to come into his office for a minute the walk there is like a funeral march... people hand you tissues as you pass and refuse to make eye contact.

* You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone.

[TexasStooge]

Work. A Retrospective...

* A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

* Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

* When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

* Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

* To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

* There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

* If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

* The longer the title, the less important the job.

* Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.