Letter from Santa Claus

[angelwing]

Letter from Santa Claus:

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately
....... I will no longer serve the States of Georgia,
Florida, Alabama, North and South Carolina, Tennessee,
Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the
Earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American
Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and
Better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and
Cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in
Good hands with your local replacement, who happens to
Be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He
Shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys
And girls; however, there are a few differences
Between us.

Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your
Presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his
Sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys
Insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers
That children leave an RC cola and pork rinds on the
Fireplace.
3. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and
Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll
Hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and
Petty."
4. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you
Also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I
Her'd dat"
5. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus'
Sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the
Back with the words "Back Off."
6. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle
On 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not
Be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead,
You'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and
The Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus
And dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each
Other.
And Finally,
7. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
Make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other
Way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.



Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus

[DaylilyDawn]

"Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
Make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other
Way when he bends over to put presents under the tree"

Bubba Claus must be a plumber.