* Online Housekeepers instructs you to attach vacuum cleaner and mop to your computer's USB port.
* Keeps looking nervously at the TV and asking if you're planning to watch America's Most Wanted.
* First question: "Do you fold your towels before you put them away?"
* She's great with the food budget -- but the hamsters are missing and last night's burgers tasted a bit funky.
* "I'm sorry, but due to a recent federal ruling, I don't do Windows."
* When confronted about nothing being cleaned, insists that "Scrubbing Bubbles does the work so I don't have too."
You Know You Need a New Housekeeper When...
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