The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Woman accused of beating boyfriend with his wooden leg

MIDLAND, Mich. (Court TV) - Although Greg Gale attempted to escape his girlfriend's fury on two legs, he was hindered by a third.

The woman, Tammy Johnson, attacked Gale with one of his two prosthetic legs during a domestic dispute on August 3.

The couple was drinking beer in Gale's living room when they began to argue about an incident that occurred four years ago, according to Capt. John Oswald of the Midland Police Department in Michigan.

Johnson allegedly grabbed Gale's older wooden prosthetic and struck him several times around the head. Gale who was wearing the second leg, a titanium model, retreated towards the front yard while Johnson pursued and continued to hit him.

The woman left the scene with the leg after Gale fell in the front yard and yelled for help. A witness riding by on a bike contacted police. Although Gale was bleeding, he did not require medical attention, Oswald said.

Johnson was arrested and charged with larceny and assault with a dangerous weapon. Gale's wooden leg has yet to be recovered.

[TexasStooge]

Drug dealer busted after mailing teddy bear stuffed with marijuana

ROHNERT PARK, Calif. (Court TV/AP) — The owner of an overnight mailing business grew suspicious of a customer who sent a package to different addresses in Wisconsin every two weeks. His hunch was right.

A quick inspection of the customer's latest package revealed an unusually heavy teddy bear with a crude stitch on the back, so the businessman called police.

Investigators opened the bear, unrolled 30 feet of cellophane and found a heat-sealed plastic bag at the center of the teddy filled with roughly a pound of marijuana.

Gilberto Perez Pereira, 43, and Susan Janette Roark, 48, were arrested after an investigation, Rohnert Park police said Monday.

Pereira told police that he was sending the packages for a friend and that he didn't know what was inside the boxes.

Pereira allegedly provided a fake name to the mailing business, but police said he was easily tracked because he repeatedly called the business to ask why his package hadn't been mailed.

Pereira was being held on a $25,000 bail for possession of methamphetamine, possession of drug paraphernalia, shipment of drugs over state lines, and other charges, police said.

[TexasStooge]

Getaway stalls after gasoline bandits steal wrong kind of fuel

NAPPANEE, Ind. (Court TV/AP) — The high cost of gasoline may have driven them to it, but picking the wrong fuel pump cut short their getaway.

Two men who tried to steal gasoline from a construction company instead filled the tank of their car with off-road-grade diesel fuel Sunday, police said.

An employee of Beer & Slabaugh spotted the men on the company property near Nappanee, about 20 miles southeast of South Bend, as they were siphoning fuel out of a car's tank, Elkhart County deputies said.

The two told the employee that a friend had put the wrong fuel into the tank and they were trying to empty it, authorities said. The employee noticed that the fuel was the distinctive red color of off-road diesel.

He called deputies, who arrested McKinley Chase, 21, and Dajuan L. Lord, 19, both of Gary, on preliminary charges of felony. They acknowledged the theft by explaining their mistake and saying their car would not run.

Lord remained in the Elkhart County Jail on Tuesday. Chase was released on bond, a jail spokeswoman said.

[TexasStooge]

Car Thief Suspect Asks Victim for Help

FORT SMITH, Ark. (AP) - Police say a man who broke into a car severed his left wrist on some shards of glass, then kicked in a door to the car owner's home and asked for help.

Avis Pilcher, 78, called police to aid Joseph G. McQuade, 29, of Huntington, who initially said he had cut himself while being chased. Police later discovered blood in Pilcher's garage, presumed McQuade cut himself while breaking into the woman's car, and arrested McQuade.

Pilcher said she awakened to screams for help about 12:35 a.m. Monday and that McQuade entered her room, blood shooting from his left wrist, a police report said.

McQuade was arrested on suspicion of burglary, breaking and entering a vehicle, breaking and entering an unoccupied structure and on other warrants. McQuade was taken to the hospital for treatment of his injuries.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Charged With Kidnapping Lawn Boys

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. (AP) - A woman faces two counts of kidnapping after allegedly paying two boys for a lawn job with a fake $50 bill, then holding them hostage when they caught on.

Tracy Lynn Clinton, 39, remained in the Eastern Regional Jail on Wednesday, where she has been held on $12,500 bail since her arrest Monday. Police say she has no known address.

Martinsburg Patrolman E.C. Neely said Wednesday the victims were two slightly built boys, ages 12 and 13, who told investigators they were terrorized by Clinton. She allegedly screamed at them, threatened physical violence and exhibited bizarre behavior that included publicly urinating on a fence.

The boys told police they had been cutting lawns around Martinsburg when they saw Clinton sitting on a porch. She offered to pay $30 but said she needed change for what turned out to be a fake $50 bill.

The boys did the job, but questioned the currency. Clinton allegedly talked them into going with her to another location, then made them wait for more than an hour and threatened to harm them if they tried to leave.

Neely said Clinton punched one child in the back when he finally ran away, but neither boy was seriously injured.

If convicted, Clinton could get life in prison on the kidnapping charges and as much as a year in prison on the counterfeit bill charge.

She also faces two counts of failing to appear in court for unrelated incidents.
___

Information from: The Journal

[TexasStooge]

Drug Suspect Found Asleep in Woman's Bed

ARNOLD, Pa. (AP) - The bed may have felt just right, but police say the way a drug suspect got there was all wrong. Police charged Ernest Demar Boyd, 32, with breaking into a woman's house and falling asleep in her bed.

Authorities also said they found Boyd with a white powder and 17 white rocks, which they said are drugs — or a substance meant to look like crack cocaine.

"What is that? It looks like soap to me," Boyd said after police found the rocks in his pants pocket, along with some cash, according to a criminal complaint.

Boyd was charged with possession with intent to deliver crack cocaine, drug possession, distribution of a counterfeit drug, receiving stolen property and robbery.

Police charged Boyd with robbery because they said he took $20 from the woman when she tried to wake him up early Wednesday. Boyd told the woman to leave him alone, so she called police.

It was not immediately clear if Boyd had an attorney.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Allegedly Attacks Tree Trimmers

FREMONT, Calif. (AP) - A woman incensed at utility tree trimmers was arrested after allegedly chasing workers with a chain saw and twisting the fingers of an arresting officer, police said.

Diane Kaiser, 57, was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon, theft and resisting arrest. She posted bail and was released.

"The woman apparently has had some issues with PG&E," Fremont police Sgt. Jeff Swadener said. "She likes her trees."

Four tree trimmers contracted with Pacific Gas & Electric knocked on Kaiser's door Tuesday, called into the house and heard no answer. When workers walked to the back of the house, Kaiser allegedly ran from the home cursing and screaming.

She then picked up rocks and began throwing them at the workers, according to police reports.

Kaiser then allegedly picked up a tree trimmer's chain saw and pointed it at the workers, causing three to flee and call police. A fourth worker climbed a tree to escape.

Kaiser could not be immediately reached by phone Thursday for comment.

The trimmers told police that Kaiser had been notified June 21 that they would be removing tree branches around power lines near her home.

[TexasStooge]

Nev. Intruder Demands Food at Gunpoint

SPARKS, Nev. (AP) - Police have arrested a man they say terrorized a woman and her family when he appeared at the back door, pointed a gun at her and demanded food.

Daniel Peter Jeppsen was arrested Thursday on charges of kidnapping, robbery and assault with a deadly weapon, burglary, drug and weapons charges.

The 56-year-old woman told police she heard banging in her backyard. When she looked out she saw Jeppsen, who pointed the gun at her.

He demanded food, and eventually put the gun in his pocket as he ate, police said.

Investigators said he then ordered her to leave the house with him, then changed his mind and they went back inside.

The woman's husband and 13-year-old granddaughter initially were unaware Jeppsen was in the house until they encountered him in the living room.

The granddaughter eventually able to leave and called police.

Jeppsen, who has no known address, was under the influence of drugs and had illegal drugs in his possession, police said. He was jailed on $128,000 bail.

[TexasStooge]

Man charged with using fake $100 bills

LAFAYETTE, Ind. (Court TV) - It's all about the Abrahams. Wait, shouldn't that be "Benjamins"?

According to authorities, Earl Devine's $100 bills were printed with Abraham Lincoln's face, instead of Benjamin Franklin's.

Despite this visual error, Devine's funny money fooled several establishments around Lafayette, Ind., with one exception.

According to the newspaper The Journal & Courier, an eagle-eyed bartender who received a $100 bill from the 22-year-old man immediately became suspicious of the note's look and texture and contacted police. Devine fled the scene but was apprehended shortly thereafter.

Detectives called the bills "excellent fakes" in spite of other errors, such as red and blue dots that suggested the bill was printed from an inkjet printer, the report said. Several other businesses in town and neighboring West Lafayette later reported receiving fake money.

Officers found more fake bills in Devine's wallet at the time of his arrest, but they have not determined if he made the notes or purchased them from another source.

Devine was charged with forgery on July 31.

[TexasStooge]

Man Calls 911 About Booze, Leads Chase

COON RAPIDS, Iowa (AP) - A man who police say pointed a gun at police before leading officers on a chase was arrested. Gary Michael Ritchie, 53, of Coon Rapids, fled from police after he called 911 at least four times about a problem he was having with neighbors, police said.

Ritchie was drinking at a neighbor's house Saturday night when he become unruly and was asked to leave, police said.

He later called 911 asking police to help him retrieve a bottle of pure-grain alcohol he left at the neighbor's, police said.

Police Chief Joel Roetman went to the neighbor's and then to Ritchie's, where Ritchie pointed a gun at Roetman, court records show.

Ritchie then drove off, leading police on a chase that ended when county deputies placed stop sticks on the road, flattening the tires on Roetman's car south of Scranton, records show.

Police say Ritchie led them on a foot chase into a cornfield, where officers were unable to find him.

Ritchie was arrested at his home on Sunday.

He was charged with assault on a peace officer, going armed with intent and eluding officers.

He was being held Tuesday in the Carroll County jail under $29,250.
___

Information from: Daily Times Herald

[TexasStooge]

Man in Swimming Trunks Accused of Spree

COLUMBIA, Ky. (AP) - A man clad only in swimming trunks and wielding a baseball bat went on a vandalism spree at the home of his estranged wife and her former husband, then smashed his pickup truck through the back doors of the Adair County Courthouse, authorities said.

Ronald Graham Webb of Columbia faced multiple charges from the Saturday night spree, including driving under the influence, criminal mischief, burglary and driving without insurance.

He made an initial court appearance Monday, pleading not guilty to the charges. A preliminary hearing was set for Aug. 31, a public defender was appointed to represent him and a $25,000 cash bond was set. Webb was being held in the Adair County jail.

A Breathalyzer measured Webb's blood alcohol level at 0.19, well above the legal limit of 0.08, said Kentucky State Police Trooper Martin Wesley.

Webb, using an aluminum bat, allegedly struck three vehicles in the driveway at the home of Steve Franklin, the ex-husband of Webb's estranged wife. Webb's wife, Marsha, moved into the home after she separated from Webb this month and filed for divorce.

Webb also allegedly broke into the house, leaving damage estimated at $25,000, Wesley said. Among the items severely damaged were two televisions, two computers, an air conditioning unit, three fans, 10 mirrors, two compact disc players, five doors and several walls. He also allegedly shattered a toilet.

The family had been away at the Kentucky State Fair.

Wesley said that Webb then drove through the courthouse doors shortly after 9:30 p.m. CDT Saturday. The courthouse was closed at the time, and no one was injured.
___

Information from: Lexington Herald-Leader

[TexasStooge]

Tellers spook would-be holdup man

ARLINGTON, Texas (WFAA ABC 8) - Arlington Police were investigating an attempted bank robbery Thursday morning.

Two tellers at Frost Bank on the corner of Lamar Blvd. And Ballpark Way were arriving for work at 7:30 a.m. when they saw a masked man hiding behind some shrubbery.

Witnesses told police the man was carrying a shotgun.

When the tellers screamed, the man apparently was frightened and ran away without taking any money.

No one was hurt.

Police said they were still searching for the suspect, who would be charged with attempted bank robbery if apprehended.

[TexasStooge]

420-Pound Man Again Accused of Beer Heist

POCATELLO, Idaho (AP) - A 420-pound Fort Hall man has been charged with felony robbery, accused of stealing beer from the same local store he stole from in January.

Levi Timbana, 23, is accused of walking into the Cowboy Oil store on Aug. 9 and taking a swing at a clerk who refused to sell him beer after hours. Prosecutors say the clerk held Timbana at bay with a metal pipe until police arrived; Timbana's companion allegedly fled with two cases of beer.

Police said Timbana punched a different clerk at the store during a January beer heist. He spent 43 days in jail in that case.

If convicted of felony robbery, Timbana could be sentenced to a maximum of life in prison. He remains in the Bannock County Jail in lieu of $70,000 bond. Arraignment in District Court is set for Monday.

[TexasStooge]

Postal Worker Charged in Coffee Urine Case

AKRON, Ohio (AP) - A postal worker has been charged with putting urine in the coffee of co-workers who set up a video camera in their break room after they became suspicious, authorities said.

Thomas Shaheen, 49, of suburban Springfield Township, who works as a vehicle mechanic for the U.S. Postal Service, was charged Aug. 5 with two misdemeanor counts of adulteration of food or placing harmful objects in food.

He was ordered to appear in Akron Municipal Court on Monday.

Prosecutors said workers believed Shaheen poured urine into a coffee pot in a break room on July 5 and again July 6. Suspecting a problem, workers started their own investigation.

"Employees did put a video camera in, and that's how they were able to put a stop to what he was doing," Akron Prosecutor Douglas Powley said.

Powley said Shaheen was unhappy at work but the prosecutor declined to get into any further details.

None of Shaheen's co-workers was physically harmed.

Shaheen could not be reached for comment. Repeated calls to his home went unanswered Thursday. A message was left for his attorney, Paul F. Adamson.

Shaheen has been a postal employee for 11 years, said David Van Allen, a postal service spokesman.

[TexasStooge]

Man Nabbed at Wal-Mart for Handcuff Prank

CONWAY, N.H. (AP) - They say you can get just about anything at Wal-Mart, including arrested. Police say employees at a Wal-Mart called to report a young man was in the store on Tuesday in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs, asking for a hacksaw.

It turns out Joha Turner, 18, of Pittsburg, hadn't escaped from anywhere. He told police it was a prank. They told him he was under arrest, for disorderly conduct.

[TexasStooge]

Man threatens to castrate ice-cream vendor

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. (Court TV) - Perhaps a Good Humor bar would have improved Matthew Flynn's mood.

Police in West Hartford, Conn., arrested the 46-year-old man on August 21 after he threatened to castrate an ice cream truck driver.

According to Sgt. Jeff Rose of the West Hartford Police Department, the truck was making its way through a residential street when Flynn suddenly ran out of his house and planted himself in front of the slow-moving vehicle. Flynn was allegedly holding a pair of hedge clippers that he waved at the 17-year-old driver. He ordered the driver to turn off the truck's jingle and to leave the area.

"The truck was playing 'It's a Small World,'" Rose said. "[Flynn] later told us he hates ice cream truck music."

As the driver drove away, Flynn ran alongside the truck and made cutting motions with his hedge clippers.

"He pushed the clippers into the driver's face and asked, 'Do you want to have your dick cut off?'" Rose said.

The terrified driver called police from a nearby gas station and filed a complaint. Flynn was arrested and charged with threatening and breach of peace. He was released on $500 bond.

[TexasStooge]

Car thief calls to have his cellphone returned

ST. JOHN COUNTY, Fla. (Court TV) - A car robber who left his cellphone at the crime scene called back to arrange for the device's return — and his arrest.

Kevin Kelshaw, a spokesperson for the St. John County Sheriff's Office in Florida, said a woman mowing her lawn observed a car parked next to her vehicle on the afternoon of August 17. When she approached the car, its occupants, Lonnie Eugene Stout and an accomplice, told her that they were in the area mowing lawns.

The pair then drove away and the woman noticed that one of her car doors was open. Several personal items had been ransacked and there was an unidentified cellphone on the seat.

The phone rang later as deputies investigated the crime scene. A deputy picked up the call and discovered that the phone's owner and alleged car thief, Stout, was on the other end.

The deputy identified himself as a law enforcement officer and made arrangements for Stout to retrieve the phone. According to Kelshaw, it was unclear if Stout realized that he had dropped the phone at the crime scene.

Stout met the deputy at an arranged location at about 4:30 p.m. Also present at the meeting was the car owner, who identified Stout as the man she saw near her car.

The 19-year-old car suspect was questioned and then arrested after deputies found a stereo in his possession that had been reported stolen in Tampa Bay.

Stout was charged with breaking and entering, burglary to a conveyance and dealing in stolen property. He was released the next day on $5000 bond.

[TexasStooge]

Naked boater strikes twice

PORT TOWNSEND, Wash. (Court TV) - Where there's water and an audience, Lynn Mowry seems to enjoy getting naked.

The Washington man is facing charges of indecent exposure following two separate incidents in which he appeared without clothes on his boat.

According to the newspaper The Peninsula Daily News, the first incident occurred on August 16 when the crew of a U.S. Coast Guard helicopter spotted a boat that appeared to be on fire in the Sequim Bay. When the helicopter flew closer to the vessel, the crew members saw a naked man on the boat, waving flares and making obscene gestures at them.

A Coast Guard report boat arrived at the scene and Mowry, 52, was taken away and turned over to local authorities.

Two days later, officers from the Port Townsend Police Department and the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office responded to complaints of a man on a boat exposing himself to concertgoers at the local dock.

Sgt. Jeff Kaare of the Port Townsend Police Department said witnesses reported that Mowry had been navigating his boat erratically around the waterfront area when he suddenly stopped to disrobe and exposed himself to people.

When the Sheriff's marine unit arrived at the scene, Mowry led them on a short pursuit across the waters. He allegedly rammed into one of the boats before he was apprehended. According to Sgt. Kaare, the naked boater appeared intoxicated.

Mowry was charged with attempting to elude an officer, assault in the third degree, boating under the influence and indecent exposure. He is currently being held at the Jefferson County jail.

[TexasStooge]

Handcuffed Woman Shoots Officer's Gun

EVANSVILLE, Ind. (AP) - A handcuffed woman on her way to jail in the back of a police car grabbed an officer's gun and managed to fire one bullet into the floorboard of the car, police said.

Neither the officer nor the woman was injured, police said.

Evansville Patrolman Wayne Hunt said he struggled with the female prisoner trying to take his gun Monday night. He stopped the car before the woman got her fingers under the gun's trigger guard. It fired right through his holster, Hunt said.

The bullet missed Hunt and passed through the car's floorboard, ricocheting underneath. Hunt said he hit the suspect until she let go of the gun, still holstered.

"I hate to think what could have happened. If she had gotten it out, she probably would have shot me," Hunt said.

Hunt earlier on Monday spotted a truck parked in an out-of-the-way area with a couple inside, and he suspected prostitution. He found that the woman in the car, Falisha S. McFarland, 24, was wanted on a warrant for failing to appear in court at a sentencing on cocaine charge.

Hunt arrested her and was driving her to the Vanderburgh County Jail when he noticed the slender, limber prisoner had unbuckled herself. She scooted around and reached over the police console to try to unholster the gun on his right side, he said.

After the gun discharged and she released the weapon, Hunt said he got the struggling, kicking prisoner out of the car and called for backup officers to take her to jail where she was being held early Wednesday on $12,500 bond.

"My wife was upset. She was relieved that nothing happened," Hunt said.

McFarland later said she didn't want to harm Hunt "but just wanted to see her children one more time before she went to jail," a police affidavit said.

McFarland was to receive 18 months' probation for cocaine possession during the sentencing she skipped, but because of Monday's incident, that deal is off, Vanderburgh County Deputy Prosecutor Tim Fox said.

McFarland faces a new felony charge of attempted battery with a deadly weapon.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Allegedly Smuggles Fish in Cream Jar

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) - A 50-year-old woman has been charged with a quarantine offense for allegedly smuggling three tiny fish in a face cream jar into Australia from Taiwan, a government official said Thursday.

The woman, an Australian resident of Taiwanese descent, faces a maximum prison term of 10 years and a 110,000 Australian dollar ($82,889) fine on a charge for smuggling wildlife — juvenile fish each less than half an inch long, Australian Quarantine and Inspection Service spokesman Carson Creagh said.

"It does mystify us why she would bring such tiny fish in such a strange way," Creagh said.

Airport officials found the live fish in a cold cream jar filled with water in the woman's luggage when she arrived at Brisbane International Airport on Australia's east coast Tuesday.

The fish had not yet been identified, Creagh said. They will eventually be destroyed.

The woman was also carrying aquarium weed, leading officials to suspect she wanted to keep the fish as pets.

The woman's name has not been released and she has yet to appear in court on the charge.

"Quarantine officers couldn't be certain they were free from diseases or parasites that could have devastated our native wildlife," Creagh said.