The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Cornered Thief Escapes in Police Car

SOFIA, Bulgaria (AP) - A car thief cornered by police after a high-speed chase through the streets of Bulgaria's capital on Tuesday drew his gun on officers and managed to escape in their patrol car, police said.

The man was driving a stolen car in a residential district of Sofia earlier on Tuesday when a police patrol spotted him and started a chase.

The action seemed to be over when the stolen vehicle struck a roadside electricity pole and police officers stepped out of their car to arrest the man.

But instead, the thief managed to take their vehicle at gunpoint and they could only watch as he drove away.

Police said officers opened fire at the fleeing suspect and believe he might have been wounded.

Later in the day, police found the patrol car abandoned in a distant suburb, but the thief had escaped.

[TexasStooge]

Burglar who stole computer, printers from school leaves name tag behind

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — What's in a name? A lot of trouble if you leave it at the scene of a crime.

Police are investigating a recent burglary at a portable school building in Albuquerque where a computer monitor, two printers and other equipment was stolen.

What they found was a restaurant employee name tag near the building at Bandelier Elementary School, according to court documents.

The tag, bearing the name "Sam," was used to help authorities track down Samuel Wilson, 19.

Wilson was being held on burglary charges.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Teenager caught school bus driver intoxicated

AURORA, Mo. (AP) — A teenager took matters into her hands when a substitute school bus driver who smelled of alcohol sped down the road with youngsters in tow, police said.

The 17-year-old girl, whose name was not released, ushered a group of remaining students off the bus when she reached her stop.

The driver, Daniel Adams, 55, was charged Tuesday with 10 counts of child endangerment, one day after he failed a sobriety test, authorities said. The Lawrence County prosecutor's office said additional charges could be filed. Adams remained jailed on bond.

There were six students left on the bus Monday when the 17-year-old passenger ordered the youngsters to get off at her stop, Aurora Police Chief Rick Batson said. The girl's family took the remaining children home.

"She was our little hero," Batson said.

Batson said a parent then called police to report that the erratic driving had frightened her children. Another parent said her children reported the driver was speeding down back roads and smelled of alcohol.

Police waited for the driver to return to the bus depot before arresting him.

[TexasStooge]

Cat burglar makes itself at home

ITZSTEDT, Germany (Court TV) - The cat burglar who broke into an apartment in Itzstedt, Germany, and left the place in shambles can do one thing most other criminals can't do — meow.

Police found the furry culprit hiding under the kitchen cabinet after finding the apartment's window blinds destroyed and ripped drapes and ruined furniture scattered across the apartment.

Police also found a broken aquarium with fish remains on the floor of the home.

"No one knows how the cat broke in," police spokesman Julika Reinhardt told Reuters. "But the damage was considerable."

The burglar put up a fight, however, before being escorted off the premises. The cat reportedly bit an officer's thumb and was later returned to its owner, who will be responsible for the damages, according to the news service.

[TexasStooge]

Man charged with destroying corpse

NEWBURY, Mass. (Court TV) - A man who yanked off a corpse's spine and ran around a cemetery with its skull in his hand allegedly had a grand old time — until police saw pictures capturing his crypt-ic celebration.

Neil J. Goodwin Jr., 19, was performing community service as part of his probation at a Civil War-era burial ground in Newbury, Mass., on Aug. 17, when he allegedly kicked open a crypt from 1863 belonging to the Pierce family and tore a corpse apart.

"It is shocking and disturbing beyond my comprehension why someone would do this," Lt. Richard Siemasko of the Newbury Police Department said. "Just when you think you've seen it all, something like this surprises you."

Police received three pictures of the suspect holding and posing with the bones. The camera-phone photographs were taken by another community service probation worker who saw the incident, according to police.

Investigators found a skull in a 15-foot hole near the tomb after the accused allegedly dropped it.

Goodwin faces two felony counts of desecrating a corpse and breaking into a tomb and is scheduled to appear in court on Sept. 22. If convicted, he could face several years behind bars.

"This is just a random act of stupidity," Siemasko said. "He's just not very bright."

[TexasStooge]

After arrest, guard urinates on jail computer

SHELTON, Wash. (Court TV) - Willie Shannon, 26, was recently relocated from the city jailhouse, where he worked as a guard, to Thurston County Jail in Shelton, Wash., but now he's behind bars.

Shannon, who was arrested after a fight in a nighclub with Randy Hinchcliffe, 38, and co-worker Sean Dack, 25, may also face malicious mischief charges for urinating on a jail computer nearby his holding cell.

While Hinchcliffe and Dack were in the process of being released, Shannon discovered a nearby workstation and urinated on a neighboring computer, according to police.

Officials said his misconduct will cost an estimated $1,500 in total damages, which included the destruction of the computer system, a nearby fax machine and hardware.

Shannon has apologized, but new charges could be brought against him. Veltry Johnson, a spokesman for the State Department of Corrections, where both guards were employed, said the facility has reviewed the situation.

"[Shannon and Dack] have since been terminated," he said.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Sets Patrol Car on Fire

BALTIMORE, Md. (AP) - A man allegedly walked up to a marked patrol car parked behind Baltimore police headquarters Friday morning, doused the car with gasoline and set it on fire. The patrol car was substantially damaged by the flames, police spokesman Troy Harris said. The monetary lost was still being determined, he said.

The man received minor burns and was being treated Friday at Bayview Hospital. He was arrested at the scene and charges are pending, Harris said.

Police do not know why the man did it. They do not know much about the man. Harris said they will interview him after his release from the hospital.

The incident occurred around 10 a.m. The damaged vehicle was parked behind several other cars in a small parking behind police headquarters at Baltimore and Gay streets, Harris said.

[TexasStooge]

Landlord Allegedly Raises Heat on Tenant

CAPE GIRARDEAU, Mo. (AP) - A landlord faces a misdemeanor assault charge, accused of turning on the heat in an asthmatic tenant's apartment this summer after a dispute over unpaid rent and living conditions.

Fred Barnard, 62, of Cape Girardeau, will next appear in court Sept. 26.

Cape Girardeau police said they recorded a temperature of 125 degrees in the apartment of tenant Denise Owens.

"Basically, it was like walking into a sauna," patrolman Paul Zajicek said.

Owens told police the landlord came to her apartment seeking unpaid money on Aug. 6. She claimed her air conditioner, stove and refrigerator were not working, and she was without hot water. She told police she refused to pay until he fixed some of the problems, according to a probable cause statement.

Owens lost her job in June and hasn't paid rent since then, she said.

She claimed to police that Barnard then raised the heat and left. This was allegedly done "on a very hot day knowing that her air conditioner was not working and that she suffered from asthma," according to court records.

Barnard then refused to come to the apartment when patrolman Rob Watson called to ask him to turn off the heat.

"Sir, are you aware that you are interfering in a private matter?" Barnard replied, according to a probable cause statement filed by Watson.

After a hearing Thursday on Barnard's eviction complaint against Owens, he denied turning up the heat.

"I didn't do it," Barnard said. "It didn't happen."

Barnard did not immediately return a phone message Friday seeking additional comment.
___

Information from: Southeast Missourian

[TexasStooge]

Two Men Allegedly Break Into McDonald's

CASPER, Wyo. (AP) - Did they want fries with that? Two men were charged with burglary after they allegedly broke into a McDonald's restaurant and tried to steal food.

Michael Eugene Croley and Christopher Carl Walker, both 18, walked up to the restaurant's drive-through window early Saturday morning and asked for any unsold food the restaurant planned to throw away, Casper police Sgt. Brad Wnuk said Tuesday.

When McDonald's employees told them the restaurant was closed, one of the men allegedly pried open the window and climbed at least part of the way into the restaurant, where workers called 911 and fled into the kitchen.

"The employees were afraid they would be robbed," Wnuk said.

The two were arrested shortly after the incident, and denied any involvement, according to court documents.
___

Information from: Star-Tribune

[TexasStooge]

Delivery Man Accused of Stealing Tickets

ELKHART, Ind. (AP) - A man whose prized University of Notre Dame season football tickets failed to arrive found out from police where they ended up — at the delivery man's house.

The Elkhart man called the delivery service Aug. 16 after his tickets failed to arrive and was told that they had been dropped off at the wrong address.

But this week, police told the man that his tickets were definitely at the wrong address — they were at the home of Ronnie J. Allard, 38, the delivery man.

Elkhart County Patrolman Jason Ray said Allard, who faces a felony charge of possession of stolen property, said he asked his girlfriend to steal the tickets after he delivered them to the man's front porch.

The ticket theft came to light Sunday as Allard and his girlfriend fought at his house.

Ray said that when police came to the house, the woman told them about the stolen tickets.

Ray looked at the tickets and spotted the name of the owner, who had not reported the theft, thinking the tickets were mistakenly delivered.

Police finally delivered the tickets, valued at $10,000, to the man.
___

Information from: The Truth

[TexasStooge]

Thief nabbed after online sale to victim 2 hours

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A German thief stole a man's in-car navigation system and unwittingly auctioned it online back to his victim, who had police arrest him, authorities said Wednesday.

Police in Berlin said the 26-year-old victim spotted the device on an Internet auction site and quickly re-acquired what he had reported stolen from his car some two weeks previously.

He informed police, who went to the thief's house posing as the buyers and then arrested the 21-year-old.

"I think the thief got a bit of a surprise," said a Berlin police spokesman, adding the man confessed to the theft.

[TexasStooge]

Pa. Man Impersonates Lawyer - Again

OAKMONT, Pa. (AP) - Allegheny County police don't deny that Charles Arrotti knows a lot about the law. But they say that doesn't make him a lawyer — and that made it a crime when Arrotti argued 14 cases before local district judges.

Investigators say the 56-year-old Arrotti even bragged to some folks that he worked on the Robert Blake murder trial.

Arrotti served five months in jail after pleading guilty in 1993 to impersonating an attorney. He was found out again when county Detective J. Todd Moses, who investigated the Arrotti case way back then, recognized Arrotti in a district court room in March.

Arrotti has an unlisted phone and couldn't immediately be reached for comment today.

He is charged with 14 counts of unauthorized practice of law, theft by deception and theft of services.

[TexasStooge]

Police Find Pot in 200-Pound Stolen Safe

ESCANABA, Mich. (AP) - A man who reported a safe stolen from his home a month ago may now face charges after police found the safe — with almost a pound of marijuana inside.

The Bark River man told Delta County sheriff's deputies last month that someone broke into his home Aug. 9 and took the 200-pound safe, which contained a rifle, muzzleloader, two knives, a rangefinder and a collection of silver dollars.

Deputies recovered the safe early Wednesday after receiving a tip, Detective Lt. Mike Gierke told the Daily Press of Escanaba. The safe was still locked, and when deputies called the owner to open it, they discovered the items he described, along with the marijuana and $500 cash.

"It was obvious the alleged victim did not think we were going to be tenacious enough to recover the safe," Gierke said.

The tip led to the arrest of Joseph Henderson, 21, Gladstone, whom deputies believe stole the safe. He was arraigned Wednesday in Delta County District Court on a count of home invasion.

Charges have not yet been sought against the Bark River man, but his arrest is pending, Gierke said.

[TexasStooge]

N.C. Couple Who Faked Crop Damage Jailed

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) - A couple who faked weather damage to their crops by having workers throw ice cubes onto a tomato field and then beat the plants were ordered Thursday to repay more than $9 million they received fraudulently.

Robert Warren must also serve six years and four months in prison, while his wife, Viki Warren, was sentenced to 5 1/2 years by U.S. District Court Judge Lacy Thornburg. The pair, from Candler, must repay $9.15 million to the U.S. Department of Agriculture for insurance payments and must forfeit $7.3 million in assets from their crimes, federal prosecutor Gretchen C.F. Shappert said.

The Warrens were charged with lying to insurers about planting and harvest dates and production from their R&V Warren Farms in South Carolina and Tennessee beginning in 1997.

The data falsely indicated a history of high tomato production from their farms, Shappert said. The couple then photographed their fake crop damage to help document their insurance claims.

Prosecutors also said the Warrens claimed to have harvested 4,375 buckets of strawberries in 2000 from farms in Buncombe and Henderson counties. The strawberries were claimed to have been a total loss and the couple received more than $98,000 in indemnity payments.

In fact, the government said, the Warrens harvested more than 48,000 buckets of strawberries that year.

The Warrens purchased crop insurance from private companies that were ultimately reimbursed by the federal government through the Federal Crop Insurance Corp.

Robert Warren pleaded guilty last summer to conspiracy to defraud the FCIC and conspiracy to commit money laundering. His wife pleaded guilty to conspiracy to defraud the FCIC and mail fraud.

Three other defendants in the case have pleaded guilty: George Kiser of Lebanon, Va., an insurance agent who sold policies to the Warrens from 1997 to 2000; Thomas Jeffrey Marsh of Bulls Gap, Tenn., an insurance claims adjuster who allegedly certified false claims and statistics from various Warren farms; and Demetrio Jaimes of Candler, a farm foreman.

Jaimes was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to one count of lying to the FCIC and agreeing to cooperate with prosecutors. The others await sentencing.

[TexasStooge]

Prostitute Gets 30 Years for Burning House

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) - A prostitute who torched a civic leader's home because she was angry that newcomers to the neighborhood were hurting her business was sentenced to 30 years in prison.

Dusty Simmons, 45, had never been to prison despite 83 prior convictions for prostitution, drugs, robbery and bail jumping. The judge sentenced her on the arson conviction as a habitual felon, noting Simmons had lived outside the law most of her life.

"She has become a Jacksonville criminal institution," said prosecutor Stephen Siegel, who asked for a life sentence.

Prosecutors said Simmons set the fire because new residents to the Springfield neighborhood were hurting the street prostitution and drug trades. The home's resident was inside at the time of the 2003 fire.

Her defense attorney said Simmons would appeal. Friends and relatives asked for leniency, saying that since being released on bail, Simmons had been drug-free and earned an honest living on her uncle's shrimp boat.

"These last months she's been a real lady and I'd recommend just as much mercy as you can give her," said her cousin, Lester Hodges.

Springfield Preservation and Revitalization Council President Louise DeSpain said she could have been killed.

"I'm a victim who could possibly not be here today because Dusty set my house on fire with me in it," DeSpain said.

[TexasStooge]

Alleged Drunk Driver Jumps Into Back Seat

CANBERRA, Australia (AP) - An allegedly drunk driver stunned pursuing police in northern Australia by jumping into the back seat with his three passengers, leaving his car to careen out of control on an Outback road, police said Monday.

Police charged the 24-year-old man with resisting arrest and driving under the influence of alcohol after he abandoned the wheel on Saturday, ignoring the police car's siren and signals to pull over, said Sgt. Wayne Jenkinson, a police officer in the Northern Territory town of Katherine.

One of the car's passengers suffered minor injuries when she panicked and jumped from the driverless car while it was still rolling 25 miles per hour, he said.

The runaway car then rapidly lost speed, allowing a policeman to get out of his vehicle, chase it down on foot and bring it to a halt by applying the brake.

The man, who had a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.178 percent — more than three-times the legal limit of 0.05 — was also charged with driving in a dangerous manner, driving while disqualified and driving an unregistered vehicle, Jenkinson said.

Jenkinson said the driver's hazardous maneuver was aimed at avoiding arrest.

"His cunning plan, in his muddled state of mind, was he wouldn't be the driver," Jenkinson said.

He will appear in a Katherine Magistrates Court this week.

[TexasStooge]

Man tries to rob FBI coffee shop

TOLEDO, Ohio (Court TV) - Is Andrew Johnson fearless or just senseless?

The Ohio man allegedly attempted a daring robbery of a coffee shop inside an office building in Toledo that also housed the FBI.

According to Toledo Police spokesperson, Capt. Diana Ruiz-Krause, Johnson, 34, entered the store at about 8:10 a.m. on July 25 and pretended to be an employee. He walked behind the store's counter and removed $165 from the cash register.

A store manager confronted Johnson and the two men began to struggle. When the thief attempted to escape by jumping over the counter, he was tackled by an FBI agent and other customers who were waiting on line.

Several other FBI agents rushed down from their offices to help subdue Johnson, who surrendered when he realized that he was outnumbered, Ruiz said.

When Toledo police arrived to arrest Johnson, the suspect thrashed around, uttered obscenities and kicked out the window of a squad car. Officers had to use pepper spray to restrain him.

Johnson was charged with robbery and felony vandalism, and taken to the Lucas County Jail.

[TexasStooge]

Parolee's tracking device derails bank robbery attempt

WATERBURY, Conn. (Court TV) - A parolee in Waterbury, Conn., was over-accessorized for his alleged bank-robbery attempt on August 30.

The offending accessory was his ankle bracelet — the electronic type.

Delome Small, 37, and his older brother John Small, 46, were arrested for a bank robbery attempt that Waterbury police say the brothers abandoned when Delome Small became concerned that his electronic tracking device would go off and alert his probation officer.

According to Sgt. Chris Corvett, the device restricted the choice of banks the brothers could target, and they chose a Bank of America branch that was closest to their mother's home.

The brothers allegedly entered the bank and threatened employees and customers with a fake gun. While John Small guarded the bank's lobby area, Delome Small jumped over the counters to grab money but found the cash drawers locked.

Corvett said because the brothers were unsure of how far they had traveled outside of the tracking device's range, they became nervous and left without demanding that tellers open the locked drawers.

Officers arrested the Small brothers after tracking down their vehicle. A search of their home turned up the fake gun, nylon stockings used to mask the brothers' faces, and latex gloves.

The brothers were charged with conspiracy, criminal attempted robbery and larceny, and brandishing a facsimile firearm. Delome Small was also charged with violating his probation. The brothers are being held on $500,000 bond each.

[TexasStooge]

Father sends daughter to hold up bank as prank

SAVANNAH, Ga. (Court TV) - Michael Lyons made his daughter's thirteenth birthday a memorable one. The affair involved several armed FBI agents and members of the Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan Police Department.

Lyons, 45, was making a stop at an ATM machine during an outing with his daughter and a group of her friends to celebrate her birthday on August 26 when he decided to play a practical joke on the girl.

According to the newspaper Savannah Now, Lyons wrote a note that said, "Give me all of your money, this is a stick up," and gave it to the girl with instructions to take it to a teller.

While her father withdrew money from the machine, the girl walked into the bank with the note and showed it to a teller, who rang the alarm.

Several police officers and FBI agents responded to the alarm and surrounded the building, but instead of armed robbers, they found Lyons and the girls. Although Lyons told officers that the incident was a prank, he was arrested and taken to jail. The girl was released to her mother, the report said.

Lyons was charged with criminal attempt of robbery by intimidation.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Pedals Away With Pot Plants

EUGENE, Ore. (AP) - It was a terribly low-tech version of drug trafficking. Dwayne Earl Anthony Etzel was arrested on drug possession charges after a police officer caught sight of him pedaling on a bicycle with three uprooted marijuana plants under his arm.

Police spotted Etzel, 18, cycling in the early evening Monday with what they described as a "big smile" on his face. It was 5:40 p.m. and still light out.

"I see this guy riding up the street with what looked like a big old bush under his arm," said Eugene Narcotics Detective Scott Vinje. "It didn't click right away that it was marijuana. Then I smelled it."

He pulled up alongside the bicyclist, showed him a badge and ordered him to stop.

When police tried to stop him, Etzel allegedly threw the marijuana plants at the officer's car and pedaled off. After catching up with him, the officer used pepper spray to get the cyclist under control.