The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Well, if you can't even trust a hitman...

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) - A Japanese woman called in the police after a hitman she paid to kill her lover's wife failed to carry out the job.

The 32-year-old Tokyo woman was arrested Wednesday for incitement to murder, the Daily Yomiuri newspaper said Friday.

The woman contacted a private detective through a Web site last November and paid him 1 million yen in cash to murder her love rival, the paper said.

The 40-year-old detective accepted the money and suggested he could carry out the job by chasing the victim on a motorcycle and spraying her with a biological agent in a tunnel.

Police also arrested the private detective and found the alleged target safe and well, the paper said.

[TexasStooge]

Elderly Man Arrested for Picking Pockets

TOKYO, Japan (AP) - Some elderly people putter in the garden or play with their grandchildren. This octogenarian is accused of a different past-time: picking pockets.

A man identifying himself as Hiroshi Abe, 81, was arrested on Thursday in western Japan and accused of lifting a wallet from a man's pocket, police said.

The man, who had no fixed address and was carrying no identification papers, told police that he had been arrested and imprisoned before, according to police in Osaka, about 250 miles west of Tokyo.

[TexasStooge]

Chinese Police Bust Bogus Booze Bootlegger

SHANGHAI, China (AP) - What happens to old liquor bottles? If it's China, they might end up back on the bar shelf, filled with bogus booze.

At least 10 people have been arrested and more than 7,000 bottles of phony whiskey, cognac and other spirits seized following a monthslong investigation into a nationwide bootlegging operation, the official China Daily newspaper reported Tuesday.

The gang, headed by a 45-year-old man identified only by his surname, Lai, collected empty, discarded bottles of name brand liquors such as Chivas Regal and Remy Martin, and then filled them with generic drinking alcohol blended to taste, look and smell like the real thing, the report said.

"Wine samplers said the fake alcohol Lai mixed ... would easily have fooled ordinary consumers," the newspaper said.

Lai and his associates sold the booze to nightclub managers around China who denied knowing it was fake, despite its heavily discounted price, it said. Lai's scheme began to come undone after police in the eastern port city of Tianjin received a tip from the China office of a Hong Kong liquor industry association that fake booze was being sold in the city on a large scale, the report said.

Lai was arrested with several others at his makeshift bottling plant in southern China in June, it said. He faces a sentence of 15 years to life in prison if convicted, the newspaper reported.

It wasn't clear why news of Lai's arrest wasn't reported earlier, but China Daily said police were continuing to investigate the source of the raw alcohol.

The case highlights the broad scope of fakery in China, where gangs counterfeit everything from vaccines to DVDs.

An intellectual property rights crackdown launched last November, designated "Operation Mountain Eagle," has led to the cracking of more than 1,800 cases involving more than 1.3 billion yuan (USeuro160 million; euro130 million) in sales, China Daily said.

[TexasStooge]

Fight escalates over missing mail

BALTIMORE, Mary. (Court TV) - Gentlemen, choose your weapons!

When Maryland state troopers responded to a dispute between Eddie James Adkins and Shaun Michael Sullivan, the officers discovered that they had missed quite a battle — a fistfight that escalated into domestic warfare with various household tools for weapons.

According to a police document, Sullivan stopped by Adkins' home to collect his mail on September 6, but when he didn't find any, he let himself into the house. Adkins arrived at the residence as Sullivan was exiting the home and allegedly told him that he had no right to be in the home without permission. The two men then got into a fistfight.

Maryland state trooper spokesperson Detective Sgt. Michael Kinhart was unable to confirm the nature of the men's relationship.

When Adkins went into his home and returned with a broomstick, Sullivan retrieved an aluminum baseball bat from his car, the report said. Adkins was able to wrestle control of the bat from Sullivan, but as he walked back towards his home, Sullivan followed him with a shovel. Sullivan then allegedly began to choke the other man with the tool.

After Adkins fought off Sullivan's shovel assault, he went into his bedroom and produced a black .22-caliber rifle that he pointed at Sullivan. When Sullivan refused to leave the property, Adkins fired a shot in his direction, but missed.

The gun-wielding combatant later told officers at the scene that he had intended to fire a second shot at his opponent but that the rifle had jammed, the report stated.

State troopers arrested both men and charged them with first-degree assault and reckless endangerment. Sullivan was also charged with two counts of burglary and trespassing.

[TexasStooge]

Man reports safe with pot stolen

DELTA COUNTY, Mich. (Court TV) - A Michigan man who reported his 200-pound safe stolen didn't expect that law enforcement officers would be curious about the box's contents once they found it.

Police say the man, whose name has not been released, may be facing charges after the opened safe revealed a stash of marijuana.

According to Delta County Detective Lt. Mike Gierke, the man reported the safe stolen on August 10 after he returned home from a late baseball game and discovered that his home had been burglarized. An eyewitness tip led authorities to Joseph Henderson, who denied his involvement in the incident.

Henderson reportedly hid the safe in the woods for almost a month before returning on September 7 to attempt to break into the box. Gierke said another source divulged details of Henderson's plan and officers were waiting to arrest him and an accomplice.

But officers had other suspicions about the safe.

"We had a search warrant and our crowbars — we suspected that there was more in the safe than just guns, as the owner had told us," Gierke said.

The owner initially was reluctant to come down to the police station to open the safe. Gierke said he told the man that the safe would be forced open without his consent.

"He knew what he was in for," the officer said. "Why report a safe stolen, especially if it was full of marijuana? He should be given a double dumbbell award."

The man voluntarily opened the safe, which contained guns and six to eight bags of marijuana weighing two ounces each. Gierke said although the man was allowed to leave, a request for an arrest warrant was submitted on September 12.

The man could face charges of criminal possession of marijuana with intent to distribute. The burglar, Henderson, was charged with a count of home invasion and is being held on $5000 cash bond.

[TexasStooge]

Fake Rastafarian arrested in bank heist

COLUMBUS, Ohio (Court TV) - Yah, mon, this is a stick-up.

John G. McQueen's disguise was not particularly striking, but witnesses at a bank that the Georgia man allegedly robbed remembered his fake Jamaican accent after he was gone.

According to Columbus Police Captain Lem Miller, McQueen, 38, entered a Wachovia Bank on September 9 at about 9:30 a.m., wearing a dreadlocks wig, a black ski mask, and an all-black outfit.

He allegedly held employees at gunpoint and told them that he had a bomb. A witness later told officers that McQueen spoke with a Jamaican accent.

"To the best of our knowledge, he is not of Jamaican descent," Miller said.

After McQueen took an undisclosed amount of money and fled from the bank, another witness reported seeing the man enter a wooded area near the bank. McQueen later emerged from the woods and asked to use the eyewitness's cellphone, Miller said.

Officers were later able to trace McQueen's phone call to the home of two co-conspirators, Candice Collins and Randolph Robinson, who were not present during the robbery. McQueen's wig was recovered at the residence.

The three suspects were arrested, but McQueen was taken to a hospital for symptoms related to drug use. He was released two days later and is being held without bail.

McQueen, Collins and Robinson have been charged with armed robbery.

[TexasStooge]

Prank leaves bad taste in victim's mouth

DELTONA, Fla. (Court TV) - A shopper at a Deltona, Fla., convenience store found more than Yellow No. 5 turning his newly purchased bottle of Mountain Dew phosphorescent yellow.

After drinking the soda, the victim, whom police have identified as L.T., started to vomit in the parking lot. When he took the bottle back to the Pix Convenience Store for an explanation, the store manager attributed the incident to "bad syrup."

If by "bad syrup," the manager meant urine, then he was correct. Daniel Nevins, the victim's lawyer, claims tests have confirmed the presence of urine in L.T.'s Mountain Dew, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Detectives might not have solved the crime if a Pix employee didn't overhear two others bragging about it.

According to police reports, store clerks Anthony Mesa and William Bonilla launched their foul prank on Aug. 30. Mesa considered using a bottle of Gatorade or Corona beer before picking the Mountain Dew. He opened the bottle, walked into the freezer, shut the door, and reemerged moments later with the cap retightened. He then placed in the drink cooler for sale.

When a coworker heard the men boasting about it, she reported it to her manager, who in turn interrogated Mesa. According to police, the clerk came clean.

"I did it," Mesa said. "I peed in the Mountain Dew."

Prosecutors have charged Mesa with a first-degree felony for tampering with a product. They have not decided whether to file criminal charges against Bonilla.

In a public statement, Mesa wrote, "It was all me. Therefore I don't care if I'm fired and prosecuted because I deserve it. Sorry for being immature."

'Do the "eew"!'

[TexasStooge]

Man drunk dials judge

DYERSBURG CITY, Tenn. (Court TV) - There is one person someone with a track record of public intoxication shouldn't dial during an inebriated state — their judge.

Ray Dunivant, who has been charged with public intoxication dozens of times, called Judge Hyman Ingram of Dyersburg City, Tenn., at his home late one night to inform him he was once again drunk.

Ingram said Dunivant called him several times insisting that authorities drop by the local car wash by the county jail to arrest him. Ingram initially told him police had better things to do and went back to sleep.

However, a persistent Dunivant kept calling to convince the judge otherwise.

According to the State Gazette, however, Dunivant later appeared before Ingram in court begging the judge to go easy on him.

"If I get a break today, judge, you won't see me for another six months," Dunivant reportedly said.

The judge agreed to suspend the public intoxication charge, but vowed to overturn that ruling if Dunivant is arrested again in the next six months.

Under arrest for Dialing While Intoxicated. Ain't that somethin'?

[TexasStooge]

Burglar smears frosting on sleeping victim

SPOKAYNE COUNTY, Wash. (Court TV) - A homeowner who slept through his house burglary had a sweet awakening when he rose from his naked slumber — he had been smeared with chocolate frosting.

Icing culprit Michael Kay allegedly met the homeowner earlier in the day when they shared a few drinks together.

Several hours after the sleepy owner went home and passed out on his bed, Kay broke in.

According to a local newspaper, Kay discovered the chocolate frosting after snooping around the kitchen and stealing a few beers.

He then decided to smear it all over his sleeping acquaintance and opened the dog pen, hoping the pets would go after the sweet treat.

Prosecutors in Spokane County, Wash., were not amused by the prank and have since brought the case to court.

What a Wake Up Call.

[TexasStooge]

Thailand Thieves Rob Man for Jeans, Shoes

BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - Two thieves robbed a man at knifepoint to steal his jeans and shoes, but they ended up with a pair of fake Levi's, police said Monday.

Watcharaphong Khaewka, a 21-year-old office worker, filed a complaint with police saying that the two men put a knife to his neck and forced him to take off his jeans and sport shoes.

"The attackers did not touch the money, watch and other valuables on the victim. They just took his jeans and sport shoes and let the victim walk home in his underwear," said police Lt. Col. Phongsak Thongsri, of Bangkok's Thongsonghong police station.

"The victim fears that the thieves will come to hurt him when they find out that the jeans were fake ones that he bought from Chatuchak Market," Phongsak said, referring to a popular weekend market that sells all kinds of counterfeit name-brand goods.

Police were searching for the thieves.

[TexasStooge]

Cops: Man Falls Asleep While Siphoning Gas

MUNCIE, Ind. (AP) - A man fell asleep while siphoning gasoline into a 55-gallon tank that had been installed in the back of a van, police said.

The manager of the Swifty station on the city's south side noticed the white van parked on its lot when he arrived Tuesday morning and called police.

Inside the van, officers reported finding a man asleep next to a 55-gallon tank and a battery-operated pump. A hose from the pump led to the gas station's underground tank.

"That's a lot of gas," Police Chief Joe Winkle said. "I'm sure he felt like this would be a pretty good heist for himself."

Firefighters were called to disconnect the hose, and the man was arrested on charges of theft and possession of a firearm without a permit, Winkle said. He was being held in the Delaware County Jail.

Winkle said investigators were working to confirm the man's identity.

With regular unleaded at the station selling for $2.67, the tank would have held nearly $150 worth of fuel.

[TexasStooge]

Cuffed Man Jumps in River, Then Swims Back

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - A man arrested for allegedly breaking into a Cross Lanes store broke free from deputies and jumped into the Kanawha River, only to come back when he apparently realized he would not get far because his hands were handcuffed behind his back.

Deputies waited for him on the riverbank and took him into custody again, according to a criminal complaint filed by Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputy J.R. Powell.

David Douglas Griffy II, 23, of Cross Lanes was arrested around midnight Sunday. Police believe he smashed the Dollar General store window with a tire tool so another man could steal cold medicine used to make methamphetamine.

He was charged with breaking and entering and fleeing deputies, both felonies. He was being held in the South Central Regional Jail on Tuesday on a $45,000 bond.
___

Information from: The Charleston Gazette

[TexasStooge]

Man mows obscenity on front lawn

OMAHA, Neb. (Court TV) - If one Nebraska homeowner had any harsh thoughts for neighbors who complained about his overgrown lawn, he made the sentiment evident for all to see.

The man, whom local media identified by his last name — Miller — mowed a two-word expletive on his front lawn.

According to City Prosecutor Marty Conboy, one of Miller's neighbors complained to the Omaha Parks and Recreation Department about the man's unsightly lawn. City statutes require that lawns be cut close to the ground. Tickets are issued for weed growth over 18 inches.

When park officials ordered Miller to mow his front yard, he did so selectively.

"He mowed an easily-read obscenity that was about three feet tall," Conboy said. Local media reported that the phrase was about 30 feet long across the yard.

Irate neighbors quickly discovered that they had very little legal recourse. Miller's actions are protected under the First Amendment.

"It's not neighborly, it's in bad taste, it's an affront to people with children, but it's not a crime," Conboy said of Miller's message. "It's his editorial reply to the city and his neighbors that he's mad about his lawn. And it's protected speech."

The prosecutor's advice to Miller's neighbors?

"It's best to ignore him," Conboy said. He added that he had already cautioned neighbors who entertained thoughts of mowing the rest of Miller's lawn to remove any trace of the obscenity. They could be the ones in trouble for trespassing.

Conboy was unable to confirm if the Omaha homeowner had cleared the rest of the lawn. But he said that if Miller failed to clean up after repeated warnings from the city, officials would send inspectors to mow the lawn and then present the man with a bill.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Carjacker thwarted by stick-shift car

SHAWNEE, Kansas (Court TV) - A recent carjacking attempt in Shawnee, Kansas, was stalled by an unexpected anti-theft device — the targeted vehicle's manual transmission. The suspect did not know how to operate one.

Shawnee Police spokesperson Captain Ron Copeland said on September 26, the carjacker, who was armed with a shotgun, approached a man who had just parked a late-model Chevrolet Camaro in a company lot and ordered him out of the car.

When the suspect entered the car, he discovered that it was equipped with a stick shift. He exited the vehicle, took the victim's keys with him and drove off with an accomplice in a waiting silver Chevrolet Cavalier with Missouri license plates.

"He's probably too young to know how to drive a stick, but he knows how to rob," Copeland said.

According to Copeland, the suspect, who is described as a thin black male in his late teens or early twenties, is a suspect in five other carjacking incidents in Johnson County. He remains at large.

Anyone with information should contact the Shawnee Police Department at (913) 631-2155.

[TexasStooge]

Woman accused of pelting officer with chicken wings

SMYRNA, Ga. (Court TV) - Police in Smyrna, Georgia, charged a woman with assault after she used her meal as a weapon.

Beverly Anne Campbell was allegedly driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street on September 23 when a police officer ordered her to stop.

According to media reports, the 61-year-old woman, who had just left a party at a local community center, threw a plate of chicken wings at the officer, hit him in the neck with a two-liter bottle of Coke and then pummeled his face with her fists. She also attempted to incite onlookers to help her with her assault.

Campbell was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery and felony assault on a police officer, and a misdemeanor charge of inciting a riot, the reports said.

Two other partygoers were arrested and face various charges related to the incident. The police officer is recovering from his injuries.

[TexasStooge]

Warm Teddy Bear Helps Nab Robbery Suspect

MANNING, S.C. (AP) - A warm teddy bear helped lead Clarendon County deputies to a man wanted for an armed robbery and carjacking.

Officers went to a Manning home Wednesday night after received a tip Gregory L. Mouzon was inside.

One of the investigators saw a pile of clothes in a closet and picked up a teddy bear on top that was unusually warm, Chief Deputy Joe Bradham said.

Other officers, including Investigator Tommy Burgess, started picking up the clothes and found Mouzon underneath the pile.

Mouzon "stuck his head up and said, 'Hello, Mr. Burgess,'" Bradham said.

Deputies had been looking for Mouzon for about 18 hours since he went into a gas station, robbed the clerk, then carjacked a 1996 Ford Taurus from an acquaintance who had driven him to the store, authorities said.
___

Information from: The Item

[TexasStooge]

Alleged naked burglar asks for shorts

COTTONWOOD, Ariz. (AP) - A man accused of trying to burglarize a home while naked Tuesday stopped in mid-escape to ask the victim for a pair of shorts, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

The victim threw the shorts to the accused burglar, who then fled, said Susan Quayle, a spokeswoman for the Yavapai County Sheriff's Department.

Nickos George Kopsaftis was later arrested next door, apparently while trying to steal a car, Quayle said. "He was wearing the shorts that were donated to him," she said.

Quayle said a man house-sitting for his father found Kopsaftis standing naked in an upstairs room holding two rifles belonging to the homeowner.

The victim told sheriff's deputies that he got the rifles away from the man, who ran away, but not before stopping outside to ask for clothes, Quayle said.

When deputies arrived, they found a pair of wet socks and a pair of wet pants with Kopsaftis' wallet and ID inside, Quayle said.

A banging sound from next door led deputies to a car which Kopsaftis appeared to be trying to hot-wire, she said.

Kopsaftis was booked into the county jail on two counts of burglary and two counts of attempted theft.

She said she didn't know how Kopsaftis' pants got wet.

[TexasStooge]

Man Breaks Leg Landing in Law's Long Arm

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - A Lincoln man who jumped from a second-story balcony — breaking a leg in the process — was arrested Monday by the sheriff's deputies he was trying to evade. But they weren't even looking for him.

Lancaster County deputies say they went to a Lincoln apartment looking for a suspect in a recent burglary. When no one answered the door, the deputies turned to leave, then heard a thud.

They found a man with a broken leg on the ground below the apartment, but it wasn't the burglary suspect they were seeking.

Nonetheless, he was arrested on outstanding theft warrants and suspicion of giving false statements.

[rainstorm]

Well, if you can't even trust a hitman...

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) - A Japanese woman called in the police after a hitman she paid to kill her lover's wife failed to carry out the job.

The 32-year-old Tokyo woman was arrested Wednesday for incitement to murder, the Daily Yomiuri newspaper said Friday.

The woman contacted a private detective through a Web site last November and paid him 1 million yen in cash to murder her love rival, the paper said.

The 40-year-old detective accepted the money and suggested he could carry out the job by chasing the victim on a motorcycle and spraying her with a biological agent in a tunnel.

Police also arrested the private detective and found the alleged target safe and well, the paper said.

at least it has a happy ending

[TexasStooge]

Police: Man in Wheelchair Steals Squad Car

RIALTO, Calif. (AP) - A disabled man in a wheelchair, arrested for allegedly trying to steal a power saw at Home Depot, managed to slip out of his handcuffs and steal the squad car he was placed in.

Phillip Anthony Moreno, 44, a parolee with a previous $200,000 warrant for his arrest, has eluded capture.

Moreno and girlfriend Denise Marie Vasquez, 35, were taken into custody about 3 p.m. Tuesday by Home Depot security officers after they allegedly tried to steal a hand-held electric saw, Sgt. Randy DeAnda said.

"He had been sitting on it. It was under him on the chair," the sergeant said.

When police officers arrived, they arrested Moreno and Vasquez and placed them in separate patrol cars. Moreno's wheelchair was put the squad car's trunk and the arresting officers stepped away to search the couple's car.

DeAnda said Moreno got out of the handcuffs, crawled through the security barrier window opening separating the front and back seat and got behind the wheel of the squad car.

Moreno drove away, the sergeant said, noting he has a bad leg.

The police car was found several hours later abandoned in Bloomington. The wheelchair was missing from the trunk.

Vasquez was booked and remains in custody, DeAnda said.