Attention Idiots!

[Cookiely]

Oct 26, 2005

Attention Idiots! Common Sense Has Arrived!
By DANIEL RUTH
druth@tampatrib.com



Because even complete imbeciles are our customers too, we here at Florida Power & Light want some of you dimwits to remain safe during the hurricane season.

That is why we are offering these safety tips for people who are dumber than a sack of fuses.

•Quite often after a hurricane, power lines can be found lying in the street. It is not a good idea to pick up these power lines. Two words -- Ted Bundy.

Yes, you are absolutely right, those of us here at FP&L are as amazed as anyone that we have to issue a warning telling people not to touch live power lines surging with a gazillion watts of power.

But where do the rest of you who are still alive think we got the idea to make this plea in the first place?

•Oh, and while we're at it, please refrain from licking electrical outlets after a storm to see if power has been restored.

You think we are being facetious? You have no idea.

Not Joking
•Hurricanes often bring floodwaters hiding downed power lines, which can turn those waters into one twisted Sizzler steakhouse.

It's a real good idea not to walk around in these waters, but then again, if some of you had any experience with good ideas, you would have figured this out for yourself, wouldn't you?

•Do not use matches or a lighter to determine how much gas you have left in your generator. No, really, we're not joking about this! Honest!

•Take that generator out of your bedroom now, right now! Look, we don't care that you want to watch television from your bed during a power outage.

You just spent $700 on a piece of machinery designed to kill you. Spend another $5 and buy an extension cord.

•If there is a loss of power, that dark stuff is called "nighttime."

We don't advise walking around at night during a loss of power, with all our wires out there dangling in the gloom waiting for you to walk into them.

The whole point of this exercise is to have the lights restored in order to illuminate the darkness. We're hopeful you'll understand the difference.

Watch This!
•Should there be a loss of power, we don't advise trying to reconnect service to your domicile yourself by climbing up utility poles to try to plug in your refrigerator.

Put as simply as possible so even a complete, unmitigated ditz can grasp the concept -- no good can come from this.

•Which reminds us, there is nothing like a hurricane to prove the validity that old joke: What are a redneck's last words? "Hey, watch this!"

Sorry, we here at FP&L couldn't resist that one.

•Some people believe in the event of a power outage they are last on the list to get their juice turned back on because we here at FP&L are harboring some sort of grudge against them.

As a matter of fact, this is true.

•We have a theory. We believe the very same people likely to pick up a downed power line while standing in a puddle are part of the same gene pool of "Deliverance" extras who will still drive their cars into chest-deep water even though they can see the rooftops of the stalled vehicles that plowed into the same flooded street ahead of them.

Why do people behave in such obviously self-destructive ways?

Alas, if we knew the answer to that, we wouldn't have to broadcast public service announcements full of sheer common-sense warnings even an Irish setter would realize are self-evident.

Hey! You! Yeah, you! Take that power line out your pocket! No, you can't have it as a souvenir of Hurricane Wilma!



This story can be found at: http://www.tampatrib.com/MGB596J19FE.html

[O Town]

It is quit amazing how dumb some people can be, some are just not born with common sense I suppose.

[gerrit]

What still amazes me is that electric companies in areas where hurricanes may hit, still have their power lines above the ground.

You'd think if they are so smart that they would start putting them in the ground.
I was born and raised in The Netherlands. When I was a kid, we had powerlines above the ground on poles. Now we don't have hurricanes over there but we can get some pretty strong storms. Electrical companies started putting their cables in the ground. If you visit The Netherlands ( and other northern European countries like Germany f.i. ) you hardly see any power and telephone lines above the ground. Blackouts or brownouts almost never happen. I know it is quite an investment to burry powerlines, but it pays off.

The same goes for houses.. If you're in a hurricane area, you know that mobile homes and wood construction houses most likely will be damaged or destroyed by a hurricane. Here in Puerto Rico ( where I live since 2001 ) the vast majority of the houses are concrete constructions with enough strength to withstand a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. Almost nobody here considers building a wooden house. ( the power and phone lines are still above the ground in many areas though )

Stepping down from the soapbox now

[arkess7]

[arkess7]

the power lines in my neighborhood are under ground too.......but right down the road there are poles and transformers all up and down the street........i guess when they built this subdivision in the early 80's they thought it would be smart to put all the power lines under ground.....which i think it is......theres not a pole in sight in my neighborhood...

[caribepr]

What still amazes me is that electric companies in areas where hurricanes may hit, still have their power lines above the ground.

You'd think if they are so smart that they would start putting them in the ground.
I was born and raised in The Netherlands. When I was a kid, we had powerlines above the ground on poles. Now we don't have hurricanes over there but we can get some pretty strong storms. Electrical companies started putting their cables in the ground. If you visit The Netherlands ( and other northern European countries like Germany f.i. ) you hardly see any power and telephone lines above the ground. Blackouts or brownouts almost never happen. I know it is quite an investment to burry powerlines, but it pays off.

The same goes for houses.. If you're in a hurricane area, you know that mobile homes and wood construction houses most likely will be damaged or destroyed by a hurricane. Here in Puerto Rico ( where I live since 2001 ) the vast majority of the houses are concrete constructions with enough strength to withstand a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. Almost nobody here considers building a wooden house. ( the power and phone lines are still above the ground in many areas though )

Stepping down from the soapbox now

Being as you live in PR now...you will understand that the power lines are above ground for the asthetic beauty of poles leaning this way and that, the thrill of finding one laying across the road in front of you, and the sheer drama of sparking transformers during storms, right before the plunge into darkness. Certain things are just not appreciated in Europe or other cities where money to go underground is valued *too much* in favor of the above.

[CharleySurvivor]

There are FLP (other companies also) employees and people who died last year after Charley from people doing stupid things.

This story is funny but their is a lot of truth to many of those lines.

[Lindaloo]

What still amazes me is that electric companies in areas where hurricanes may hit, still have their power lines above the ground.

You'd think if they are so smart that they would start putting them in the ground.
I was born and raised in The Netherlands. When I was a kid, we had powerlines above the ground on poles. Now we don't have hurricanes over there but we can get some pretty strong storms. Electrical companies started putting their cables in the ground. If you visit The Netherlands ( and other northern European countries like Germany f.i. ) you hardly see any power and telephone lines above the ground. Blackouts or brownouts almost never happen. I know it is quite an investment to burry powerlines, but it pays off.

The same goes for houses.. If you're in a hurricane area, you know that mobile homes and wood construction houses most likely will be damaged or destroyed by a hurricane. Here in Puerto Rico ( where I live since 2001 ) the vast majority of the houses are concrete constructions with enough strength to withstand a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. Almost nobody here considers building a wooden house. ( the power and phone lines are still above the ground in many areas though )

Stepping down from the soapbox now

Concrete does not survive either if a storm surge gets to it. Nothing can withstand a wall of water.

Linemen do not get enough credit for all they do for us when there is a power outage.

[Canelaw99]

What still amazes me is that electric companies in areas where hurricanes may hit, still have their power lines above the ground.

You'd think if they are so smart that they would start putting them in the ground.
I was born and raised in The Netherlands. When I was a kid, we had powerlines above the ground on poles. Now we don't have hurricanes over there but we can get some pretty strong storms. Electrical companies started putting their cables in the ground. If you visit The Netherlands ( and other northern European countries like Germany f.i. ) you hardly see any power and telephone lines above the ground. Blackouts or brownouts almost never happen. I know it is quite an investment to burry powerlines, but it pays off.

The same goes for houses.. If you're in a hurricane area, you know that mobile homes and wood construction houses most likely will be damaged or destroyed by a hurricane. Here in Puerto Rico ( where I live since 2001 ) the vast majority of the houses are concrete constructions with enough strength to withstand a cat 4 or 5 hurricane. Almost nobody here considers building a wooden house. ( the power and phone lines are still above the ground in many areas though )

Stepping down from the soapbox now

There are some power lines here in S. FL that are underground, but those communities (one in the Pinecrest vicinity I just heard on the local news) are without power now too. There was massive damage to power substations, and evidently, it doesn't matter with the lines are above or below ground in that case.

I, for one, do not understand why there are so many lines above ground here either unless it's just a cost issue. There is so much limestone, coral, etc. (aka really hard stuff to dig through) not too far underground here in FL that it would probably cost a lot for the electric cos. to dig and bury the lines. But, I don't know...could be wrong.

[Doc Seminole]

What still amazes me is that electric companies in areas where hurricanes may hit, still have their power lines above the ground.

The only problem with underground power lines is that people tend to plant trees near or on top of them and then...... when the tree goes over..... you have a HUGE problem. My understanding is that it is much more difficult to repair underground lines. This happened here last year during Charley and Frances.

Doc Seminole

[gerrit]

Being as you live in PR now...you will understand that the power lines are above ground for the asthetic beauty of poles leaning this way and that, the thrill of finding one laying across the road in front of you, and the sheer drama of sparking transformers during storms, right before the plunge into darkness. Certain things are just not appreciated in Europe or other cities where money to go underground is valued *too much* in favor of the above.

Ah! never looked at it this way

[gerrit]

Concrete does not survive either if a storm surge gets to it. Nothing can withstand a wall of water.

Agreed! But.. concrete will survive high winds better than standard wood constructed houses.

Linemen do not get enough credit for all they do for us when there is a power outage.

I never said that linesmen aren't doing a great job. I admire those guys big time!

[gerrit]

There are some power lines here in S. FL that are underground, but those communities (one in the Pinecrest vicinity I just heard on the local news) are without power now too. There was massive damage to power substations, and evidently, it doesn't matter with the lines are above or below ground in that case.

You're right there. When substations are damaged, underground power lines won't help. Then again, if lines would be underground, repairs would be completed faster

I, for one, do not understand why there are so many lines above ground here either unless it's just a cost issue. There is so much limestone, coral, etc. (aka really hard stuff to dig through) not too far underground here in FL that it would probably cost a lot for the electric cos. to dig and bury the lines. But, I don't know...could be wrong.

I think it's a cost issue, yes. I'm convinced that in the long run it will pay off though.

[gerrit]

The only problem with underground power lines is that people tend to plant trees near or on top of them and then...... when the tree goes over..... you have a HUGE problem. My understanding is that it is much more difficult to repair underground lines. This happened here last year during Charley and Frances.

It depends where you burry the lines. The main lines in the Netherlands are under streets/roads. ( together with water and sewer lines, telephone, cable tv.. ). No trees there

[brunota2003]

But, its alot harder and expensive to replace the underground lines, if one breaks underground, then you have to dig the roads or peoples yards up until you find the break, then repair it and the roads/peoples yards, then pay the people for the damage to their yards, etc... The above ground lines you can just replace the poles and restring the lines, so its way cheaper and easier...

[gerrit]

But, its alot harder and expensive to replace the underground lines, if one breaks underground, then you have to dig the roads or peoples yards up until you find the break, then repair it and the roads/peoples yards, then pay the people for the damage to their yards, etc... The above ground lines you can just replace the poles and restring the lines, so its way cheaper and easier...

Yabut... why would an underground line break? Earthquake?

[HurriCat]

Ah! The Florida Motto: Cheap and Easy! We have the poles and wires, overcrowded roads (many still two lanes) and my favorite - just about every Orange County public school campus is loaded with those shabby "petri-dish" PORTABLE CLASSROOMS. All cheap - all easy. All combining to spin the quality of life in FL right down the ol' pooper.

I can't stand the mentality. We hear that this or that costs too much, yet we always have the money to replace poles and lines over and over, or to keep parking those "Porty-Lets" as those classrooms are known to those who have to try and maintain them. The roads? Ha! Don't go there (or come here)

[Recurve]

Underground power lines are not a universal answer. Every time a water main breaks, do you want the ground to possibly become electrified? Water seeps into a conduit, there's a tiny break in the insulation, and Zip, everything touching the water is live. If you have saltwater surge, you'd have to dig up the entire system and replace it. That would have meant two or three times in the last year in coastal areas of Florida.

Electricity is expensive enough without the massive infrastructure changes and equipment costs of underground lines. Repairs are completed quickly with above ground lines. There is no simple solution to power delivery and storm protection. Probably the simplest change with the biggest payoff would be to stop people from planting the wrong trees in the wrong places.

[Aslkahuna]

Also, studies done in FL show that contrary to public opinion, lightning CAN penetrate far enough underground to take out the powerlines. I once lost three computers at work when lightning hit above the cable run carrying data cables from the sensors to the computers. Ironically, one those sensors was the lightning detector.

Steve

[Cookiely]

the power lines in my neighborhood are under ground too.......but right down the road there are poles and transformers all up and down the street........i guess when they built this subdivision in the early 80's they thought it would be smart to put all the power lines under ground.....which i think it is......theres not a pole in sight in my neighborhood...

A friend of our lives in an exclusive community with underground lines. Last year during Charley they lost power for several days and we live in an older community with above ground lines and never lost power. I never understood this.