Rules for Buying Gifts for Men

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sunny
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Rules for Buying Gifts for Men

#1 Postby sunny » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:27 am

Okay, ladies. Sometimes it's difficult to figure out what gifts to buy for our men. These rules may help some of us!!!!

Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" No one knows why.

Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")

Rule #11
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12:
Tickets to a Patriots game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. No one knows why.
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#2 Postby arkess7 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:09 am

:fools: :roflmao:

yea i have the worst time every year buying my hubbie and my dad something!!!!!! geez!!!! :roll: and now its that time of year again!!! ugggg!!!!! :eek:
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#3 Postby Dee Bee » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:00 pm

:fantastic: :rofl: :fantastic: :rofl: :fantastic:
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#4 Postby coriolis » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:22 pm

A cordless drill sounds really good.
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#5 Postby HurricaneGirl » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:56 pm

Good Stuff! LOL! :lol:
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#6 Postby Terrell » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:18 pm

Good for a few more laughs, great post.
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#7 Postby vbhoutex » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:58 pm

I only have 3 electric drills. One is cordless and two are corded. I have 4 cordless screwdrivers!! I think my mom may have read this thrread before!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Now, about the size of that BIG SCREEN TV!!! I have a perfect spot for a 72" HD Plasma to go!!!!!
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#8 Postby sunny » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:02 pm

vbhoutex wrote:I only have 3 electric drills. One is cordless and two are corded. I have 4 cordless screwdrivers!! I think my mom may have read this thrread before!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Now, about the size of that BIG SCREEN TV!!!


A man, a TV, and a remote....done deal!
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#9 Postby vbhoutex » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:11 pm

sunny wrote:
vbhoutex wrote:I only have 3 electric drills. One is cordless and two are corded. I have 4 cordless screwdrivers!! I think my mom may have read this thrread before!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Now, about the size of that BIG SCREEN TV!!!


A man, a TV, and a remote....done deal!


YEP!!!!!!!
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#10 Postby brunota2003 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:17 pm

vbhoutex wrote:
sunny wrote:
vbhoutex wrote:I only have 3 electric drills. One is cordless and two are corded. I have 4 cordless screwdrivers!! I think my mom may have read this thrread before!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Now, about the size of that BIG SCREEN TV!!!


A man, a TV, and a remote....done deal!


YEP!!!!!!!
who said a BIG SCREEN TV??? I get the package cable deal to right??? Tv's no good without EVERY sports channel known to man, and a few known to god and animals!!! So, I just need the 72" tv, dont know where I'll put it I'll find some place, a remote, and cable with every sports channel, then I'll be set!!! :lol:
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#11 Postby sunny » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:19 pm

brunota2003 wrote:
vbhoutex wrote:
sunny wrote:
vbhoutex wrote:I only have 3 electric drills. One is cordless and two are corded. I have 4 cordless screwdrivers!! I think my mom may have read this thrread before!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:

Now, about the size of that BIG SCREEN TV!!!


A man, a TV, and a remote....done deal!


YEP!!!!!!!
who said a BIG SCREEN TV??? I get the package cable deal to right??? Tv's no good without EVERY sports channel known to man, and a few known to god and animals!!! So, I just need the 72" tv, dont know where I'll put it I'll find some place, a remote, and cable with every sports channel, then I'll be set!!! :lol:


Now, about those very big DIAMONDS..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#12 Postby brunota2003 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:23 pm

ah, who cares about diamonds??? LOL :lol: Sports are better... :wink:
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#13 Postby Pburgh » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:06 pm

Hmmmmmm, watching the Steelers with some diamonds on my ears, hand and neck ------- now that's a plan!!!! :D :D
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#14 Postby sunny » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:09 pm

Pburgh wrote:Hmmmmmm, watching the Steelers with some diamonds on my ears, hand and neck ------- now that's a plan!!!! :D :D


NOW you're talking :D
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#15 Postby streetsoldier » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:40 pm

The only word to remember is...GUNS.

Anything else is superfluous.
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#16 Postby brunota2003 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:51 pm

streetsoldier wrote:The only word to remember is...GUNS.

Anything else is superfluous.
that to, either a .45 or a 9... :wink:
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#17 Postby azskyman » Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:02 pm

Industrial strength outdoor extension cords. Never enough of those. And we keep cutting them with our trimmers and mowers and edgers so they always need replacing. They even come in Christmas green now, so you can put a red bow on it and not even have to wrap it.

And besides, after a few weeks we can't untangle them any more and need a new one. Just like Christmas tree lights.

Never, though, get one less than 50' long. You know men. The longer the better.
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#18 Postby streetsoldier » Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:28 pm

brunota2003 wrote:
streetsoldier wrote:The only word to remember is...GUNS.

Anything else is superfluous.
that to, either a .45 or a 9... :wink:


Not quite; my old rangemaster at the STL MPD Academy said it thus...

"If you can't do the job with either a .38 or .357, you're trying to do something you shouldn't."

9mm rounds are comparatively anemic; .45 ACP is "overkill", and a good handload with the .38/.357 can equal or exceed the RSP ("relative stopping power", Hatcher scale) specs of the .45 easily.
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#19 Postby brunota2003 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:37 pm

streetsoldier wrote:
brunota2003 wrote:
streetsoldier wrote:The only word to remember is...GUNS.

Anything else is superfluous.
that to, either a .45 or a 9... :wink:


Not quite; my old rangemaster at the STL MPD Academy said it thus...

"If you can't do the job with either a .38 or .357, you're trying to do something you shouldn't."

9mm rounds are comparatively anemic; .45 ACP is "overkill", and a good handload with the .38/.357 can equal or exceed the RSP ("relative stopping power", Hatcher scale) specs of the .45 easily.
9 becasue theres little kick, and a .45 just to be sure they are dead... :wink:
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#20 Postby Tstormwatcher » Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:17 pm

I tell my wife to just get me a money card from either Lowes or Sears and I will be happy. :D
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