Snappy Come-Backs and Comments (from Maxine)
*You're not yourself today -- I noticed the improvement immediately.
*I'm ready to listen. Are you ready to think?
*Well, aren't you just the most adorable black hole of need!
*Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
*Don't believe everything you think.
*I don't know what your problem is ... but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
*Don't make me use UPPERCASE!
*If you have something to say, raise your hand -- and cover your mouth.
*Before you came along we were "hungry" -- now we're fed up.
*Would like some cheese to go along with that whine?
*I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
*I may be old, but people who look like me always win the lottery.
*The only two things people do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and go to funerals.
*Drinking makes some spouses see double and feel single.
*My bra is more of a "cross - your - waist."
*Wipe your mouth. There's a tiny bit of bull***t around your lips.
