Classes For Men...

[southerngale]

CLASSES FOR MEN AT OUR LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS.
SIGN-UP BY MAY 30TH.

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS EACH.



TOPIC 1 - HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS.
STEP BY STEP, WITH SLIDE PRESENTATION.

TOPIC 2 - THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE
HOLDERS?
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

TOPIC 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF
LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY
BATHTUB?
GROUP PRACTICE.

TOPIC 4 - FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY
HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.

TOPIC 5 - THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN
THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?
EXAMPLES ON VIDEO.

TOPIC 6 - LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
HELP LINE SUPPORT AND SUPPORT GROUPS.

TOPIC 7 - LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH
LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
OPEN FORUM.

TOPIC 8 - HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT
HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.

TOPIC 9 - REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
REAL LIFE TESTIMONIALS.

TOPIC 10 - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS
SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
DRIVING SIMULATION.

TOPIC 11 - LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
MOTHER AND WIFE.
ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.

TOPIC 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
RELAXATION, EXERCISES, MEDITATION AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES.

TOPIC 13 - HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING
BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING
WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.



***UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS WILL BE ISSUED TO
THE SURVIVORS.

[weatherlover427]

LOL! That's funny!

[chadtm80]

LOL

[Rainband]

ROTFLMAO..

[southerngale]

So, you guys signing up?

[therock1811]

Why would we do that? ROTFLMBO!

[stormraiser]

Nah, not me. Besides, I ain't into group practice on liftin' the lid to pee.

[coriolis]

I taught that class.

[azskyman]

I made it to topic 3 during the last semester, but got hung up so long on how to use Scrubbing Bubbles and paper towels on cleaning the toilet that I never completed the class.

Things really got out of hand when the guy sitting next to me came up with the bright idea of drinking from a "toilet duck" so that when he had to go it would then be self-cleaning.

[coriolis]

...and he could clean the tub while in the shower.

[pojo]

[Guest]

I like that and i figure sence we have our classes you ladies should have some of your own...........You know equality...........Enjoy!lol

Now here is the classes for Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR WOMEN.

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training
courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game.

5. Bathroom Etiquette: His Razor is His.

6. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

7. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging.

8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.

9. Introduction to Parking.

10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space.

11. Water Retention: Fact or Fat.

12. Cooking I: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption.

13. Cooking II: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.

14. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.

15. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His.

16. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.

17. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both.

[southerngale]

LOL king....I must admit that I could take a few of those courses, but the Undiscovered Side of Banking?
I do all of the banking, bills here.

And minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game?
I agree...let's watch the game honey!!

Bathroom Etiquette: His Razor is His?
NO PROBLEM!!! I have my own.

Getting What you Want Without Nagging?
Ok, do what you say you'll do and no nagging!

Oh, and I can back into a parking space with my eyes closed.

I guess I could take some of those courses though. See, I admit I'm not perfect.

[southerngale]

Oh yeah, I take care of my own oil and gas too. Hey, maybe I AM perfect. LOL!!!! j/k


But just TRY and pry that phone away from my ear!!

[j]

a few modifications for the same classes ....but for woman:

TOPIC 2 - THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: INSTALL IT OVER OR UNDER...WHO REALLY CARES??
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

TOPIC 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LOOKING FIRST TO SEE IF THE SEAT IS DOWN BEFORE CUSSING OUT THE NEAREST MALE.
GROUP PRACTICE.

TOPIC 10A - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PARALLEL PARK WHILE TALKING ON CELL PHONES AND FLIPPING YOUR HAIR?
DRIVING SIMULATION.

TOPIC 10B - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PULL UP CLOSE ENOUGH TO DRIVE THROUGH BANK TELLERS ON THE FIRST TRY?
DRIVING SIMULATION

TOPIC 10C - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PULL AWAY FROM A DRIVE THROUGH ANYTHING, WITHOUT FIRST APLYING LIPSTICK, CHECKING HAIR, PUTTING THE CAR IN REVERSE INSTEAD OF DRIVE, RE-CHECKING HAIR AND MAKE-UP?
DRIVING SIMUALTION AND LIVE VIDEO FEED FROM ANY DRIVE THROUGH TO DEMONSTRATE MOST COMMON INFRACTIONS.

Ok ...that's enough ..I got stuck on 10.