Desparately seeking help from you guys!

[wxcrazytwo]

WC, I really like it when you're like this!!!!

, I do have a not so nasty side. I just like feedback from you guys. I APPRECIATE IT...

[weathermom]

Ok, listen, financially it might be the right thing to do, having her stay home, but she has to WANT to be home for it to be the right thing. Sure, the kids might not get sick as much, but if she isn't happy, they won't be happy and it won't be the right thing for any of them.

Now, I am not sure how that just came off my keyboard, as I am a firm believer that children need a parent at home. I do, however, know that the transition from working to stay at home is HUGE.
And that was with my wanting to be home with my kids. Staying at home is not so bad, especially if you get involved in things with other parents so you aren't cooped up all day with just your own kids. Also, I found that getting active ( volunteering at church, in town) and doing something where you are known by your given name rather than so and so's mom really helps you to retain your identity. I have been home since my first child was born almost 14 years ago, and I really should be thinking about going back part time while they are in school, but I can't stand to think that I might turn into one of those parents who sends their kids to school sick because they have to go to work. (NEWSFLASH= the people who's kids are in daycare with yours!)

Just my 2cents.

[MGC]

Crazy, when my children (3 boys) were little, before they started school, I stayed home with them. We did a cost analylis and we determined that after daycare expences, work related expences and such that it was cheaper for one of us to stay home with the kids. We cut back on some of the luxuries, ate at home quite a bit and found that we really didn't need the additional income. We made it fine and so can you. Develope a budget and stick to it......MGC

[O Town]

Wow, it seems like an easy solution to me. But I am sitting over here. I would think she should just stay at home for a while with them. As someone else said, it is only a few years of her life. They are gone to school before you know it. I know not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom, but it would seem like the only solution as of now. But your kids may just as well get just as sick with her at home, there are germs everywhere. From the grocery to restaurants. Usually the sicker they are as kids the healthy they are when they grow up, they are building their immunity, but I know it has to be the fact they have RSV and that is the reason behind them getting sick so much. I have 3 kids and I stay at home, it is very hard work and hard on the nerves, but very rewarding. I also believe that there should be someone at home those first 5 years of life. And in my opinion in this situation I definitley think she needs to be at home with her kids. And ya know there is plenty of time later for her to pick up where she leaves off as far as her career goes. There is life after they turn 5 and start school.

I just went back and read about the financial part of this, and that is just one more reason, a very important one at that, that she needs to be at home.

[wxcrazytwo]

Crazy, when my children (3 boys) were little, before they started school, I stayed home with them. We did a cost analylis and we determined that after daycare expences, work related expences and such that it was cheaper for one of us to stay home with the kids. We cut back on some of the luxuries, ate at home quite a bit and found that we really didn't need the additional income. We made it fine and so can you. Develope a budget and stick to it......MGC

sounds good MGC. Your situation sounds a lot like mine.

[wxcrazytwo]

Wow, it seems like an easy solution to me. But I am sitting over here. I would think she should just stay at home for a while with them. As someone else said, it is only a few years of her life. They are gone to school before you know it. I know not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom, but it would seem like the only solution as of now. But your kids may just as well get just as sick with her at home, there are germs everywhere. From the grocery to restaurants. Usually the sicker they are as kids the healthy they are when they grow up, they are building their immunity, but I know it has to be the fact they have RSV and that is the reason behind them getting sick so much. I have 3 kids and I stay at home, it is very hard work and hard on the nerves, but very rewarding. I also believe that there should be someone at home those first 5 years of life. And in my opinion in this situation I definitley think she needs to be at home with her kids. And ya know there is plenty of time later for her to pick up where she leaves off as far as her career goes. There is life after they turn 5 and start school.

I just went back and read about the financial part of this, and that is just one more reason, a very important one at that, that she needs to be at home.

Sounds good. I believe you are right about staying home until they are at least 5. You know when she stayed at home with them they rarely got sick.

[azskyman]

Raising four little ones is a challenge of 4 to the fourth power! It's like you must sometimes look around and see a dozen of them, not just four! Especially when they are needy from being sick or hungry or otherwise wanting attention.

Next to spouses that argue about money, the next most common argument is about kids (and work). Whatever else you do, try to find some common ground upon which you can sustain (or even build) your relationship together. If you lose that, you are liable to lose each other AND the kids.

David's idea is a good one...and worth the try. I've been on a budget forever, and it really does work to write it all down, see where the money goes, and decide based on reality, not emotion, what the best thing to do may be.

I wish I could offer better news about kids and sickness, though. Seems that when one gets something they all do...not the best at good hygeiene at their ages either.

Since you live in Florida, you might also want to have an inspection of your home for mold and mildew. Lots of run and humidity can generate that...and it can add to the woes of already sick kids. My son and his family lived in a house that had some mold in the walls (in San Diego) and once the cleaned most of that up...everyone seems to have more good time in between the illnesses.

Food for thought, and good luck.

Love them all when you can...don't let a day go by without paying attention to the magic that happens before your very eyes. They will not only grow up and be gone in a very short time...but the memories you miss can't be relived...only remembered.

Good luck to you all!

Steve (a father of two)

[CajunMama]

If your wife is willing to stay home maybe you could find a Mothers Day Out program at one of the churches. The kids go a couple of days a week during the school year that enables them to interact and socialize with other kids. That way your wife could have some time to herself.

[MGC]

Ha, if you think keeping up with a bunch of pre-school kids is bad wait till they are all teenagers. I was about to lose my mind more than once. My kids would fight and draw blood. I'd trade that time for when they were young and loving any day. Stay home with your kids......MGC

[wxcrazytwo]

****UPDATE***** Now Joseph (3rd youngest) is getting sick. This is just friggin bizarre. He was coughing like a seal today, and me and my wife are up in arms. I'll tell ya when he gets sick forget it.


*******I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR INPUT, AS I HAVE TOLD MY WIFE THAT YOU GUYS GAVE ME GOOD INSIGHT AND SHE AGREED. I REALLY APPECIATE YOUR GUYS HELP, IT HAS BEEN TREMONDOUS AND UPLIFTING TO KNOW THAT I CAN COUNT ON YOU GUYS TO REALLY GIVE ME SOME GOOD INFO.

[Skywatch_NC]

Prayers and thoughts, Alex, for you and Rachel and for Braden and Joseph.
Hope the boys feel much better soon and until they're feeling more chipper may want to have some Dimetapp for them for temporary relief.

Eric

[wxcrazytwo]

Prayers and thoughts, Alex, for you and Rachel and for Braden and Joseph.
Hope the boys feel much better soon and until they're feeling more chipper may want to have some Dimetapp for them for temporary relief.

Eric

I'll tell you what Eric, it is a friggin rollercoaster, me and my wife never ever bargained for this.

[Miss Mary]

Ha, if you think keeping up with a bunch of pre-school kids is bad wait till they are all teenagers. I was about to lose my mind more than once. My kids would fight and draw blood. I'd trade that time for when they were young and loving any day. Stay home with your kids......MGC

MGC - I hear ya!!! I have teenagers now.....at least when they're 5, you know where they are! And when they'll be home......

I agree wxcrazytwo, try and stay home with your kids. One of you. Kids swap germs around like crazy. Been there, done that. I'm so grateful I could stay home with our daughters. I clearly remember a 7 week span when a fierce intenstinal bug went thru this entire family, several of us getting it twice. I thought my washing machine would break down. This is when I changed many of our habits.

1. Designated an old yellow Tupperware bowl, as our throw-up bowl. Loren knows what I'm talking about. I don't know how many nights I'd tuck one of them back in, to have it all start up 20 minutes later. Having to strip the bedding again. I finally got smart - I propped them up in the bathroom, next to the wall, with the bowl in their laps, on a warm cozy rug, blanket maybe, while I stripped the bed and ran the washer. It comes in waves, for several hours. When we thought it was passed, I'd let them go back to bed, but only with their bedroom door open, bathroom door open, clean run to the bathroom in other words. Bowl next to their pillow. My door open as well, I can hear that gag/cough a mile away.

2. Put antibacterial soap at every sink. We washed our hands the minute we walked in the door from any public outing - church, school, mall, grocery store, etc. We still do this! We also washed our hands before preparing food, eating, etc.

3. Everyone took their vitamins, especially during winter months.

4. We ate well, fresh fruit, veggies, they rarely had soda when young, juice, water or milk.

5. Made sure they went to bed by 8 p.m. each night.

Now, fast forward to 2006, and yes some of those habits have fallen by the wayside. But the hand washing, vitamins and healthy eating haven't. Lifelong habits if you teach them young.

Hang in there.....I'm going to say a phrase I hated when my kids were young, "this too shall pass".....at the time you think this is your life, forever. It's not. It does pass!

Mary

[wxcrazytwo]

Yeah, but when. This is getting old quick...I told my wife that this would have never happened if we had moved to Texas.

[Miss Mary]

When will be a while. Could be several more years. Until they're old enough not to put their fingers in their mouths, constantly. You've just gotta pump them with good food, decent rest/sleep, daily vitamins the Ped. recommends, good hygiene and hope for the best. Pretty much all you can do.

Can I ask why they wouldn't have been so sick in Texas? Would your wife had been able to stay home, cost of living lower, etc.? Or do you have extended family living in Texas? My mom NEVER wanted to watch my kids when I was sick or they were. And I mean never! She was afraid she'd catch it. I had a severe case of the flu, for almost 3 weeks when my kids were 2 and 5. Fever for over a week. I was dying! Hubby had to work and would relieve me by 6 each evening but I was IT from 7 a.m. until 6 p.m. everyday. I literally dragged thru that phase but I did recover. I would have loved help but couldn't work it out. Sorry, got off on a tangent there....

How are the kids today?

[Pburgh]

Trust me Alex, when you two make it thru this you will be much stronger. Some day you will look at each other and say "How the heck did we make it thru that?"

One thing you need to maybe stop doing is looking back and saying "if we would have, could have or should have" ------ Live in the "today" - what's past is past. The love you two have for each other will be tested on a daily basis. It sounds like it's pretty strong and will only grow stronger during these troubled times. ((HUGS)) and prayers for all of you.
Karan

[wxcrazytwo]

update:

He went to the doc's office and has "laryngotracheitis".

[Skywatch_NC]

update:

He went to the doc's office and has "laryngotracheitis".

More commonly known as Croup.

[Miss Mary]

I think that's highly contagious. Used to work for ENT docs.

I would separate their toothbrushes, in case all 4 are in the same holder (with holes). Put a few at the kitchen sink, 2 at the bathroom sink, opposite sides maybe.

Speaking of toothbrushes, we switch to new ones at least once a month. And if we've just been sick, it's definitely time to pitch the old one. Old toothbrushes harbor germs. Big time!

So maybe you could lay in a supply of inexpensive toothbrushes and begin pitching old ones, once they're better? Just a thought.....ever since I read this health tip, we follow it faithfully.

Mary

[wxcrazytwo]

I think that's highly contagious. Used to work for ENT docs.

I would separate their toothbrushes, in case all 4 are in the same holder (with holes). Put a few at the kitchen sink, 2 at the bathroom sink, opposite sides maybe.

Speaking of toothbrushes, we switch to new ones at least once a month. And if we've just been sick, it's definitely time to pitch the old one. Old toothbrushes harbor germs. Big time!

So maybe you could lay in a supply of inexpensive toothbrushes and begin pitching old ones, once they're better? Just a thought.....ever since I read this health tip, we follow it faithfully.

Mary

iT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, JOSEPH IS NOW SICK. BUT I CAN STILL SAVE THE OTHER TWO. GOOD ADVICE..