Updated Versions of Old Adages

[Dee Bee]

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

8. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

9.Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

11. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

12. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

13. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

14. He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

[coriolis]

All so true!