Snappy Answers!

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mf_dolphin
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Snappy Answers!

#1 Postby mf_dolphin » Wed Jun 04, 2003 8:36 am

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up ! that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

and finally

#5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their lau! ghter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sym pathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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bfez1
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#2 Postby bfez1 » Wed Jun 04, 2003 10:48 am

ROFL
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streetsoldier
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#3 Postby streetsoldier » Wed Jun 04, 2003 10:58 am

In college, I was the only art student in my fraternity's pledge class. A tradition in Greek societies is that fraternities and sororities have what is called a "pledge trade", in which male pledges are "adopted" by sorority members (called thereafter "pledge mothers"), and vice versa.

When it came my time to be presented, the girls called out in unison, "AND HOW LONG IS YOUR PENCIL??" I waited for a few minutes until the laughter died down; then, sotto voce, I replied,

"It's not how long you make it; it's how you make it LONG." :wink:
Last edited by streetsoldier on Wed Jun 04, 2003 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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weatherlover427

#4 Postby weatherlover427 » Wed Jun 04, 2003 11:04 am

OMGoodness that's too funny!
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Stephanie
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#5 Postby Stephanie » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:17 pm

Great one liners Marshall and Bill! :lol:
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David
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#6 Postby David » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:55 pm

Haha, thanks for the laugh.
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chadtm80

#7 Postby chadtm80 » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:56 pm

ROFL!!!
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pojo
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#8 Postby pojo » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:51 pm

those are hilarious! :D :D ROFL!
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#9 Postby Stormsfury » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:53 pm

OMG, *ROTFLMAO* especially at #4 and #5 ... and Bill's!!!!.
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Pro-Storm
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#10 Postby Pro-Storm » Wed Jun 04, 2003 6:09 pm

Good stuff.....especially the teacher!! :grab:
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