TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[TexasStooge]

Man, Son, Neighbor Swallowed by Cesspool

HUNTINGTON, N.Y. (AP) - A 71-year-old man who went outside in the rain to pick up the Sunday newspaper plunged into a cesspool in his front yard, and his son and neighbor were sucked in when they tried to help.

The victims escaped, two with the help of firefighters, covered in raw sewage but not badly hurt.

Andrew Palladino said the soggy ground, soaked by two days of rain, gave way outside his Long Island home: "I walked across the lawn, and all of a sudden I disappeared."

He yelled to his wife for help, and she threw a rope and called their son, Dan, who lives with them. The son said the scene "was like a horror picture."

A neighbor who heard the commotion ran over to help — but the ground gave way again, swallowing him and the son. The neighbor crawled out and passers-by tried to hold onto the others until the Huntington Fire Department arrived.

Firefighters secured the ground, lassoed Palladino and his son and dragged them out.

It's not the first time a cesspool — a pit that collects waste from toilets and sinks — has swallowed someone in Huntington.

In 2001, a man practicing archery in the backyard with his two children died when his cesspool caved in and consumed him. And in 1998, a Huntington Station man was rescued after he fell 65 feet into one.

[TexasStooge]

Art Exhibit in Kentucky Features 36 Bras

PADUCAH, Ky. (AP) - There's a giant pink bra hanging off a balcony at In Bloom Floral in Paducah. It's an advertisement for what's inside: an exhibit featuring 36 bras decorated by local artists titled "The Art of Underpinnings."

The Retired and Senior Volunteer Program at the Paducah-McCracken County Senior Citizens Center is sponsoring the exhibit in conjunction with the American Quilter's Society Quilt Show & Contest for the second year.

Artists painted or sewed items on bras to make their creation, which they named and described with a story.

Paducah-McCracken County Convention and Visitors Bureau named its bra, "Paducah or Bust."

Paducah artist Tatiana Cashon, who made "Pirates of the Carri-Bra-En" last year, designed "Group Support Bra," which was embellished with photographs of her family and friends for this year's exhibit.

"It was one of the most fun projects I have ever worked on," Cashon said. "When you mention it to someone, they immediately start thinking of ideas."
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Information from: The Paducah Sun

[TexasStooge]

Bride's Dad, Brother Stabbed at Reception

RAYMOND, Ohio (AP) - A bride's stepfather has been charged with stabbing the woman's father and brother in an argument at her wedding reception, authorities said.

The dispute began inside the Liberty Township Community Center on Saturday and spilled into the parking lot, where the men each were stabbed several times, Union County Chief Deputy Tom Morgan said.

Sheriff's deputies responding to a 911 call arrested Eric D. Adams in his car about two miles away, Morgan said.

Adams, 36, of Plain City, was being held Monday in the Tri-County Jail in Mechanicsburg on two counts of felonious assault, a jail officer said. His bond was set at $250,000 on Monday in Marysville Municipal Court, Morgan said. A preliminary hearing was set for May 3.

Rick Diamond Sr., 45, and Rick Diamond Jr., 18, both of Raymond, were flown by helicopter to Ohio State University Medical Center in Columbus. The elder Diamond was in fair condition Monday and his son was released Sunday, hospital administrator Jonathan Stewart said.

It wasn't immediately clear what sparked the dispute.

Raymond is 35 miles northwest of Columbus.

[TexasStooge]

Tempest in a D-cup as bust sizes grow

BEIJING (Reuters) - Bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because improved nutrition is busting all previous chest measurement records.

"It's so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras," Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China's commercial hub.

"You...never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic."

The report, seen on the daily's Web site Tuesday, said that the Hong Kong-based lingerie firm Embry Group no longer produces A-cups for larger chest circumferences and has increased production of C-, D- and E-cup bras to meet pressing demand.

The Beijing Institute of Clothing Technology released a report last week saying the average chest circumference of Chinese women has risen by nearly 1 cm (0.4 inch) to 83.53 cm (32.89 inches) since the early 1990s, the daily said.

This phenomenon, it said, was due to women eating more nutritiously and taking part in more sport.

Similar growth in the average height of children prompted a rethink last year in Beijing on the height allowance for free bus rides.

[TexasStooge]

Official arrested for chewing gum at ceremony

ANKARA, Turkey (Reuters) - An official in Turkey's ruling party has been arrested for chewing gum while laying a wreath at a monument to the country's revered founder Kemal Ataturk, the state Anatolian news agency said Monday.

Veysel Dalci, head of the local branch of the Justice and Development Party (AKP) in the Black Sea town of Fatsa, was charged with insulting Ataturk's memory during Sunday's ceremony marking Turkey's National Sovereignty Day.

CNN Turk television quoted Dalci, a 38-year-old pharmacist and father of two, as saying he chewed gum to hide the smell of garlic which he had eaten the previous evening.

"After laying a wreath at the monument, I noticed I had gum in my mouth. I am very sorry," CNN Turk quoted him as saying.

Anatolian said Dalci was arrested after a local army garrison commander complained to state prosecutors. It was not immediately clear what kind of penalty Dalci would face.

Showing disrespect to Ataturk, the soldier-statesman who founded the modern Turkish Republic on the ashes of the old Ottoman Empire in 1923, is a crime in the European Union candidate nation. Ataturk died in 1938.

Secularists especially revere Ataturk as the leader who banished religion from political life and modeled Turkey's state institutions on those of Europe, especially France.

The secularists, who dominate Turkey's military and judiciary, deeply distrust the AKP on account of its roots in political Islam. The AKP denies any Islamist agenda but wants to ease some of Turkey's restrictions on religious expression.

[TexasStooge]

Man kills mother, grills part of body

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) - A Japanese man has confessed to killing his mother, dismembering her body, and grilling part of it on an electric hot plate after she nagged him about getting a job, media reports said.

Yaoki Osawa, 37, was arrested Monday on suspicion of disposing of his 57-year-old mother's body improperly, police in the western city of Osaka said.

According to police quoted by Kyodo news agency, Osawa killed his mother last May by battering her head with a stone after she fell down some stairs following an argument and was unable to move.

He then dismembered her body, embedding parts like the skull in cement and grilling others over an electric hot plate before throwing them out with the household garbage, supposedly to prevent them from giving off a smell.

Asked why he disposed of his mother's body in such a way, Osawa was quoted by Kyodo as saying: "I was at a loss about what to do with it."

Osaka police confirmed that parts of the body had been encased in cement but declined to confirm other details, saying the case was still under investigation.
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[TexasStooge]

Women applaud no-men, pink-striped metro cars

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - Women commuters filled female-only, pink-striped subway cars in the Brazilian city of Rio de Janeiro on Monday on the first day of a scheme to avert groping and other unwanted sexual advances.

A law passed by the state legislature and signed by Rio Gov. Rosinha Matheus last month obliged the underground Metro and above-ground railways to have separate passenger cars for women during the weekday rush hours.

"It's the first day today and we had women applauding when men, who had entered their carriage without knowing about the rule, got off," a spokeswoman for the private Metro Rio company said.

Frequent complaints from women commuters about sexual harassment in crowded railway cars had prompted state legislators to pass the bill.

One car in every of Metro Rio's 33 trains is marked with pink stripes on doors and windows. The company said female passengers would themselves control men's entry into the cars, seeking the help of security guards if necessary.

Railroad company Supervia, which serves Rio and its suburbs, identifies its female-only cars with signs similar to those on women's restrooms.

Men won't be barred from the female-only cars during an initial phase but after that railroad police would enforce the new rule, a Supervia spokesman said.

Rio joins Tokyo and Mexico City as major cities that provide female-only train cars.

[TexasStooge]

Size matters in macho election race

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Among the crowing, slurs and insults being flung around in Mexico's election race, campaign ads in this country are even competing over which candidate has the greatest manhood.

From television spots to interviews with presidential hopefuls, you could be forgiven for wondering if the only thing that counts in this election race is size.

"We know why we are with Roberto. It's because he has big ones," says a farmer in a TV spot to promote Institutional Revolutionary Party, or PRI, candidate Roberto Madrazo, running in third place in opinion polls.

A radio ad for ruling party candidate Felipe Calderon, ranked second in polls, says the conservative is the one who could spur job creation because "he's got balls."

And Madrazo himself recently took a dig at leftist front-runner Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador's manliness after the leftist opted not to take part in a live election debate on Tuesday. "He didn't have the guts, he didn't have the manhood to be in the debate," Madrazo told a reporter.

The taunt chimes with criticism among many Mexicans of the way First Lady Marta Sahagun appears to dominate gentle-natured President Vicente Fox, whose term ends in December.

Despite a surge in women in employment in recent years, Mexico remains firmly macho and it is common to hear men boasting of their sexual prowess and using terms like "my old woman" to refer to their wives or girlfriends.

"This thing about size comes from a yearning among Mexicans for a strong president or even a strong party," said political analyst Marcela Bobadilla.

The July 2 presidential election is the first since Fox ended the PRI's 71-year rule in 2000, and tensions are running high with almost daily sniping between the three main candidates.

[TexasStooge]

Constable receives $2 million in the mail

By STEVE STOLER / WFAA ABC 8

MCKINNEY, Texas — A Collin County constable is still shaking his head wondering how and why he received nearly $2 million in the mail by mistake.

Constable Jerry Kunkle left work at the county annex Friday and went to the doctor. That's when he got one of the most surprising phone calls of his life.

"[They] said: 'Boss, we've got a check here for $1,921,000; what do you want me to do with it?' I said: 'Well, put it in my account, and I'm officially going to retire.' Just making fun. I said: 'I can't imagine where that money came from.'"

As a constable, Kunkle doesn't like bad checks—his officers arrest people who write them. But this check wasn't bad, it just came to the wrong place, and was made payable to the wrong person.

"I'm too old to do 25 or 30 years, so I thought I'd turn it over to the proper authorities."

Kunkle called the state comptroller's office to report the mistake.

"I said: 'I have in my hand a check for $1,921,000.' She said: 'Well, are you supposed to have it?' I said: 'I'm calling you to ask you if I'm supposed to have it.'"

A comptroller's employee told Kunkle to endorse the check and send it to the right people.

"I thought perhaps they'd say mail it back to us or void it or do something with it. Just don't endorse it over to someone else."

The check initially came to the right place, the Collin County Courthouse in McKinney. But it should have been addressed to the county auditor.

The money is actually from the Lone Star Program, a $4.5 million loan from the state to help Collin County reduce energy costs by 25 percent over the next five years.

Kunkle said the thought of depositing the check never crossed his mind.

"But you know what? I bet there are some folks that would indeed see if they could get away with it," he said.

The Texas comptroller's office told us they aren't sure why the check was made out to Kunkle. They told us they needed more time to get to the bottom of it.

[TexasStooge]

Iowa Deputies Seek Serial Vomit Dumper

MOUNT PLEASANT, Iowa (AP) - Sheriff's deputies in Henry County are stuck in the middle of a less than appetizing investigation. Investigators are trying to find the person who has dumped bags of what appears to be human vomit in ditches in a 1 1/2-mile area northeast of the city.

Deputy Dan Wesley said as many as 50 garbage and trash bags containing regurgitated food has been dumped over the past three years.

Bags, ranging in size from small white trash bags to large black lawn bags, have been found with only a couple of inches of the substance in them, Wesley said.

"It's pretty weird," he said. "It's pretty unusual for us ... we haven't worked anything like this before."

A sample was taken from one of the bags and sent to a private lab for analysis.

"We haven't found any DNA or anything yet," he said.

There are no suspects in the case.

"We were just hoping ... whoever is doing it will stop," Wesley said.
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Information from: The Hawk Eye
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[TexasStooge]

Pa. Woman With 97 Cents Gets $328K Home

DOYLESTOWN, Pa. (AP) - A woman pleaded guilty to fraud and other charges in what a prosecutor said was his first case in which a defendant stole an entire house.

Wendy Jean-Francois, 44, of Morrisville, pleaded guilty Monday in Bucks County Court to multiple counts of fraud, forgery and related charges.

Prosecutors said Jean-Francois sat down Oct. 5 at a settlement table at Rainbow Assurance, a mortgage title firm in Falls, with 97 cents in her bank account.

But she used two checks totaling $63,000 and a letter vouching for them, purportedly from a Wachovia Bank manager, and left with the keys to a $328,000 home, prosecutors said.

The checks turned out to be counterfeit and the letter forged, said David Zellis, first assistant district attorney. "This just boggles the mind," he said. Bucks County Judge Kenneth Biehn deferred Jean-Francois' sentencing for a mental health evaluation.

[TexasStooge]

Police See Paranormal Activity in Pub

LONDON, England (AP) - British police responding to a call about a possible break in at a pub in northern England Monday found themselves in the middle of a ghoulish riddle.

Officers arrived at the Low Valley Arms pub near Barnsley in South Yorkshire, 250 miles north of London, after being told the alarm had been set off, but instead of finding any signs of a robbery, they were faced with a shaken landlord convinced he had encountered a ghost with half a face missing in the ladies washroom.

Though they saw no ghoul_ described as a woman in flowing white gown_ officers were shocked to find toilets flushing themselves, said Inspector John Bowler of South Yorkshire Police.

Pub landlord Roger Froggat, 55, and his wife Kathryn, 49, moved in a year ago and said they had seen nothing before, despite rumors of a resident specter.

"I heard the alarm go off for a second time, went into the pub and all the television screens had turned on," the pub owner said.

"I went to check the rest of the pub and standing in the women's lavatories was a woman with half her face missing. I was petrified."

Officers found no signs of forced entry and were left quite scared, Bowler added.

Since the ghost story became public, the pub has become the talk of the town, attracting everyone from mediums to a national television film crew determined to catch a glimpse of the mystery woman should she appear again.

Despite their shock, the Froggats said they have no plans to leave their village pub.

[TexasStooge]

Cat found 8 days, 7lbs later encased in wall

By BRAD HAWKINS / WFAA ABC 8

Mike and Joanna Brown said they weren't sure if they should nickname their cat bunny or sheetrock after she was found two weeks after vanishing inside a neighboring home's walls.

Miss. Kitty was returned to the couple on Easter day, hence the nickname bunny.

Ten years ago, the Brown family found the stray cat stranded and alone in the street. Ever since that day, Mike Brown said the cat has been somewhat of a loving nuisance.

"I think she's had three eye surgeries," he said. "This has been the most expensive stray of any cat in the world, but she's worth it."

But one day the couple said the cat went missing, and over two weeks went by with no word or sign of the cat despite missing fliers displayed throughout the neighborhood.

But Brown said just as he and his wife began to lose hope, they finally heard a familiar sound while checking out a nearby under-construction home.

"...We walked through this Jack-n-Jill bathroom, and when we got right here we heard a very faint meow," he said. "...I said, 'kitty, kitty, kitty,' and the cat went ballistic. We found the cat was actually in here in this wall."

The cat had somehow found herself perched tightly on a 2X4 sealed inside a wall of the home. The contractor busted through the wall and once again was saved by the Brown family.

"He goes, 'We sheetrocked this house eight days ago," he said. "So, she had been in there for eight days and she lost seven pounds."

Brown said Miss. Kitty's experience made him a believer in the old nine lives cat tale.

"She wasted probably five of them in that house over there," he said. "She's got about four left."

[TexasStooge]

School Sends Kids to Closed Amusement Park

RENO, Nev. (AP) - Four bus loads of students from O'Brien Middle School made the four-hour trip to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, Calif., only to find the amusement park's gates locked Monday. The school-sponsored trip was supposed to reward top students.

"It was pretty much a fiasco," said Washoe County School District spokesman Steve Mulvenon. "They ended up wasting a day that those kids could have better spent in class or doing what they were going to do at the park."

School officials said the $50 fee will be refunded, and the tour company that arranged the trip has agreed to pay for the next one. "The tour company neglected to check the schedule," Mulvenon said.

"It is just a bummer for the kids," said parent Jeff Wood. "Now, they will have to wait another month to go and a lot of the kids might not be able to go then."

Principal Scott Grange said the school was even given printed tickets with Monday's date on them.

"But shame on us for not checking," he said.
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Talk about a "Manic Monday".

[TexasStooge]

Klitschko presses away stress

BERLIN (Reuters) - World heavyweight boxing champion Vladimir Klitschko said his favourite way to relax is by pressing his shirts and he regularly borrows an ironing board at hotels when travelling to unwind with an iron.

"I've never revealed this before, but the ironing board is the place I relax," he told Bild newspaper on Wednesday, four days after beating American Chris Byrd for the International Boxing Federation heavyweight championship.

"I love to iron," the 30-year-old Germany-based Ukrainian added.

"The first thing I do whenever I get to a hotel is borrow an iron. No one else ever touches my shirts."

Klitschko also said men should not worry about their looks.

"My grandmother always told me: 'If you're a man, it's enough if you look a little bit better than an ape'.

[TexasStooge]

World Cup tickets deposited in bank

FRANKFURT, Germany (Reuters) - A travel agent has deposited 12,000 World Cup tickets for Brazil matches in a vault in a German bank for safe keeping until their owners arrive for the tournament that starts on June 9.

The coveted tickets, which were transported in an armoured car to Cologne, will be kept in the vault of Sparkasse savings bank. They belong to fans who booked their World Cup travel and tickets through a Brazilian tour operator.

The fans, who will be based in Cologne, will receive their tickets upon arrival in Germany, Cologne's Tourist Board said on Wednesday.

Defending champions Brazil expect to have more than 5,000 fans based near them in their campaign to win a sixth title.

Even Brazil training sessions are a hot ticket. More than 45,000 tickets to watch Brazil train in Switzerland before the World Cup quickly sold out within hours on Tuesday.

[TexasStooge]

French to get chance to play budget minister

PARIS, France (Reuters) - Fed up with criticism that taxes are too high, France's budget minister has created a game so French people can see how it feels to be in his shoes.

They will be able to access a Web site from the end of May and play at his job for up to an hour.

"The idea is that when we cut taxes, we can't do it without creating deficits," Budget Minister Jean-Francois Cope told France 2 Television.

"In this game each French person can pretend they are the budget minister and make decisions to understand how much each (ministry's) budget costs, education spending, military spending, how it's all organised and see what kind of decision we can make when we want to cut taxes."

Cope is charged with making sure France stays within the European Union's budget deficit limit of 3 percent of gross domestic product, a feat achieved for the first time in four years in 2005.

[TexasStooge]

Chinese scientists clone mad cow-resistant calf

BEIJING, China (Reuters) - Chinese scientists have succeeded in cloning a cow with gene cells resistant to mad cow disease, the official Xinhua news agency said on Wednesday.

The birth of the 55-kg (121-lb) calf in the eastern province of Shandong comes three years after a team led by now-disgraced South Korean scientist Hwang Woo-suk cloned cows with a protein structure resistant to bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

"Scientists with the Laiyang Agro-Science Institute in Shandong said they used gene-transplant technology to introduce the genes to the calf cloned from cells of an adult cow," Xinhua said.

The research was led by professors Dong Yajuan and Bo Xuejin -- who succeeded in cloning China's first and second healthy cows in 2001 -- in collaboration with a Japanese university.

State television reported that further tests would be required on the calf as it grows to verify the effectiveness of the transplanted genes.

[TexasStooge]

Build your own Iraqi police squad for a little cash

By Mussab Al-Khairalla

BAGHDAD, Iraq (Reuters) - It doesn't cost a lot to set up your own death squad in Iraq. Military uniforms, guns and even police vehicles are easily available to all comers in the markets of Baghdad.

In a city where gangs of men dressed as police have killed dozens of people and stolen tens of thousands of dollars, anyone with a modest amount of cash can set up their own fake squad.

At Baghdad's Bab al-Sharjee market, a haven for criminals, anyone can walk into one of about 15 shops selling police and military supplies and buy a police commando uniform for 35,000 Dinars (about 13 pounds) or an ordinary police uniform for $15 (about 8 pounds).

No questions asked, no identity checks. Badges of rank from Captain to Major-General -- enough to ensure no one asks questions on the mean streets of the capital -- go for $2.

"One person came yesterday and took 12 full commando uniforms. Another took 15 army uniforms and ski masks with holes for the eyes," said Tariq, who runs one of the stores.

"I don't care who comes to buy them. As long as they give me the money, I give them the products," he said, adding the most popular items were police commando uniforms.

Although some uniforms such as a plain blue Iraqi police shirt are relatively simple for any tailor to produce, it was unclear where Tariq and others get the complicated camouflage uniforms from.

There are plenty of smaller items such as laser pointers for weapons, face-hiding ski masks, and handcuffs.

In a country awash with guns, almost every family has at least an AK-47, weapons are cheap and easily obtained.

HUGE TASK

It underscores the huge task confronting Prime Minister-designate Jawad al-Maliki as he forms a government to tackle the violence, bloodshed and crime endemic in postwar Iraq.

One of the critical tasks he faces is to clean up the Shi'ite-dominated interior ministry, which has been accused of condoning death squads who hunt down minority Sunni Arabs.

Sunnis, who have led an insurgency that has killed thousands of Shi'ites in the past 3 years, accuse the interim Shi'ite-led government of sanctioning militia 'death squads' over the past year, a charge the administration has strongly denied.

Many demand Iraq's militias be disbanded, something Maliki has promised to make a priority by drafting them into the armed forces. But the ease with which weapons and uniforms can be bought highlights how hard it will be to stamp them out.

Last year, for example, a Sunni insurgent group called the 'Army of the Victorious Sect' claimed responsibility for an attack in Baghdad using dozens of police uniforms and vehicles they said was aimed at officers of the interior ministry.

Criminal gangs have also used the uniforms of Iraqi security forces to murder and kidnap.

Head of the interior ministry's special law and order unit Major-General Mehdi al-Gharrawi said the uniforms were being used by criminals to stain the image of the ministry's forces.

"The clothes sold are bringing false accusations against us," he said. "We are people of the law, not street gangs.

"Today, the interior minister agreed to raid the stores that sell our uniforms because this must end."

He said within two weeks the police and commandos would also change their uniforms to a style that will be hard to copy, a promise they have failed to act on in the past.

Just a few kilometres from Bab al-Sharjee, at the Nahdha car showrooms, it is possible to buy the same vehicles the police special forces or ordinary police use for $12,000.

For an extra few hundred dollars, sirens and police markings can be added at the central Sinak market. Then it's a short trip to Mureydi market in the sprawling Sadr City Shi'ite slum for fake IDs.

Car salesman Abu Mohammed will sell a customer anything they want, including a range of bullet-proof cars costing up to $340,000.

"There is a possibility some people buy these cars with violent intent, but we can't go around checking after them," he says. "Our job is to sell cars and make money.

"I can get anything you can think of, even an American Humvee if the price is right."

[TexasStooge]

New York's graffiti law said to violate free speech

By Daniel Trotta

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Seven young artists on Tuesday sued New York City over its strict anti-graffiti law, saying it violated their constitutional right to free speech.

The group, backed by fashion designer Marc Ecko, argued in federal court that the city went too far by banning people under 21 from possessing spray paint or broad-tipped markers.

Gabriel Taussig, a lawyer for New York City, said the law "strikes a proper constitutional balance between the First Amendment rights (to free speech) and the need to control the long-standing plague of graffiti."

The law took effect at the start of the year.

City Councilman Peter Vallone, who sponsored the law and has sparred with Ecko over the issue, accused the designer of hiding behind free speech rights to promote his video game and brand name.

The city says its aggressive police tactics, which combat even minor vandalism to send a message that no law-breaking will be tolerated, have helped dramatically lower crime.

Vallone wants to permanently erase the image of New York in the 1970s and 1980s, when graffiti, much of it obscene, covered subway cars and many buildings.

"Graffiti is on the rise. It's becoming glorified again. We don't have the police we used to and those we have are concentrating on terrorism," he said.

Ecko disagreed: "An 18-year-old can buy cigarettes, vote, and go into the army, but he can't buy a can of spray paint in Manhattan. It's silly."

The feud between Ecko and Vallone erupted last year when Ecko launched a video game featuring graffiti art and later got a city permit for a "block party" that included painting graffiti on mock subway cars. Vallone saw it as a corporate promotion of Ecko's video game.

The suit names Vallone and Mayor Michael Bloomberg, saying they have "waged a personal war against graffiti art and graffiti artists, fuelled by their personal, subjective distaste for the art form."

(Additional reporting by Jeanne King)