Update:The story that just won't die!!! :(

[Josephine96]

Something wierd is suddenly going on with Toni and myself. I suddenly think after only a week and a 1/2.. she's tired of me and doesn't wanna be with me anymore.

Either that or her and her ex reconciled and she just doesn't want to tell me.

Here's why. I haven't heard from her since late Friday night. Saturday night, I called 2x.. 1st time got a busy signal or whatever.. 2nd time she probably had gone to bed. {phone was off or whatever}

Seems like OK no big deal so far.

Well Sunday.. called at my lunch hour, left a message.. and then I tried calling again around 8:30ish or so.. someone {don't know who} picked her phone up and I guess was either waiting for me to talk or what not. I could even hear her in the background {so I thought}

This was my plan.. 1 more call.. probably either Monday or Tuesday.. and leaving a message that simply says.. "I know you told me there are times you need your space.. you should have just said something.. This will be the last time I call you unless you call me back.. and I'm sorry if I did violate your space or if anything else has happened.. I cared for ya.. I still do and will respectfully leave you alone at the risk of hurting myself or hurting you any more than I may have already done so.." talk to you soon.. sorry for any trouble that was caused"

I don't know what I did.. but she doesn't seem to be acting right. I have this icky feeling that her and her ex reconciled and she won't tell me.

ok.. rant over.. {jumps off soapbox}

[Janice]

Well, let us put it this way. If she cared, she would be talking to you. You tried several times. Remember, she does not owe you anything. She has a life and what she does, she does not have to discuss or explain to you. I would move on.
People do not avoid other people unless there is a reason and she does not have to discuss that reason with you. She said she needed her space, right?

[O Town]

Sounds like you are going to do the right thing. I like the message you planned out sounds very respectful, and then that way its on her to make the next call. If she never calls then you know its time to move on. Sorry that it sounds like its not working out the way you wanted.

[nholley]

I think you may have nailed the problem yourself:

"I suddenly think after only a week and a 1/2.. she's tired of me and doesn't wanna be with me anymore."

She may not be tired of you but you do seem to act kinda needy. Relax, be patient....give it time. You need to let a relationship develop. After a week and a half you seem to act like you guys were married!! In the early days of a lot of relationships days can go by without hearing from someone, that doesn't mean anything. Her needing her space doesn't mean you calling twice on Saturday and again on sunday. It means back off and let her come to you.

Being excited about a new relationship is fantastic but don't ruin it by diving in with both feet.

[Pburgh]

I just would leave the ball in her court. I wouldn't call her again. If she wants to talk to you, she will call. ((HUGS))
Karan

[Josephine96]

LOL.. I do not act like we're married lol.. But I can see where everybody's points are coming from..

I agree with the fact that if she needed some space, she really doesn't need to discuss that.. I also agree with the fact that if she is avoiding me like it could be.. she has a reason and doesn't wanna say.

I also do sadly agree that it may suddenly appear that it may be time to move on. In response to you NH, Maybe I am kinda needy lol.. and those 1st few days she also seemed "kinda needy". I will just have to learn to back off.. maybe call her again in a couple days..

I also have 1 thing to take into consideration.. she supposedly broke up with her ex a little over a week ago. Hence she is still considered "on the rebound". So there is even the possibility that maybe something else happened..

Anyway.. If I keep exhausting possibilities I'll be here all day lol.. Maybe I did dive in with both feet, maybe the way she busted out of the box by telling me all these things is what made me wanna dive in with both feet.

Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be.. There could even be another reason I'm thinking but lets not go down that road here lol..

anyway.. thanks for being voices of reason. Keep the opinions coming if ya got 1.. It'll help clear my mind and probably figure out where things suddenly went wrong..

I do know I need to get some patience though lol

[Josephine96]

<<<wonders why it seems I'm the 1 who always makes the mistakes.. lol

[Pburgh]

Those aren't mistakes. They are learning experiences. You are young and excited about new relationships that's all. The only way you learn to walk is to get a few bumps and bruises when you fall down. They hurt, but they heal and also make you wiser and stronger. Hang in there. There is someone out there for you. more ((HUGS))

[Janice]

And remember, hopping from one guy to another is not a good thing. If she is doing this now, do you want to take a chance that she will continue. If you continue your relationship, do you want to risk that if you have a disagreement, that she will rush to her x? It appears she has not completely ended her previous relationship.

Any time you start up a relationship with someone, make sure they do NOT bring their excess baggage with them.....

[Josephine96]

Janice.. thank you for that point too.. Maybe her and her ex have reconciled and she decided to crawl back to him. I'll admit that I did jump in with both feet. She just came on to me.. Crying her pretty blue eyes out about what her ex did.. telling me she supposedly had her eye on me since well before she quit work at wal mart. Telling me how much she missed and wanted me.. even telling me on our 1st date how glad she was.. and even Fri. night when I last talked to her she must have told me 3x "you're so good to me.."

After doing some rationalizing.. this is what I'm gonna do.. A wait and see approach. I am not gonna call her.. wait and see if she decides to call.. if I haven't heard nothing by about Thurs.-Fri.. then I will realize what I think has already occured and I'll officially "cut the rope" and move on..I'm not even gonna bring my cell phone with me to work because then I'LL be tempted to check my messages every chance I have lol..

It's so wierd too because everyone at work always used to say.. "you and toni would be so cute together"

{jumps off soapbox with scissors to cut the rope in hand but lays them down peacefully lol}

[JTD]

John,

Reading the first paragraph in your last post really makes me think that she is still totally into her ex. It's like they had a big "I hate you fight" and she turned to you to try to console her when her heart was still with her ex. Maybe something like "I'll date another guy for a week or so just to bug him"

She probably called him this past weekend or he called her and they made up. It's like she used you.

Do you know a lot about this girl? She seems like someone that you don't want to be with.

If she calls you, then I was completely wrong but to me, I don't think she's someone that you'd be happy with I may be too cynical about her motives.

I hope I'm making sense. LOL. It's like you were someone she used for a couple days and then she totally drops you.

Does this make sense? I hope it does. Anyway, I hope everything works out for you man. You seem like a nice guy.

What do your friends think of the whole situation.

P.S: I've been hurt really bad in a couple romantic situations too so I know how you feel. Hopefully you didn't feel too invested yet.

[cajungal]

She could of just been on the rebound. And maybe she liked you but only as a friend and did not want to hurt your feelings. So, that is what some girls do, they avoid a guys phone calls. Just for them to get the message that they are not intersted in pursing a relationship. I did it plenty of times myself. I feel bad, but I had guys do the same thing to me. I was dating a guy for nearly 6 months and he never called me to tell me it was over. He just quit calling me and when I would call him, he acted like he did not want to talk. After a couple of days of that kind of treatment, I just moved on. The right girl will come along, just take it slow, become friends only with the person first, and be patient.

[beachbum_al]

I am sorry this didn't work out but there will be other woman. When you least expect it you will meet the right one. Everyone told me that when my husband and I met. I was never getting married, never going out on another date, etc. And then boom he shows up and we dated for four years, and boom we were marry. Now it is has been almost ten years since we been married. SCARY! So just hang in there and it will happen.

[Josephine96]

More points that are making sense lol..I don't wanna believe that I was used.. but maybe I was.. I don't know.. She probably still is totally into her ex perhaps, I don't know..My friends dont know yet because I haven't had the chance to talk to anybody besides you guys.

I may speak to a few of them today.

i really don't wanna believe I was used.. but it sadly in some ways, shapes, or forms makes sense. We haven't officially "broken up" but I can see the writing on the wall.. and it kinda hurts ya know..

All I know is.. I have to think rationally.. Make my decisions based on what I think as well as the advice I get from others.

I do actually plan on calling 1 more time.. but not till like tomorrow or Thursday. Just try to get some answers.. and if I don't.. oh well.. her loss, right.. lol

Besides.. as much fun as it is being in love.. I really like the single life..

[Janice]

You never know. She may have several "friends". It is easy to meet people online and maybe she is busy with several. She would never tell you.

[gtalum]

You need to relax and play it cool. IMHO you scare these girls away by coming on too strong too fast. I say this purely as advice, I'm not rag on you.

Remember, at your age relationships are about meeting people and having fun. If anything further is going to happen, it will happen all by itself. If you try to force it, you'll smother it.

[alicia-w]

relationships in the workplace are often difficult. maybe (just maybe) she got tired of hearing about the relationship from others in the store...

[Josephine96]

Ok.. here's the update.. and by the way.. Toni came on way too fast this time not me.. I had to slow her down.. theres' parts of this story I probably haven't told u lol

I have come to a decision. I feel like I have been used and abused. She came on so strong to me that I was sick enough to jump in with both feet. I have decided.. I will wait for her to call.. and when she does.. I may not even return it.

I will not allow myself to be a 3rd wheel when Toni and her ex are having a fight. I will not allow myself to be the type that just simply goes by "toni baby, did you and so and so have a fight again.. let me make u better". Uh NO!

I did a lot of toughening up today and venting frustrations as well as listening to everybody's opinions. Toni wanted somebody to console her while her and her ex were fighting. she knew I'd be there.. I fell for it.. Now I'm picking up the pieces because of it..

I am burned up.. fed up.. and quite angry at this moment. I feel like I was basically used as a rebound and then sent packing.. {I'm glad I did NOT do the 1 thing she wanted but we won't discuss that right now}

Ok rant over.. {storms off soapbox}

[Josephine96]

I just thought I'd let ya guys know I'm progressing lol.. Yesterday was my sad and depressed about what happened day. Today is my angry day lol..

My boss even goes.. "congrats you've made it to step 2" lol..

Toni doesn't wanna ever hear me if she gets the chance. She knows what I am like when I'm mad. But she doesn't know what I'm like when I'm mad because I've been hurt


No this was not a shameless attempt to bump this back up

[CajunMama]

Ok.. here's the update.. and by the way.. Toni came on way too fast this time not me.. I had to slow her down.. theres' parts of this story I probably haven't told u lol

I think it would be a good idea if you told us the whole story the next time you post a story. It's not fair to those who responded thinking that was everything thing that happened. If you want fair and honest responses you must tell the entire truth.