TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[TexasStooge]

No more navel gazing in church, priest says

ROME, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian priest is resorting to some innovative theology to rid his church of young women's bare midriffs.

"God knew what your navel looked like even before you were born, so there is no need to expose it in church," commands a sign at the entrance to the church in Cinisello Balsamo.

Guards at major churches in Italy routinely keep out people wearing skimpy attire. But Father Felice says he resorted to the signs because his parish cannot afford guards to keep out the low-cut jeans and high-cut tops, newspapers reported Monday.

[TexasStooge]

Morality police turn witch hunters

RIYADH (Reuters) - Saudi Arabia's powerful morality police is launching a witch hunt in the birthplace of Islam.

The Authority for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice is setting up special centers in all cities to "register complaints on sorcerers and charlatans, track them and terminate them," the authority's chief Sheikh Ibrahim bin Abdallah al-Ghaith told al-Madinah newspaper.

Islam forbids magic and practicing it is considered blasphemy.

Saudi newspapers often report incidents involving so-called sorcerers, mainly from the Indian subcontinent and Africa.

Some Saudis pay them vast amounts of money, hoping to uncover hidden treasures or get jobs, according to the papers.

The religious police have wide powers in Saudi Arabia, which imposes a strict version of Sunni Islam, to prevent the spread of drugs, alcohol and prostitution as well as stop unrelated men and women mixing in public.

[TexasStooge]

Barbie doll unlikely to grill steak: Canada court

By Randall Palmer

OTTAWA, Canada (Reuters) - Barbie dolls are superficial and bland and are unlikely to be confused with sizzling steaks at the independent Montreal chain of Barbie restaurants, Canada's Supreme Court ruled in a trademark case Friday.

The court also prevented the champagne house Veuve Clicquot from stopping an upstart Canadian women's clothing chain from using the name Les Boutiques Cliquot even though the stores admitted to being inspired by the French bubbly.

"There is no evidence that adult consumers would consider a doll manufacturer to be a source of good food, still less that the Barbie trademark would be understood to guarantee ... 'character and quality'," Justice Ian Binnie wrote in the unanimous decision.

He quoted a dictionary definition of Barbie doll as "a female who is superficially attractive in a conventional way, especially with blue eyes and blond hair, but who lacks personality."

"In that regard, the association of the Barbie doll with food might be taken as a warning of blandness," Binnie jibed.

Mattel Inc. relies on Barbie dolls for about a third of its global sales, with the average young Canadian girl receiving two a year.

There was no Barbie associated with Barbie's Resto Bar that it was challenging. The nomenclature appeared to stem from the fact that it was partly a bar and partly served barbecued meat -- their menu refers to the "barbie-Q."

"We would like to take this opportunity to thank our customers for their continuous loyalty during this period," Barbie's Resto Bar President Spiro Christopoulos said in a statement welcoming the judgment.

The connection between Les Boutiques Cliquot and Veuve Clicquot -- despite the extra "c" in the champagne name -- was closer.

The buyer of the stores testified she had seen an advertisement for Veuve Clicquot in a magazine and the name attracted because it reminded her of the expression "ca clique" ("this is great").

But Binnie saw little danger of confusion. "Luxury champagne and mid-priced women's wear are as different as chalk and cheese," he said.

Veuve Clicquot is owned by LVMH, the world's biggest luxury goods maker which also has the Louis Vuitton line of products.

[TexasStooge]

Jobless man seeks sympathy with rhinos

SEOUL (Reuters) - A South Korean man upset at not being able to find a job protested his plight by climbing into a zoo pen with a pair of rhinoceroses.

Police and zoo officials said Monday that the man, identified only by his family name Lee, went to the zoo in the capital Seoul over the weekend and tried at first to draw attention to himself by breaking into an enclosure housing giraffes,

Zookeepers prevented him from climbing the fence of that enclosure, but he broke free and scaled the fence of a pen housing a pair of rhinos known for having a mean streak, the officials said.

Lee spent only a few moments with the rhinos and climbed a tree in the enclosure where he remained for about four hours, shouting out to visitors about how he had lost his job and other bad breaks in life, they said.

The zookeepers moved the animals in separate pens, officials said, before police and firefighters placed mattresses under the tree and persuaded Lee to come down.

"I jumped into the cage because I've become desperate after not having found a job for such a long time," a police officer quoted Lee as saying.

Police questioned Lee and released him.

[TexasStooge]

Sorry thieves come to sorry end

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Two women who grabbed the jewelry of another woman outside a Malaysian shopping complex over the weekend were caught after they stopped to apologize to their victim, state news agency Bernama said Monday.

In the incident on the northern island of Penang, the women, aged 20 and 23, covered their victim's mouth while they apologized for taking her jewelry, saying they were single mothers who had to buy milk for their children.

But the woman screamed for help as soon as the thieves let go, and several security guards nearby caught them, the agency quoted a police official as saying.

[TexasStooge]

Man may reclaim bowling endurance title

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) - Dave Wilson spent a lot of time in the fast lane — bowling for more than four days straight in an attempt to reclaim his world record for the sport's endurance title.

Wilson, 40, of Mason, on Saturday finished the last of 481 games played over more 102 hours, 1 minute and 25 seconds. He reported bowling a 236 in one game, but it wasn't strikes and spares he was after.

The feat raised more than $13,000 in pledges from spectators, which Wilson is donating to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and the Building Blocks Foundation, which helps children with medical needs.

Wilson is awaiting official confirmation from the Guinness World Records. He held the record for about five days last June after bowling for 64 hours, 22 minutes, but a Canadian broke it by going 100 hours.

The first thing he did after he finished? Drink a Guinness Stout to celebrate.

Wilson was allowed a 15-minute break after every eight hours of bowling, according to Guinness rules, but he skipped the last break after a donor pledged $1 for every pin he knocked down after 6 p.m. Saturday. Wilson finished at about 10 p.m. and collected $1,410 from that pledge.

[TexasStooge]

After Italian holiday, Blair flies home low-cost

ROME, Italy (Reuters) - Prime Minister Tony Blair gave budget travellers a shock when he boarded their low-cost flight back to London at the end of a week-long Italian holiday.

Blair and a seven-member entourage flew from Rome on Saturday on a commercial flight with no-frills carrier Ryanair, according to Rome's Ciampino airport.

The prime minister has drawn unwelcome attention from British newspapers in the past for using more costly state flights for holiday trips abroad.

Ryanair's press office could not immediately say how much Blair paid for his ticket. The flight left the Rome airport 25 minutes late on Saturday following additional security checks.

Blair had spent the previous week relaxing in Tuscany at the estate of an Italian prince. He had also briefly met with Italy's Prime Minister Romano Prodi and had an audience with the Pope just hours before boarding his flight to London.

Showing his thirst for budget travel had its limits, Blair was met on the London airstrip by a limousine, according to the Daily Telegraph. His office declined comment.

[TexasStooge]

Dortmund in a tangle over giant scarves

By Alexandra Hudson

DORTMUND (Reuters) - Knitting frenzies ahead of the World Cup in the city of Dortmund have produced football scarves measuring 12.5 and 20 km long and a tangle over a world record.

The knitters of the longer scarf, three years in the making, have named it a "peace and friendship" scarf so as not to dash the world record hopes of the shorter scarf.

Elfriede Blees, 60, still hopes she can have her 12.5 km (8 mile) scarf, showing the flags of all 32 competing nations, registered as the longest "football" scarf in the world by the Guinness Book of Records.

"My scarf is a soccer scarf. The other one is something quite different," Blees said on Tuesday.

More than 1,000 men and women helped her knit the scarf, using around 70,000 balls of wool worth an estimated 22,500 euros (15,499 pounds).

Later this week Dortmund children will unroll the "friendship" scarf, made by 300 people from wool scraps, and it will stretch to nearby Gelsenkirchen -- another World Cup venue.

Blees' scarf will be sold in sections for charity, while the 20 km (12 mile) scarf will shortly be rolled-up again while the city decides what to do with it.

[TexasStooge]

Burials and bordellos a bad mix, Australians say

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - There's a time and place for everything, local Australian governments have ruled as they move to stop brothels opening near cemeteries.

Local governments in the northern state of Queensland have called on state authorities to establish an exclusion zone banning brothels opening within 200 metres (220 yards) of cemeteries.

It follows a decision by a council in Ipswich, just outside the Queensland capital Brisbane, to reject a proposal for a brothel to be built across the road from the local cemetery.

Ipswich Mayor Paul Pisasale told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio on Tuesday that cemeteries were places for quiet reflection by families who should not have to put up with "a brothel going on next door".

"It's totally inappropriate. There's a place for brothels and a place for cemeteries and we don't believe the two mix," he said.

[TexasStooge]

Hong Kong radio apologises for "sex assault" poll

HONG KONG, China (Reuters) - Hosts of a chat show on a Hong Kong radio station apologised on Tuesday for an Internet survey asking its listeners to vote which actress they would most like to sexually assault.

The Commercial Radio poll drew widespread criticism last week, with teachers, legislators and ordinary citizens slamming it for advocating violence against women and for corrupting youth.

"The programme hosts and co-workers publicly apologise for any offence that the Internet poll 'Which female artiste would you most like to sexually assault' caused to female artistes and everyone in Hong Kong," a message posted on the radio Web site said.

The hosts also promised to be more careful in selecting the content of its shows in future.

[TexasStooge]

Wedding nixed after bride and groom brawl

ASPEN, Colo. - This couple didn't even make it to the altar before police made them part.

Ali Aghili, 37, and Marney Hurst, 33, both of Boulder, were to be married Saturday night at the posh Little Nell Hotel.

Instead, they got into a fight the night before and police arrested them because both allegedly threw punches, said police Sgt. Steve Smith.

The wedding had to be called off because their $250 bond conditions required them to stay away from each other, Smith said. He said it took police three hours to sort out the incident.

The investigation began after police received a 911 call reporting one woman yelling at another. Police determined Hurst had been shouting at Aghili's sister, according to police reports.

___

Information from: Aspen Daily News

[TexasStooge]

Loose donkey leads to fatal wreck

ENNIS, Texas (WFAA ABC 8) - One fatality was confirmed after a donkey escaped from a farm hand and found himself on an Ennis freeway, which led to two 18-wheelers colliding Monday afternoon.

Several people were chasing the donkey on foot when it ran onto a median at FM 879 and Interstate 45.

Ennis police said a northbound truck slowed down to avoid the donkey and the farm hand when a second 18 wheeler hit the truck from behind and both burst into flames.

The driver of the second truck, Roland Bunnell of North Carolina, died.

Interstate 45 was shut down in both directions in the area of the accident while rancher Russell Hornik and his partner Rick Langer, on horses and armed with lassos, chased the donkey through traffic congested roads.

Lavonne Elam said she witnessed the donkey, which escaped while on a trip to the vet's, running in the road after she returned to Red River Machinery from a lunch break.

"I saw him in the middle of the southbound freeway and then he was starting toward the northbound," she said. "By the time I just looked up in my rear view mirror, I saw all the smoke the black smoke and the flames. So, it just happened real fast."

Police battled the flames and smoke from the accident, and the donkey defied capture for three hours.

"Hard to rope a donkey," Hornik said. "They can run real fast and move real fast on you."

Police returned the donkey to owner William Worley of Farmers Branch, who keeps the animal on land near Ennis. Worley declined to comment.

Brad Watson and Marjorie Owens contributed to this report

[TexasStooge]

Man fends off coyote, saves dog

CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. (AP) - A 75-year-old man says he saved a small dog from a hungry coyote by bashing the animal on its head with his flashlight.

Herbert Doran said he was taking his daughter's 11-year-old bichon frise, Jenna, out for a nighttime walk near his suburban home when the coyote appeared.

"I had just enough time to jerk Jenna's leash and step between them," Doran said Monday. "He tried to get around me, and I could feel him brush my legs.

"When he went down to grab her by the neck, luckily I had my flashlight and I bopped him on the head. That stunned him, and he looked at me and I shone the light in his eyes and yelled at him."

The coyote slowly backed off and left, he said.

Police found no trace of the coyote after the Thursday night episode. A police department official said he knew of no previous sightings in the village, about 30 miles north of Manhattan.

Coyotes have become more visible in the suburbs north of New York City, and one was captured in the city's Central Park earlier this year.

[rainstorm]

No more navel gazing in church, priest says

ROME, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian priest is resorting to some innovative theology to rid his church of young women's bare midriffs.

"God knew what your navel looked like even before you were born, so there is no need to expose it in church," commands a sign at the entrance to the church in Cinisello Balsamo.

Guards at major churches in Italy routinely keep out people wearing skimpy attire. But Father Felice says he resorted to the signs because his parish cannot afford guards to keep out the low-cut jeans and high-cut tops, newspapers reported Monday.

god loves everyone

[TexasStooge]

Man, 83, who killed wife denied veteran's burial

By DAN RONAN / WFAA ABC 8

DALLAS, Texas - James Roberson, the 83-year-old Dallas man who in March shot and killed his ill wife, has been denied a burial in the D/FW national cemetery, his family says.

Roberson had tried unsuccessfully to commit suicide after the murder, and had three weeks later died of brain cancer.

Burial at a national cemetery is an honor that's available to nearly all veterans.

James Roberson was a World War Two veteran.

But one sentence in a federal law, could have prevented his and his wife's burial here.

The VA's burial criteria says officials can deny burial if there's clear and convincing evidence the person committed a state capital crime, but was not convicted because of death prior to trial.

By all accounts, Roberson was a fine member of his Oak Cliff community for 60 years.

The last several years of the Robersons' lives were not easy.

She was disabled by a series of strokes that left her entirely dependent on her husband.

And in January, James Roberson learned he had terminal brain cancer.

"He adored mother. They adored each other," said his daughter Sally.

Then on April 25th, a very frail James Roberson shot and killed his wife.

He turned the gun on himself and it misfired.

Weeks later, James Roberson died of cancer.

Over the weekend, there was a joint memorial service.

But just hours before the service, family members were told by the D/FW National Cemetery they could not have their cremated remains buried together there.

Seeing Roberson's frail health, the DA's office never took the charges to the Grand Jury.

Sources say a murder conviction would have been difficult and Roberson was released from jail on $250 bond.

For the last two days, the decision whether or not to allow the Robersons to be buried together has been debated by the VA at the highest levels, all the way up to Washington DC.

The Dallas VA office recommended James Roberson not be given the honor, but it was okay for his wife.

The family says that's unacceptable.

His daughter Sally says before he died James Roberson had a final question of a family priest.

"Dad said, 'can I be forgiven?' And Father Poole said, 'James, all you have to do is ask.' And he said, 'Oh, I have done that, I certainly asked.' And he said 'you are forgiven.'"

Roberson's family believes in the eyes of God, he died forgiven.

They're asking the Veterans Administration for the same compassion. A final decision is expected shortly.

[TexasStooge]

Real body found at Fla. fake crime scene

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) - Truth proved to be stranger than fiction for a high school criminology class investigating a fake crime scene when the students discovered a real body during a field trip.

Teacher Sue Messenger had been creating mock crime scenes with fake skeletons and other evidence for more than 20 years to give students in her forensics courses a firsthand look at what crime scene investigators do.

On Monday, however, 29 students from St. Thomas Aquinas High School got more of a jolt they expected when they discovered the real body in Fort Lauderdale's Holiday Park.

"The first thing we thought was, 'That's a real good dummy she set up,'" said student Juan Cantor, 15.

"I think they kind of went into shock and disbelief," Messenger said. "What are the odds that we would be out here?"

Police on Tuesday identified the body as David Wayne Bodie, 45, a homeless man who apparently died of natural causes.

[TexasStooge]

Fake million dollar bills seized from Denton ministry

By DON WALL / WFAA ABC 8

DENTON, Texas - Gone is $8.3 billion worth of phony money, all in one million dollar bills featuring the face of President Grover Cleveland.

The U.S. Secret Service seized the fake millions from the Great News Network, a Christian ministry in Denton.

"We had to give them up, or they threatened to take us to jail," said Darrel Rundus, founder of GNN. "So,we came out here and emptied out our cupboards."

The Secret Service claimed the bills looked like real money, even though the United States doesn't make a $1 million bill.

"I think it's a travesty." Rundus said.

Rundus said he believes his civil rights and right to free speech were violated because the bills were not intended to be counterfeit.

"If someone does something nice you say, ‘Heh, thanks a million’ and they laugh," he said. "And you say, 'Heh, it's a gospel track. It has a little Christian message on the back.'”

Someone presented one of the bills to a bank in North Carolina, and a website on the back of the bill led the feds to Denton.

Novelty companies have routinely print million dollar bills featuring such recognizable icons as the Statue of Liberty and Elvis. There was even a fake $200 bill with President Bush's picture.

Rundus said that he is going to continue to pass them out, and that the courts will have to stop him.

[TexasStooge]

The naked and the dead...

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - There's a time and place for everything, local Australian governments have ruled as they move to stop brothels opening near cemeteries.

Local governments in the northern state of Queensland have called on state authorities to establish an exclusion zone banning brothels opening within 200 metres (220 yards) of cemeteries.

It follows a decision by a council in Ipswich, just outside the Queensland capital Brisbane, to reject a proposal for a brothel to be built across the road from the local cemetery.

Ipswich Mayor Paul Pisasale told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio Tuesday that cemeteries were places for quiet reflection by families who should not have to put up with "a brothel going on next door."

"It's totally inappropriate. There's a place for brothels and a place for cemeteries and we don't believe the two mix," he said.

[TexasStooge]

German TV says 1966 win a curse for England

By Alastair Himmer

BONN, Germany (Reuters) - A German television documentary has taken a swipe at England's 1966 World Cup triumph and the controversial goal scored by Geoff Hurst.

The 3-Sat channel called the 4-2 victory a "curse" for England, comparing the two World Cups and three European championships won by German teams over the past 40 years to the fact their old rivals have drawn a title blank since 1966.

Tuesday's documentary "Wembley 1966, das Original des Klassikers" showed photographs and computer-generated reconstructions it said suggested hat-trick hero Hurst's second goal, England's third, had not crossed the line.

It also quoted players from the West Germany team, including captain Uwe Seeler, as saying it was a phantom goal.

With a tone as serious as if the game had been played last week, the documentary profiled Russian linesman Tofik Bakhramov, who signalled the goal.

But German viewers had the last laugh when the programme showed a succession of penalty shootouts between the two teams in subsequent major championships, all ending in defeat for England.

[JonathanBelles]

whats a brothel?