The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Man charged with having crack in sundae

RICHMOND, Texas (AP) - This banana split was topped with something more potent than just a cherry. A motorist was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance after he was caught with two rocks of crack cocaine he had stashed in his ice cream dessert.

Oscar Martinez, 41, of Richmond, had been pulled over by police officer David Bentley late Sunday after he failed to stop at a pedestrian crossing on the campus of Wharton County Junior College.

Bentley discovered that Martinez had a suspended driver's license and an outstanding traffic warrant.

Richmond police spokesman Sgt. Lowell Neinast said Martinez told Bentley that he wished he could finish the banana split he had in his car.

When Bentley saw the melting banana split on the front floorboard of Martinez's car, he noticed that it was topped with a square-shaped object that turned out to be crack cocaine.

"One of the crack rocks was sitting right on top of the bananas," Neinast told the Fort Bend Herald-Coaster. "Once he found the first crack rock, he figured there were more inside. He emptied it out and there it was."

Martinez was arrested and charged with driving with a suspended license, a traffic warrant and possession of a controlled substance in a drug-free zone, a third-degree felony. He was released from the Fort Bend County Jail after posting an $8,500 bond, Neinast said Friday.

"I've been doing this for 20 years and I could give you all kinds of stories, but this is really one of a kind," Neinast said. "But true."

[rainstorm]

sounds tasty

[TexasStooge]

Deputy accused of exposing himself in bar

OWATONNA, Minn. (AP) - A sheriff's deputy is accused of exposing himself to a woman during a birthday party at a local bar.

Deputy Scott Ringhofer is charged in Steele County District Court with fifth-degree sexual misconduct and indecent exposure related to the May 4 incident.

According to a criminal complaint, a woman sitting at a table with Ringhofer at the party said Ringhofer exposed himself after she dared him in jest. Another deputy who was sitting at the same table confirmed the details of the complaint, according to court records.

Ringhofer, who was placed on paid administrative leave, was slated to appear in court Aug. 18.
___

Information from: Owatonna People's Press

[TexasStooge]

Fort Worth police arrest alleged bank robber

FORT WORTH, Texas (The Dallas Morning News) - Fort Worth police say they have arrested a robber who held up a downtown bank last week and escaped by entering a Western wear store and buying new clothes before hopping a bus out of downtown.

The suspect, identified by police as 37-year-old Donovan Page, was nabbed after police said he robbed the Compass Bank at 300 W. Seventh St. about 1 p.m. Tuesday.

A bicycle officer responded to the robbery and updated the description, which was radioed to all downtown police personnel, including bike officers, mounted patrol and traffic control technicians. One of the traffic control technicians, Luther Perry, saw the suspect walking toward the Intermodal Transportation Center and radioed bike officers that he was watching the suspect.

Mr. Page attempted to flee the ITC when bike officers responded, but he ultimately gave up and was taken into custody.

"Today, he didn't have the opportunity to buy any new duds," police Lt. Dean Sullivan said. "And in this case, the cowboy didn't ride away. He was transported to jail."

[TexasStooge]

If you thought the Bouncing Burglar story is good, here's a much similar one:
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Beer burglar's snoring leads police to him

BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - A burglar who broke into a small grocery shop in northern Thailand was caught after he hid under the store owner's bed, drank a few beers and started snoring, police said.

The robber broke into the grocery in Uthai Thani province, 125 miles north of Bangkok, in the middle of the night, stole a few beers and quickly sought cover when he heard the owner of the shop stirring, police Capt. Prasert Hiewchawna said Wednesday.

The robber made a bad situation a bit worse by choosing to hide under a bed in the shop — the same bed that the owner was sleeping on at the time, he said.

While waiting to flee, the robber drank a few of the stolen beers, passed out and started snoring so loudly that he woke up the shop's owner, who quietly called police.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Drunk driver nearly blew up engine

BALDWIN PLACE, N.Y. (AP) - A drunken driver passed out at the wheel of his van in a parking lot and unknowingly floored the accelerator for so long that the smoking engine nearly blew up, authorities said.

William Collins, 37, from Mahopac, was charged with driving while intoxicated Tuesday after police found him slumped inside his van outside a gas station.

Sgt. Joseph Lutz of the state police said troopers came upon the smoking van and noticed Collins asleep at the wheel, his foot on the gas.

They tried to awaken him, without success. They smashed a window, with one of the troopers cutting his hand and having to get stitches.

Lutz said he did not know how long Collins had been passed out, but it put a scare in the troopers. "By the time the troopers responded, the guy's engine was about to blow up," Lutz said Wednesday.

Collins posted $500 bail and was released to a family member. He is due in court July 11.

[TexasStooge]

N.H. police warn of chubby beach flasher

RYE, N.H. (AP) - Police are warning of a male flasher on the beaches of Rye.

They're responding to a report that a woman was flashed at Odiorne State Park on Friday, and have noted that the flasher's description — a white male, about 55, with a chubby belly and gray chest hair — is similar to that of a man who exposed himself to beachgoers last year.

That man has not been caught, though last year a woman reported being fondled by a flasher at Odiorne Point.

Police say reports of the flasher — who uses underwear to mask his face — have been sporadic through the years

[TexasStooge]

Fake drill sergeant chases real naked man

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (Court TV) - When an Ann Arbor, Mich., man decided to run naked down the street to prove a point to his reluctant girlfriend about the importance of taking risks, he was unaware of just how big a risk he was about to take.

The man, whose name has not been released, was allegedly chased by another man with a gun, according to Lt. Khurum Sheikh of the Ann Arbor Police Department.

"This was not a typical case," Sheikh said. "It was a compound of strange things that just kept getting worse."

According to Sheikh, the man and his girlfriend were in their apartment discussing marriage. The girlfriend said she didn't feel ready to tie the knot, according to Sheikh, and her boyfriend replied that taking risks is an important part of life. To demonstrate his point, he hopped naked out their first-story window.

Down the block, the alleged gunman, who later told police he was an Army drill sergeant, was walking a friend home when the naked man spotted them. The would-be fiancé hid in the bushes to avoid being seen, Sheikh said.

But the alleged gunman saw him and chased him down the street.

"He was probably thinking this person was up to no good," Sheikh said. "I'm sure it looked suspicious."

After the alleged gunman fired into the air to show he was serious, a resident called police to report a gunman chasing a naked man down the street. Officers arrived and arrested him.

No one was hurt, Sheikh said.

The alleged gunman does not appear to be in the Army and also has no permit to carry his .40-caliber gun, Sheikh said. Police said there was no explanation as to why he was armed and why he claimed to be a drill sergeant. He was arrested and held at the county jail on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon.

The naked man was not arrested and suffered no major injuries.

[TexasStooge]

Thief likely injured in wire theft

By Sky Barsch / Burlington Free Press Staff Writer

VERMONT - Vermont might have a candidate for a Darwin Award after a thief broke into an electrical substation in Rutland on Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning and cut a live wire, causing a flash of electricity so intense that it turned the strip of copper wire into liquid and caused unknown -- but likely serious -- injuries to the crook.

Darwin Awards, for the unfamiliar, "salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways," according to its Web site.

The incident follows a rash of wire thefts in the state. The thefts are on the rise nationally as copper becomes more expensive and fetches a higher price for scrap or resale, according to a news release from Central Vermont Public Service, which owns the Rutland substation, Green Mountain Power and the Vermont Electric Power Co. Each has been a victim of wire theft in recent weeks.

Central Vermont spokesman Steve Costello pointed out that most thieves go for large spools of wire that are not in use and are worth thousands of dollars, not 18-inch strips connected to live power equipment. The Tuesday night incident netted the thief or thieves less than $60 worth of copper, Costello said.

"This is really an incredibly risky maneuver," Costello said. "To go into a substation is risky enough, but to literally cut wires in there is a roll of the dice."

Costello said it appears that one or more people cut a hole in the fence at the South Rutland Substation and began cutting 12- to 18-inch pieces of wire, which come out of the ground and are attached to pieces of electric equipment. Eventually, the thief hit the live wire.

"I'd be very surprised if the person wasn't injured in some way," he said. Power was temporarily interrupted Wednesday as Central Vermont crews worked to repair the damage.

The incident damaged a voltage regulator, causing about $10,000 to $12,000 in damage, Costello said.

Investigating Vermont State Police Trooper David Sutton said he had no leads Wednesday afternoon, and he was visiting local businesses in an attempt to find surveillance video that might show some clues. He said he checked with the local hospital but there was "no report of anybody showing up with burns or injuries of that sort."

Sutton said he couldn't say whether the thefts were drug-related.

The three electric utilities are offering a $5,000 reward for the arrest and conviction of those responsible for the recent thefts.

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Vermont State Police in Rutland at 773-9101.

[TexasStooge]

Taste for crime brings alleged thief to Subway

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (Gainesville.com) - After he snatched a woman's dinner of two foot-long Subway sandwiches Monday, one skittish robber didn't even get to sample the freshly made subs.

That's because Alachua County Sheriff's deputies say the 16-year-old boy, arrested on a charge of robbery by sudden snatching, tossed the tuna and cold-cut subs on wheat bread in nearby woods after stealing the subs from an unsuspecting woman who had bought them for dinner.

The teen reportedly came up to the 47-year-old woman as she left the Subway restaurant at 5839 SW 75th St. at 8:20 p.m. and grabbed the subs that she bought for $9.12, deputies said. The robber and a friend then took off running into nearby Arredondo Estates, where the teen lives, Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Keith Faulk said. With the help of a witness, deputies were led to the teen's house and arrested him after the victim identified him in a photo lineup. The teen reportedly told deputies he stole the subs as a prank, but that he was afraid he'd be caught, so he tossed the subs during his frenzied escape.

As for the uneaten subs? "I don't think the lady would've wanted them back after all that," Faulk said.

[TexasStooge]

Bandits strike Kool-Aid stand

By ROBYN STUBBS, VANCOUVER 24 HOURS

VANCOUVER - Who knew running a successful Kool-Aid stand in False Creek would be such dangerous business?

Three kids, aged 14, 13 and 12, were quenching the thirst of passers-by near the entrance to Granville Island late Sunday afternoon when two men, aged 19 and 20, started trouble, said Vancouver police Const. Howard Chow yesterday.

The pair threatened the kids, told them they had a gun, and then punched one of the young entrepreneurs in the face before helping themselves to a cooler full of Kool-Aid Jammer, said Chow.

"This is the ultimate in desperation when they knock over Kool-Aid stands," he added. "The kids were trying to drum up business, and these two guys came along and thought they would cut in, I guess."

The suspects, both from Vancouver and well known to police, were arrested soon after the low-blow attack.

No names have been released and charges are pending against the man who threw the punch.

[TexasStooge]

Burglar's haul is clean T-shirt

BY BETH HUNDSDORFER / Belleville News-Democrat

BELLEVILLE, Ill. - Police aren't sure whether a man really liked the shirt or appreciated the springtime freshness of clean laundry.

Whatever motivated him, police said Dwight L. Mann, 22, of 7701 W. Main St. in Belleville, kicked in a basement door of a home and took -- a clean T-shirt.

A resident of a home in the first block of North 78th Street in Belleville spotted a man standing in his back yard about 6:30 a.m. on Sunday. Another neighbor told police he spotted a man matching the description running through nearby backyards, police reports stated.

A Belleville patrolman found Mann crouching behind a trash bin and returned him to the home for identification, the report stated.

The victim identified Mann. Then the victim identified the T-shirt Mann was wearing -- it was the victim's shirt and he had just laundered it.

Further investigation revealed the basement storm door was open and glass in the heavy door was shattered, lying on the concrete.

Mann was charged Tuesday with felony counts of residential burglary and criminal trespass to a residence. He could face up to 15 years in prison.

[TexasStooge]

Get "Drunk 'n Stupid, Vol. 89185037"
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Man arrested for theft, forgery after trying to buy drinks with bartender's checkbook

STATESBORO, Ga. (Court TV/AP) — A 21-year-old man was arrested after trying to buy drinks with a checkbook he found at a bar. Unfortunately, the checkbook's owner was one of the bartenders serving him.

Jody Brian Minor was arrested on theft and forgery charges early Saturday morning, Statesboro Police Detective Terry Briley said.

He was "extraordinarily intoxicated," Briley said.

Minor was at Dingus Magee's bar when he found a checkbook and began paying his tab with it, Briley said. One of the bar's employees realized the checks belonged to fellow bartender Hubble Beasley, who called police.

Briley said Minor's father has paid the delinquent $129 bar tab.

[TexasStooge]

Sleeping burglar arrested

SHREVEPORT, La. (KTBS ABC 3) - A suspected burglar in Shreveport did not have sweet dreams today.

The man, suspected of burglarizing several cars parked on an East Shreveport neighborhood street, was found asleep this morning in his own car -- at the scene of the crimes. In the car were items taken during the break-ins, police said.

It happened near the intersection of Fairview and Cornwell.

All of the burglarized cars had been left unlocked overnight. Police said the burglar went through them and stole CDs, checkbooks, sunglasses and cigarettes.

Neighbors found the suspect asleep in his car. Police arrived, woke up him up and arrested him.

"Stupid people do stupid things," said Jon Huddleston, who found the man. "It's kind of hard to believe he'd go to sleep on the crime scene."

The suspect's name had not been released as of Tuesday morning.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Report was a tall tale

MERRILLVILLE: Gary man faces false informing charge

Northwest Indiana Times Staff Reporters

MERRILLVILLE, Indiana - An 18-year-old Gary man Monday told police he was just joking when he called in a report of two people dumping a body behind a gas station off U.S. 30 and Broadway.

Police aren't amused, Merrillville police Detective Lt. Dan Toth said.

Cleveland Young, who police said admitted he made up the story, faces a false informing charge, a Class A misdemeanor, Toth said.

Toth said about six to eight police officers were dispatched to Speedway on the afternoon of May 25 after the department received an anonymous tip from someone on a cell phone about a body being dumped there by two men.

He said the caller described at length the two men, the vehicle they were driving and the direction they had taken after leaving the scene.

Police took the call seriously and spent a good deal of manpower checking out a false report, he said.

The caller's identity was determined by checking phone records.

"He acknowledged he made the call and said he did it as a joke and wouldn't do it again," Toth said.

[TexasStooge]

Police Find Marijuana In Fold Of Fat

OMAHA, Neb. (WCAU NBC 10/AP) -- Talk about a pot belly!

Police in Omaha, Neb., report finding a man's pot stash hidden in a roll of stomach fat.

Officers said they stopped the 5 foot 8 inch , 250-pound man because his car was blocking traffic.

According to authorities, when an officer smelled marijuana in the car, he searched the man and found a baggie of the illegal weed.

The man was ticketed on suspicion of possessing less than an ounce of marijuana and obstructing traffic.

[rainstorm]

Deputy accused of exposing himself in bar

OWATONNA, Minn. (AP) - A sheriff's deputy is accused of exposing himself to a woman during a birthday party at a local bar.

Deputy Scott Ringhofer is charged in Steele County District Court with fifth-degree sexual misconduct and indecent exposure related to the May 4 incident.

According to a criminal complaint, a woman sitting at a table with Ringhofer at the party said Ringhofer exposed himself after she dared him in jest. Another deputy who was sitting at the same table confirmed the details of the complaint, according to court records.

Ringhofer, who was placed on paid administrative leave, was slated to appear in court Aug. 18.
___

Information from: Owatonna People's Press

if she dared him, whats the problem?

[rainstorm]

Bandits strike Kool-Aid stand

By ROBYN STUBBS, VANCOUVER 24 HOURS

VANCOUVER - Who knew running a successful Kool-Aid stand in False Creek would be such dangerous business?

Three kids, aged 14, 13 and 12, were quenching the thirst of passers-by near the entrance to Granville Island late Sunday afternoon when two men, aged 19 and 20, started trouble, said Vancouver police Const. Howard Chow yesterday.

The pair threatened the kids, told them they had a gun, and then punched one of the young entrepreneurs in the face before helping themselves to a cooler full of Kool-Aid Jammer, said Chow.

"This is the ultimate in desperation when they knock over Kool-Aid stands," he added. "The kids were trying to drum up business, and these two guys came along and thought they would cut in, I guess."

The suspects, both from Vancouver and well known to police, were arrested soon after the low-blow attack.

No names have been released and charges are pending against the man who threw the punch.

the kids should have been armed

[TexasStooge]

Highway robbers show leap of inspiration

BEIJING, China (Reuters) - Beijing police have detained a gang of thieves who pulled off a high-speed, highway heist straight out of a Hollywood action movie.

Police patrolling a Beijing freeway saw several people "surfing" on top of a van as it pulled alongside a truck loaded with cargo, the Beijing News said Friday.

"The men leapt from the van onto the truck's trailer and started throwing back bags of a white-colored substance" into the moving van, the paper said.

After several kilometres, the men leapt back on to the van and sped away. Police later intercepted the van, the thieves and a one-ton cache of polyethylene, used originally in making hula hoops, worth more than 10,000 yuan ($1,250).

The newspaper did not say how the thieves managed to grab their loot undetected by the driver.

The polyethylene grab was not the first of its kind -- police have reported several incidents of leapfrog larceny on Beijing's highways in the last couple of years.

[TexasStooge]

Bank manager, girl friend's robbery bid foiled

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - New Zealand police said on Friday they had arrested a bank manager who had tried to rob his own bank with a gang of thieves that included his lover.

A gang of three armed bandits charged into a bank in Auckland, New Zealand's largest city, Tuesday dressed in balaclavas and overalls.

They held staff at gunpoint and tried to make off with NZ$65,000 ($40,000) but two of the robbers were arrested at the scene after passers-by reported the robbery to police.

The third bandit escaped but police said questioning of the robbers in custody soon revealed that their accomplice was in fact the bank manager's girlfriend.

The New Zealand Herald reported Friday that the pair were later arrested at the bank manager's home.

"There was never any doubt that it was an inside job," New Zealand police spokesman Jon Neilson said.

All four have appeared in court on robbery charges.