The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Man says he's on heroin to avoid jury duty

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - A man made a mockery of the justice system when he tried to get removed from a jury pool in a death penalty case by claiming he is a heroin addict and a killer, a judge said.

Benjamin Ratliffe, 21, of Columbus, was charged with contempt of court and obstruction of justice and ordered to spend a night in jail.

Ratliffe filled out a questionnaire form for potential jurors and professed to having a "bad jonesin' for heroin." When asked if he had ever fired a weapon, he wrote, "Yes. I killed someone with it, of course. Right."

Ratliffe doesn't believe in the death penalty and wanted to be excused from the trial, said his attorney, Scott Weisman.

The potential jurors were being screened for the trial of Quarran S. Covington, who is charged with aggravated murder in the slayings of two Georgia men in May 2005.

In court, witnesses said, Ratliffe shrugged his shoulders when questioned by Covington's attorney and refused to answer any questions seriously.

On Thursday, Ratliffe apologized to Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Julie M. Lynch, who had ordered him to jail the day before.

"He didn't try to defend his responses, and he lied under oath and he was insubordinate," said Lynch, who ultimately removed Ratliffe from the jury pool and dismissed the charges against him. "You do not make a mockery of the process."
___

Information from: The Columbus Dispatch

[TexasStooge]

Boy Scouts foil arson attempt in Calif.

CHINO, Calif. (AP) - Maybe the Boy Scouts should start handing out arson prevention badges. A group of Scouts preparing for a camping trip spotted a 17-year-old boy setting fire to a museum building, yelled at him and chased him and two female companions into the street Sunday morning, according to a police statement.

The three flagged down a passing motorist and tried to climb in his vehicle, but an adult Boy Scout leader caught up to them and held the boy until police arrived.

The boy, who was determined to be drunk, was booked into San Bernardino County Juvenile Hall for investigation of arson and attempted carjacking.

The Old School House Museum suffered minor damage, said Chino Valley Fire District Battalion Chief Gaul.
___

Information from: Inland Valley Daily Bulletin

[rainstorm]

the boy scouts are great

[TexasStooge]

Man makes himself at home in woman's trailer

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (Court TV) - One Florida woman was just trying to do a good deed, but instead got the shock of her life when she found an unfamiliar houseguest lounging inside her friend's Florida trailer.

When Vicki Mixon went to turn on the air conditioning in Sue Balkcom's mobile home in Panama City Beach, Florida, she was startled to find a man wearing red swim trunks resting in an armchair in the living room.

Mixon believes Michael Carl Lindsey broke into Balkcom's mobile home using a spare key and then made himself comfortable. He ate, watched TV, cleaned up, showered and even took a nap.

"He set up residency, so to say," said Major David W. Humphreys Jr. of the Panama City Beach Police Department.

But once the uninvited house-sitter saw Mixon enter the trailer, he jumped out of his seat and swiftly ran for the door.

"He said 'I'm sorry,' and bolted," said Mixon. "He grabbed his plastic grocery bag and I chased after him."

Though Mixon didn't catch him, Lindsey made it simple for the police to find him. He allegedly broke into another mobile home and left behind his wallet, which contained his social security card.

In Balkcom's trailer, Mixon said that Lindsey helped himself to hot dogs, hamburgers, and a bag of Doritos.

Mixon added that Lindsey was a tidy intruder, and even washed Balkcom's dishes. He also carried his own ashtray into the smoke-free trailer.

"The shower was the one thing he didn't clean up," said Mixon. "We don't know what towels he used because they weren't dirty. He may have washed them."

Lindsey was arrested and charged with burglary.

"He was a very neat man, and the police say he was very respectful," said Mixon. "He said to them that he was just a little down on his luck."

[TexasStooge]

Police searching for pressure cleaner thief

BY IDY FERNANDEZ / The Miami Herald

BROWARD COUNTY, Fla. - The Broward Sheriff's Office is searching this morning for a man officials say has struck the same lawn equipment store twice in the last two months.

The man first drove up to the rear of Seavey Lawn Equipment, 1813 State Road 7, on May 31 in a white pick-up truck with a blue hood and loaded a $1,000 pressure cleaner into the truck's bed with the help of another man, said Hugh Graf, a BSO spokesperson. The man then returned with a woman on the afternoon of June 20 and loaded another $1,000 pressure cleaner into his truck, Graf said.

Anyone with more information should contact Crime Stoppers at 954-493-TIPS. A cash reward of up to $1,000 may be available for anonymous information leading to an arrest, Graf said.

[TexasStooge]

Police Chase Man On Mini-Motorcycle

LAKE CRYSTAL, Minn. (WCCO CBS 4/AP) - After a day of celebrating this southern Minnesota town's Duck Days, a 42-year-old Lake Crystal man led sheriff's deputies on a goose chase.

His getaway vehicle: a five-horsepower mini-motorcycle.

A call came in last week reporting that a man had wiped out at a downtown intersection.

By the time Blue Earth County Sheriff's Deputy Jeff Wersal responded, the man had driven off. He refused to pull over, so the deputy pursued him through a parking lot to a street.

The man drove at 25 miles per hour. Wersal pulled alongside him and yelled at him to stop. He didn't. So Wersal pulled in front of the bike and the chase slowed to about ten miles per hour. But the man kept going.

Finally the deputy fired his Taser out his squad window, got out of his squad car and pushed the man off his bike.

The bike had no tail light or license plate.

Charges are pending.

[TexasStooge]

Lawnmower driver arrested for DWI

ST. CLOUD, Minn. (KARE NBC 11/AP) - A St. Cloud man has been arrested for allegedly driving while intoxicated - on a riding lawnmower.

St. Cloud Police said they got a call just before 11 p.m. Tuesday of a severely intoxicated man, Karl Thompson, driving a riding lawnmower through several neighbors' yards, and up and down the street.

Police said they found Thompson passed out on his lawnmower in a neighbor's driveway.

The 24-year-old registered a blood alcohol level of 0.21 percent, nearly triple the legal limit of 0.08, police said.

Thompson is being held on second-degree DWI charges, and police seized his lawnmower due to prior DWI convictions.

[TexasStooge]

Embezzler busted for posing as Brad Pitt

DUBAI (Reuters) - A salesman tried to fleece a money exchanger in the United Arab Emirates by using an identity card bearing the picture of Hollywood heart-throb Brad Pitt, a local newspaper reported Thursday.

The Gulf News said the 29-year-old Jordanian had been told by his brother, who worked at the Dubai money exchange, that more than $23,000 in cash had been transferred to the bureau for a client who had not picked it up for more than three months.

The Jordanian then forged an ID using the client's name and a picture of Pitt. He hoped his brother would then be able to hand over the cash and keep a photocopy of the fake ID as record of the transfer.

The man, who was arrested on a tip from an informant, told police when he was caught that he did not know whose picture he had downloaded from the Internet. The Dubai prosecutor's office has charged the man with forgery and attempted embezzlement.

[TexasStooge]

Compulsive Pa. shopper gets 27 months

ALLENTOWN, Pa. (AP) - A woman accused of embezzling more than $1.5 million from a credit union and buying more than 1,500 items including hundreds of pairs of shoes, handbags, a $60,000 swimming pool and gambling trips to Las Vegas was sentenced Tuesday to 27 months in prison.

Betty Jean Barachie, of Kunkletown, bought 58 coats, 16 chain saws, a $25,000 John Deere tractor and more than 3,000 books, piling most of the items in her home with the tags still attached, said Dr. George Perovich, an Allentown psychologist. "She was a compulsive shopper and was one of the most extreme cases I'd ever seen," he said.

Barachie acknowledged stealing money from the Northampton-Carbon County Federal Credit Union, where she worked, from 1995 to 2003. She pleaded guilty in October to charges of embezzlement and filing a false federal tax return.

Still, U.S. District Judge Eduardo C. Robreno chastized the U.S. attorney's office for failing to prosecute others allegedly involved in looting what was believed to be millions from the credit union, which became insolvent and was forced to close in September 2004. "You have a small fish here. Where are the big fish? No one else has been charged with a parking ticket in this case," Robreno said.

[TexasStooge]

Man could go to jail for writing off-color remark on check

BERKLEY, Mich. (AP) — The parking fine was $10. But the comment Robert Militzer added to the check could land him in jail for 30 days.

The computer programmer from Allen Park got the ticket May 29. When Militzer wrote the check to Berkley District Court, he scribbled on the memo line, "BULL (expletive) MONEY GRAB."

That got Militzer an in-person court appearance -- on a contempt of court charge. He's scheduled to go before a judge Wednesday, accompanied by an American Civil Liberties Union attorney who will argue Militzer's remark is protected by the First Amendment.

Militzer, 38, was ticketed for parking in front of a friend's house overnight. He said he obeyed signs prohibiting parking between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. during previous visits, but the signs weren't there the morning he was cited.

"I thought they were gaming me, collecting fines without giving people a fair chance to avoid it," Militzer told The Detroit News. "If the sign had been there, I knew what the law was. I would take my lumps and move on."

Militzer said he realized the off-color notation "didn't solve anything." But, he added, "It let them know I felt they were being unfair."

Richard Eshman, Berkley's public safety director, said Militzer could have requested a hearing to argue against the ticket. "There's an avenue for protesting that kind of thing," he said.

ACLU lawyer Elsa Shartsis said Militzer's "choice of words may not be the best, and it may offend some people, but it's not illegal."

[TexasStooge]

Tricked out of $40?

By ANNE JUNGEN / La Crosse Tribune

LA CROSSE, Wisc. - A La Crosse man was cited for soliciting a prostitute after he called police dispatch and demanded his money be refunded when the woman did not perform a sexual service.

Leslie Beach, 36, of 526 S. 16th St., Apt. 3, was fined $159 for the solicitation, according to La Crosse police reports. Beach told responding officers that he had a learning disability and that a woman named Victoria had taken advantage of him. He told police that Victoria said she would have intercourse with him for $40, reports said.

Beach asked Victoria for his money back after the two did not have intercourse, reports said. She refused to refund the money but told him she would spend the night at his apartment. She later left, and Beach called police.

Beach did not know Victoria’s last name or contact information, but said he would call police if she returns, according to the report.

Police Lt. Bob Berndt said he does not remember the last time police issued a ticket for prostitution solicitation in the city.

[TexasStooge]

N.H. police warn of chubby beach flasher

RYE, N.H. (AP) -- Police are warning of a male flasher on the beaches of Rye.

They're responding to a report that a woman was flashed at Odiorne State Park on Friday, and have noted that the flasher's description -- a white male, about 55, with a chubby belly and gray chest hair -- is similar to that of a man who exposed himself to beachgoers last year.

That man has not been caught, though last year a woman reported being fondled by a flasher at Odiorne Point.

Police say reports of the flasher -- who uses underwear to mask his face -- have been sporadic through the years.

[TexasStooge]

Investigators identify 'Enormous Ears Bandit' in third bank robbery

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. (Court TV/AP) — Bank robbers apparently don't have an advocacy group protesting such insulting law enforcement monickers as the "Overweight Bandit," "Big Nose Bandit" and "Oldtimer Bandit."

The latest is the "Enormous Ears Bandit," who is targeting banks as far away as San Diego and has apparently struck the Central Coast area for a third time.

The bandit got away with about $3,000 from a Bank of America branch in Montecito on Wednesday. After looking at surveillance video, investigators said it was the work of the crook the FBI dubbed "The Enormous Ears Bandit." He's wanted in six other robberies.

The robber on Wednesday handed a demand note to a teller and ordered the cash to be in $50s and $100s, police said. No weapon was seen.

[TexasStooge]

Panicked teen jumps from train

By Mac Daniel, The Boston Globe Staff

ASHLAND, Mass. - When he realized the MBTA commuter train he was on was an express and not stopping at the Wellesley Hills station where he was bound, a 15-year-old from Ashland said he panicked and jumped off the train yesterday when it was traveling between 25 and 30 miles per hour.

A somewhat chagrined, stitched, and very bruised Jake Todaro said his unscheduled exit in Natick from the eastbound Framingham-Worcester commuter train was the result of a brain freeze.

``I wasn't really thinking," said Todaro, who was treated and released from Children's Hospital getting stitches in his forehead, between his nose and upper lip. He also broke a pinky finger. ``I just panicked. I don't drive yet and I'm not used to being in places I don't know."

Todaro said he took the plunge after the conductor said the train was running express to Back Bay from Natick. He landed feet first, he said, and then rolled on the gravel a few feet from the moving train.

Todaro admitted what he did was stupid, but said the conductor did not tell him anything about how to get back to Wellesley from Back Bay. He also blamed the train's intercom system, which T officials said announced the express train, but which Todaro said he could not hear.

``I heard it and I have no idea what they were saying," he said.

Todaro said he got on at Framingham to go to his Wellesley summer job, which he declined to discuss. He usually takes a later train, but instead got on a train that makes all local stops between Worcester and Natick, then goes express to Back Bay, past Wellesley Hills.

An unidentified female conductor on the train told T officials she encountered Todaro in the train's vestibule near the steps and asked him for his ticket. When he told her he wanted to go to Wellesley, she said she told him it was an express train.

``He proceeded to get upset and asked me to stop the train," the conductor said in her statement to MBTA Transit Police. After asking Todaro to step inside the train, she said she began collecting fares when she heard the vestibule door slam.

``She turned around and he was gone," said MBTA spokesman Joe Pesaturo. The conductor then radioed the engineer and activated the emergency brake after being told by a passenger that the teen had jumped from the train.

Asked if he would do it again, Todaro replied: ``Are you serious?"

[TexasStooge]

Burglar suspect gets careless, leads to his arrest

By Kate Sullivan Foley / The Stoughton Journal Correspondent

STOUGHTON, Mass. - A burglar’s carelessness led to his arrest last Tuesday following a home break-in on William Kelley Road. Efforts by the homeowner and a neighbor helped police quickly confirm the suspect’s identity and had a cruiser waiting for the man when he arrived back at his Holbrook residence.

Michael Henderson, 28, of 202 Weymouth St., was arrested by Holbrook Police and charged with breaking and entering during the daytime for a felony and wanton destruction of property valued at more than $250.

According to police, Henderson had been going door to door in the William Kelley Road area asking for signatures on a petition. When residents answered the door, he told them he was collecting signatures to stop excessive building in Stoughton. His scheme, police said, was to break into the houses where no one appeared to be home.

When someone didn’t come to the door at one home, Henderson allegedly broke in through a window near the front of the house. The window, police said, was under the cover of some shrubs.

While Henderson was inside, the resident arrived home. Entering the house, the resident saw a white male exiting the sliding door. The resident called 911 at 4:27 p.m. to report a break-in. After calling police, the homeowner headed to a neighbor’s home.

Outside, the homeowner noticed a gray Ford Taurus parked near the back of the home. The neighbor, who was able to get a good description of the suspect, wrote down the car’s registration number. At some point before police arrived, the suspect got into the car and fled the scene.

Inside the home, officers found the notebook the suspect had been using to collect signatures. The suspect’s name was written inside of the book.

"In his haste to flee, he apparently dropped his notebook," said Stoughton Police Sgt. Paul McCallum.

The name written in the notebook matched the name on the registration of the car. With Henderson confirmed as a suspect, Stoughton Police contacted Holbrook Police, who had a cruiser waiting for the man when he arrived back home.

Henderson was taken into custody by Holbrook Police. Stoughton Police Officer Phil McEnany went to Holbrook to question Henderson and subsequently brought the suspect back to Stoughton to face charges in the incident.

[TexasStooge]

Man spends night in jail after lying to escape jury duty

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Benjamin Ratliffe tried so hard to get out of jury duty that he found himself in jail.

Ratliffe, 21, of Columbus, was ordered to spend a night in jail after claiming he was a heroin addict and a killer during jury selection for a death-penalty case.

Ratliffe filled out a questionnaire for potential jurors and professed to having a "bad jonesin' for heroin." When asked if he had ever fired a weapon, he wrote, "Yes. I killed someone with it, of course. Right."

On Thursday, Ratliffe, who charged with contempt of court and obstruction of justice, apologized to Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Julie M. Lynch.

"He didn't try to defend his responses, and he lied under oath and he was insubordinate," said Lynch, who ultimately removed Ratliffe from the jury pool and dismissed the charges against him. "You do not make a mockery of the process."

[TexasStooge]

Letter carrier keeps mail at her apartment

BERLIN, Germany (AP) - A German letter carrier hoarded nearly 2,000 letters at her apartment, refusing to deliver them because she felt physically overwhelmed by her job, police said Friday.

The 26-year-old, who worked for a private mailing company, squirreled away 1,900 letters over six months at her home in the southern town of Erlangen.

An acquaintance discovered the missing mail, collected in big containers, when he went to the apartment to feed the woman's rabbit. He alerted police.

Some of the letters were delivered to their addressees, but most had to be returned to their senders.

The woman could face charges of embezzlement.

[TexasStooge]

Drive-thru pot smoke gives pair away

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) - A pair of pot smokers picked the wrong day to use the drive-thru window at a KFC restaurant in Buffalo. Two men in their 20s pulled up to the restaurant's window and asked for the Wednesday special.

Meanwhile, a couple of narcotics detectives were inside ordering their food. That's when a cloud of marijuana smoke wafted into the restaurant. The detectives then spotted the two men smoking what one of the cops called "the biggest marijuana cigar your ever saw."

The detectives went outside and arrested 23-year-old Charles Morris and 26-year-old Gregory Quick, both of Buffalo. The two men were charged with possession of marijuana and smoking it in public.

One of the cops said he got the cashier to refund the pot smokers' money for the Wednesday special.

[rainstorm]

Letter carrier keeps mail at her apartment

BERLIN, Germany (AP) - A German letter carrier hoarded nearly 2,000 letters at her apartment, refusing to deliver them because she felt physically overwhelmed by her job, police said Friday.

The 26-year-old, who worked for a private mailing company, squirreled away 1,900 letters over six months at her home in the southern town of Erlangen.

An acquaintance discovered the missing mail, collected in big containers, when he went to the apartment to feed the woman's rabbit. He alerted police.

Some of the letters were delivered to their addressees, but most had to be returned to their senders.

The woman could face charges of embezzlement.

i hope she goes to prison

[TexasStooge]

Man prefers jail to being at home with grandpa

ROME, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian man escaped from house arrest and begged police to put him in jail because he could not bear living with his grandfather, his lawyer said Monday.

The 30-year old, who could only be identified by his initials A.M., had been placed under house arrest for six months in the Sardinian town of Sassari after a scuffle with a policeman.

But he escaped, and Sunday showed up at a police station in the northern city of Genoa, asking them to arrest him and put him in a cell.

"He said he could not face staying with his grandpa anymore," defense lawyer Pietro Bogliolo told Reuters by phone.

The lawyer said he did not know what the problem between the two was. "It's probably irreconcilable differences," he said.

A Genoa court however ruled Monday that A.M. should return to his grandfather's house and spend an additional two months and 20 days there because of his escape.

Saturday, a Sicilian man also asked police to put him in prison rather than have him confined to his house, saying he did not have enough money to buy himself food. He later returned to house arrest after police gave him food supplies for a few days.