What do you do with....

[sunny]

a jealous co-worker? She is driving me CRAZY. No one can be told they are doing a good job because she gets her feelings hurt and throws a fit. If her "best friend" comes to talk to you, she throws a fit. My nerves are really on edge right now anyway and I just CAN'T handle this today.

[Tstormwatcher]

Talk to your boss about it.

[sunny]

Boss knows about it - she just don't want to hear about it. It's not even 8:00 yet and she and I have already exchanged words.

[Miss Mary]

Cindy - you watch The Office and laugh your butt off!!!! Did you catch the two reruns last night? Forgot to remind you.....

Anyway, sigh - huge sigh. I don't know what the answer is. My motto is usually "take the high road". Is that road easy to take - no! Is it heavily traveled - doesn't seem so at times, no traffic jams.

I say - kill her with kindness and behavior you wish she'd demonstrate. A fake job - yep, but in the end perhaps you'll be teaching by example?

When I took my job this past January, I was warned repeatedly about one specific employee, watch out, she has a nasty side, etc. Well, I just decided to say hello to her, each morning, the same way I said hello to the other 9. I just kept smiling and saying - hi Diane, how are you today? Finally, she began saying my name and with a smile. Turns out she wanted the manager's job, out of seniority and it was given to an outside person (who worked at another school). So she has a grudge, but not towards me. She's even told me personal things and we worked 2 registers side by side for a month. Each day I'd tell myself, okay I know this lady is a witch, but she hasn't been a witch towards me (yet) so I just killed her with kindness. From my perception - it worked. We even exchanged phone numbers at the end of the year and she was hestitant to put hers down, thinking it would be a drink fest get together. I could tell she didn't want to do that so I just quickly said - hey, we don't have to hit the race track, we can shop or have lunch sometime (all of us)!

She added her name and phone number to my list.

I've had lots of experience faking it with my mom I guess. Not that she's so awful to deal with but a real challenge, so I just pretend she's nice to all around her.

Otherwise if I spent time thinking about how awful people can be, it drives me insane.

So, that said - become an actress Cindy! That's my advice anyways. You will not change her, not in a million years.

Just don't stoop to her level.

Mary

[Janice]

Just ignore her and continue doing your job. There is one in every workplace. You are not alone. As long as you are doing your job, let her have her little fits. The higher ups can see what is going on too. Don't let these people affect your work. If she has a problem, it is her problem, not yours. The more fits she throws, the closer she gets to the front door.....

[sunny]

Thanks Mary and Janice - you guys are right. I should have just turned away when she threw the papers on my desk. I just gave her a reason to play the victim...

[george_r_1961]

Cindy best thing to do with someone like that is simply ignore them, as hard as it might be. Bosses do not react well to employees arguing in the workplace so make sure the only voice your boss hears is hers. Good luck with that! As Janice says theres one like that in every workplace.

[Miss Mary]

Yep, ditto on - one in every workplace. I'll add - family, neighborhood, circle of friends possibly, nearly every group you associate with, there seems to be someone with a grudge, who's envious.....

Why can't people just be nice? Sigh......

At least you might feel better venting with us Cindy? Hope so.

Hang in there - it's a holiday weekend. Focus on that!

[sunny]

I do feel better venting Mary. Better than making a spectacle of myself here. Normally I would let it roll of my shoulders, but I've got things going on right now....which is part of her problem. I had to stay last night to help my boss with something, she knew I wanted to get to the hospital and thanked my profusely for staying with everything going on. Hence the fit this morning....

[petal*pusher]

I agree with Miss Mary....don't let her anger at everyone else feel like it is directed at YOU! I'd throw her a smile every now and then!

Nobody knows challenges each of us face AWAY from work....perhaps there's a lot of burdens she is carrying. A friendly face might just work wonders! (And everyone will guess what you're up to!!).....p

[Lindaloo]

Cindy, you know I just went through this with one of the drivers here. I kept taking it and taking it. But, look what happened? lol. She will get exactly what she deserves all by herself. Then you can sit back and laugh about it.

[Swimdude]

When a co-worker of mine is making me upset, I just push them in the pool... But I'm guessing it's probably not that easy huh?

[sunny]

lol - swimdude! Nah, can't do that. I took the advice offered here and by Friday afternoon she was being nice to me again. So I just let it go.

Thanks y'all for letting me vent and giving me advice that worked!

[Janice]

Remember, many people are very insecure. They feel they have nothing to bring to the table and use their attitude and mouth to get attention. Just ignore them. As long as you feed into their negative behavior, they will not stop. Just ignore them, maybe give them a smile or small laugh as you pass by to let them know you could care less. Kill them with kindness. Once they realize they are not getting the attention they demand, they will taper off or go on to someone else who will baby them. Just do your job and let management deal with them.

[alicia-w]

if you file a formal complaint with your boss, he/she has to address it. that way she is counseled on her behavior and it is documented. if she doesnt change, then there are vehicles for her termination. no boss should allow something like that in the work environment.