The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[rainstorm]

yikes

[TexasStooge]

Speeding fine? Just switch the road sign

LONDON, England (Reuters) - British motorist John Hopwood concocted a novel scheme to avoid payment when he was given a speeding fine -- simply switch the road signs.

Hopwood, 44, had been snapped by a speed camera breaking the 30 miles per hour limit.

So he went to a 40 mph area, removed a red "40" warning sign, drove back to the 30 mph area, attached it to a lamp post and took a photo as "proof" that his offence of driving at 48 mph had not been so bad.

However, suspicion soon arose when other drivers started querying the sign.

"This was a stupid act, bound to fail," Judge Anthony Ensor at Manchester Crown Court was quoted by media as telling Hopwood, who admitted trying to pervert justice.

He was ordered Tuesday to serve an intermittent custodial sentence of 28 weeks which requires him to spend his weekends behind bars and told to pay 2,763 pounds in legal costs.

[TexasStooge]

Thief takes the sparkle out of July 4th

OLD FORT, N.C. (AP) - Independence Day would not have its usual bang in this North Carolina town this year after someone stole about 250 pounds of fireworks.

"It's kind of disheartening that someone would do that, and they did it at the last minute, so we couldn't get any to replace them," said Garland Norton, mayor of the town of about 1,000 people. "So we had to cancel it."

The $3,000 worth of fireworks were stolen Monday from the Wastewater Treatment Plant, where they were held in an overseas-type metal shipping container.

"All they left was what we would use for the grand finale — about a minute's worth of fireworks," Norton said Tuesday evening. "They knew what they were doing. They got the better stuff."
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Information from: The Asheville Citizen-Times
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This just goes to show you: crime never takes a holiday.

[TexasStooge]

Diaper theft leads to 2-hour standoff

By BRAD HAWKINS / WFAA ABC 8

DALLAS, Texas - Two suspects are being held on suspicion of stealing baby formula and diapers from a Dallas CVS early Wednesday morning.

Police were forced to surround the Fox Hill Apartments after the suspects refused to emerge.

The standoff lasted two hours, during which time a four-year-old, two 18-month-old babies and a newborn were handed over to police.

"I was in there sleeping and the next thing we know, we look outside and the police are everywhere," said babysitter, Erica Bradley.

An officer had noticed the suspects' car outside the apartment building, located about a block from the drugstore.

Inside the car, police found the stolen formula and diapers.

"Both suspects were taking baby products, and they had placed them in bags and were walking out the store," said Lt. Rick Watson.

The suspects may not face shoplifting charges but more serious robbery charges, as they said they had a gun and were prepared to shoot. A gun was never produced, however.

[TexasStooge]

A tissue of lies leads to jailbreak...

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - Police were searching on Thursday for three prisoners who broke out of jail after one of them convinced an officer to open the cell door by asking for toilet paper.

The three were among five prisoners who broke out of a courthouse holding cell in Maroochydore, near the Queensland state capital of Brisbane. Two were recaptured almost immediately.

Police said one of them had asked a female officer for a roll of toilet paper but the solid cell door had no hatch and had to be opened to hand the paper in.

It was then the prisoners inside made a run for it.

"It was an old-style door and a prisoner asked for a roll of toilet paper, and it couldn't fit under the door," Queensland Police Commissioner Bob Atkinson told reporters.

"It could well have been a matter that was avoidable and subject to human error," he said.

Two police suffered minor injuries during the incident.

Less than a month ago, another prisoner escaped from Queensland police custody after an officer let him out of a car to have a cigarette.

[TexasStooge]

Woman jailed for mouse-in-soup scam

NEWPORT NEWS, Va. (AP) - A woman who tried to extort money from the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain by putting a dead mouse in a bowl of soup was sentenced to a year in jail.

Carla Patterson, 38, and her 22-year-old son, Ricky Patterson, sought $500,000 from the chain after claiming they found the rodent in the vegetable soup the woman ordered at a Newport News restaurant on Mother's Day weekend in 2004.

A jury convicted the Pattersons of conspiracy to commit extortion in April. The Pattersons maintained their innocence, but evidence included tests showed the mouse had not been cooked and had not drowned but instead died of a fractured skull.

Carla Patterson wept Wednesday as a judge imposed the jail sentence and a $2,500 fine. Defense lawyer Michael Woods said Patterson plans to appeal.

Ricky Patterson's sentencing, which had been scheduled for Wednesday, was postponed until Sept. 14. He is at Virginia Peninsula Regional Jail in Williamsburg after pleading guilty to forgery in an unrelated check-fraud case.

[TexasStooge]

Man Claims Bank Robbery was for Humanitarian Work

PROVO, Utah (KSL NBC 5/AP) -- A man charged arrested in connection with a Provo bank says he stole the money to help a humanitarian group trying to eliminate hate.

The twenty-two year old man was arrested Monday in Lehi.

Police say he walked into a Far West bank and took a hunting rifle out of a bag, demanding the bag be filled with money, or a girl would die and a church would be burned down.

Police say after arresting the man, he told them he is a member of a humanitarian group that assigned him to rob a bank. He said the money was to help fund the group's efforts to end hate in the community.

The man was booked into the Utah County Jail for investigation of aggravated robbery. He'll appear in court July 12th.
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Information from: Deseret Morning News

[TexasStooge]

Police say man stole from Target, sold in parking lot

REBECCA BLUE / Herald Staff Writer

MANATEE, N.Y. - A man authorities say committed retail theft two days in a row was arrested Saturday afternoon after he tried to sell an item in the store's parking lot, according to a Manatee County Sheriff's Office report.

James Bochicchio stole a car stereo from Target, in the 6100 block of 14th Street West, around 2 p.m. and was trying to sell it to people in the parking lot, according to affidavits signed by witnesses.

Bochicchio was arrested and transported to the Manatee County jail on a charge of dealing in stolen property and a charge of retail theft.

[TexasStooge]

'Gno' more gnome at Ironwood library

By DIANE MONTZ / Globe Staff Writer

IRONWOOD, Mich. -- A summer visitor to Ironwood has been rudely stolen from his shady home in a stump on the grounds of the Ironwood Carnegie Library.

Tom Acorn, a gnome, took up residence in a small stump shaded by evergreens near the ramp to the rear entrance of the library more than a week ago.

"Monday, I went out and he was gone. I'm so devastated. I just can't believe it, library director Elaine Erickson said today. "We had put out a little plastic box with pencils and paper, and that was gone, too."

Erickson reported Acorn's arrival in late June. A rolled-up note tucked in a hole at the base of his stump asked people to write to him.

The gnome received only one note before he and his home were stolen.

Erickson said she waited to report the missing gnome to police in case someone on the library staff had moved Tom Acorn and his home out of the rain over the weekend.

In a note introducing himself, Acorn wrote:

"I have moved here from the north to get warm. I am the only one of my kind that has moved here.

"...I have built my home in the bushes next to a building. Lots of people come out of it everyday with books. Therefore, I am guessing it is some sort of book depository."

Acorn wrote that he was lonely. He can speak only with magical folk, he wrote, adding that he can read English and has a friend who wrote a note for him.

"My home has a special place for notes -- it is a hole at the bottom. Please write to me," he concluded.

A couple en route to Mackinac Island to be married left a note dated June 29.

"We are asking for any gnome advice and counsel (because we have heard gnomes are very wise creatures) for a long-term happiness and love as a married couple ... We await your sage advice."

The note was signed, "THE MN LOVERS," who wrote only their initials, GM and RWG, in a heart.

Anyone who knows of the whereabouts of Tom Acorn and his stump home can call the library at 932-0203. Erickson said she wants the library visitor back, no questions asked.

[TexasStooge]

Teen accused of breaking stepdad's leg

PORTER TOWNSHIP, Ind. (NW Indiana Times) - Porter Township resident Ronald Rockwell, whose 17-year-old stepson got arrested on an underage drinking charge Saturday morning, tried talking to the boy, then decided to wash his mouth out with soap because he cursed, police said.

Police said the teen resisted, so his mother retrieved a belt. Police said the teen began shoving his mother, so Rockwell intervened. But police said the teen got into a struggle with Rockwell and broke his leg.

The teen, who family members said had a history of shoving family members and damaging their Goodview Drive home, was taken to the Juvenile Detention Center.

The teen and two others were arrested on alcohol charges earlier Saturday morning after they crashed at Alene Drive and Division Road.

[TexasStooge]

Espresso thief guilty to the last drop

By Katie Liesener/ Daily News Staff

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. -- A man who attempted to steal a $1,200 espresso maker from a Wayland Starbucks on Tuesday pleaded guilty yesterday to the theft in exchange for probation.

Louis M. Guido, 42, of 73 Lubec St., Boston, appeared in Framingham District Court yesterday to be arraigned on charges of larceny over $250. Guido pleaded guilty, and as part of the plea was sentenced to one year of probation and fined $1,000 plus court costs.

The case against Guido's alleged accomplice, Karen Campbell, 36, also of 73 Lubec St., Boston, was dismissed.

Guido took the boxed DeLonghi Magnifica Espresso Machine from a number of espresso machines sold at the store from $300 on up, while Campbell occupied the supervisor at the counter, police said.

Campbell, who was "kind of attractive, somewhat of a flirt," was paying for a purchase with a gift card while Guido nabbed the machine, partially concealed behind a store display, said Detective Sgt. Patrick Swanick.

After Guido came over and whispered something in Campbell's ear, she went out one door while he carried the box out the side door, Swanick said. Store supervisor Paul Noyhovich ran outside and confronted Guido in the parking lot, saying he was going to call police.

"He's the one who deserves a gold star," Swanick said. "He was very alert to what was going on. He felt she was trying to keep him distracted."

Guido dropped the machine in the parking lot and he and Campbell peeled off in a brown Ford pickup truck. Police stopped and arrested the two at 2:33 p.m. as they drove north on Rte. 27.

After they were arrested, Guido tried to protect Campbell.

"When they came in (to the station) he said it was all him, that she had nothing to do with it," Swanick said.

"(Guido) claims that he didn't know (the espresso machine) was worth so much money," Swanick said. "He said he wanted to be able to make his girlfriend some coffee in the morning."

The store manager said Guido couldn't have targeted a pricier piece of equipment.

"They took the most expensive item we can sell," said Noyhovich, 24, of Natick. "It's a really nice machine. They should definitely go to jail."

[TexasStooge]

When burglars fall from trees...

ZAGREB, South Africa (IOL) - A thief, attempting to flee a house he burgled by climbing down a tree, fell from the branches in front of the feet of police officers, the Jutarnji List daily reported on Monday.

The burglar gained access to the house late on Sunday by climbing a tree standing next to it and prying the window open.

However, the owner of the house heard a noise and called the police.

The thief tried to make his way back down the tree with the spoils - a laptop - but lost his footing and fell when the police arrived and called to him to halt.

The burglar, who has 50 prior crimes, was detained by the police.

[TexasStooge]

Alleged Ice Cream Thief Caught Eating Cone

CHERRY HILL, Md. (WBAL NBC 11) -- A suspected ice cream thief was easily caught by authorities - she was sitting behind a convenience store counter eating the ice cream.

Harford County woman Cynthia Tykson Donovan, 47, was arrested last week at High's convenience store. Sheriff's deputies responding to a store alarm found Donovan sitting behind the cashier's counter eating an ice cream cone.

She was charged with second-degree burglary, theft, and malicious destruction of property over $500, the Cecil Whig reported.

Cecil County Sheriff's Sgt. Dennis Campbell said a large rock was used to shatter the store's front door.

[TexasStooge]

Burglar Caught With His Pants Down

Firefighters found the 52-year-old burglar stuck in a rooftop vent with his pants below his knees.

MERCED (AP) - A suspected burglar was caught with his pants down as he tried to wiggle out of a rooftop air vent above a smoking accessory shop.

It took firefighters two hours to cut Leland Thomas Nicholson, 52, from the vent Friday at Smoking Jay's before police could arrest him, Sgt. Roger McIntyre said. His pants were around his knees.

Nicholson was arrested on suspicion of burglary, possession of burglary tools and trespassing.

Police were called to the store after a neighbor reported that a trash bin had been pushed up against the building.

Nicholson was being held Monday in the Merced County Jail in lieu of $15,000 bail.

[TexasStooge]

You May Now Arrest the Bride

Court TV

Adrienne Samen, 18, allegedly drank so much on her wedding day in Connecticut that she wound up shouting at the restaurant employees at her reception before storming out. When police arrived, she cursed them and gave them the finger, and when they put Samen in the police cruiser, she allegedly bit the cop who tried to place a seat belt on her. She was charged with criminal mischief and breach of peace and was released after posting bail.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/bridereport1.html

[TexasStooge]

Argument over last beer ends with robbery

SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) - A man ended an argument over who drank the last beer by robbing the man he was fighting with early Thursday, Syracuse police said.

Ronald Zimmerman was charged with first-degree robbery, second-degree criminal possession of a weapon and first-degree criminal use of a firearm.

Terell Martin, 20, was drinking with Zimmerman at about 3 a.m. when the two men began to argue about the last beer.

Zimmerman pulled a handgun on Martin and went through his pockets, taking cash and a cell phone, police said. Martin claims that Zimmerman then struck him on the ear with the handgun, causing the gun to fire.

Martin called police and Zimmerman drove away.

Police recovered a bullet from the hallway wall.
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Information from: The Post-Standard

[TexasStooge]

Hearse driver fined for speeding

DUBLIN, Ireland (Reuters) - An Irish hearse driver has been fined for speeding -- while leading a funeral cortege.

Police ordered undertaker John Carr to pay an 80 euro ($102) fine and gave him two penalty points for driving at 69 km/hr (43 miles/hour) in a 50 km/hr zone.

Several other vehicles in the cortege -- on its way to a funeral in County Donegal, northwest Ireland -- were also fined and their drivers threatened with prosecution if they did not pay.

Hundreds of people were caught in the same area during a police crackdown last month, including parents taking their children to school.

"I've never heard of a hearse being done for speeding before. I supposed I'll probably have to pay the fine," The Irish Times newspaper quoted Carr as saying. "I'm not too worried about the points because I intend not to incur any more."

[TexasStooge]

Police nab "Catch Me If You Can?"

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - An Australian woman nicknamed the "Catch Me If You Can Thief" appeared in court Friday charged with 34 counts of fraud after she was arrested with more than 100 fake identities and wigs.

Jodie Harris, 28, wanted in three states over a string of audacious identity thefts, had been on the run for years, taunting police to try and catch her.

"We've been waiting for her for some time," Magistrate Les Brennan told Sydney's Central Local Court as Harris was led into the dock Friday. "I knew she would turn up some day," he said.

A pregnant Harris was arrested by police in Sydney on Thursday in a "sting operation" involving a police officer believed to be her former boyfriend.

Local media have dubbed Harris the "Catch Me If You Can" thief, after the movie in which actor Leonardo DiCaprio played a master conman. She allegedly telephoned detectives, taunting them and offering up false promises to surrender.

"She has been pursued for a long time. She has come close to being arrested for sometime," New South Wales (NSW) state police detective Grant Taylor told reporters.

Police told the court that since July 2005, Harris had assumed the identities of at least five women in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne after meeting them socially.

She allegedly stole identity documents such as driver's licenses and tricked bank staff into giving her access to the women's accounts, robbing them of more than A$250,000 (US$185,000), local media reported from the court.

Harris' charges only relate to offences allegedly committed in NSW and police in Victoria state say they will seek her extradition after she faces the NSW charges.

Harris made no application for bail and was remanded in custody to face the same court on Aug 1.

($1=A$1.35)

[TexasStooge]

Thieves' ATM heist goes up in flames

MILWAUKIE, Ore. (Court TV) - The prospective thieves thought they had all the right contraptions to pull off their Independence Day heist: a cable winch, truck tie-down straps, a trailer, a Mack dump truck, and a 27,000-lb. tractor called a front loader.
But as it turned out, all those tools and vehicles couldn't help the would-be robbers with their haul — an entire ATM machine.

As they pulled the ATM away from the wall of Clackamas Community Federal Credit Union in Milwaukie, Ore., on June 4, police say, the burglary went awry. The straps securing the ATM to the front loader snapped.

And it just got worse from there.

"They tried to use the bucket of the front loader to scoop up the ATM," said Milwaukie police spokesman Officer Kevin Krebs.

"They ended up pushing the ATM into the bank lobby, where they couldn't get to it."

The disgruntled thieves finally gave up, torched the front loader, abandoned the trailer, and fled. They also left behind the dump truck bumper and its license plates.

The stolen red dump truck, intended to cart the ATM, was later found in northeast Portland. It had been set on fire and had a soda vending machine in the back.

According to police, the suspects used the dump truck, with the attached trailer, to transport the front loader to the credit union. The front loader had been reported stolen from a construction company on June 28. It was recovered on June 29, but stolen again on June 30.

"They went through a lot of trouble to get this stuff," said Krebs. "But I don't think they thought it through."

Though it might seem unusual to see large construction vehicles cruising down Main Street, Officer Krebs said a massive construction project is located a block away from the credit union.

"Nobody is going to think much if they see a front loader in the area," said Krebs. "It isn't going to make anyone think, 'This is strange.'"

Two suspects were seen fleeing the scene on foot, but authorities suspect more were involved. Anyone with information about the robbery attempt can contact the Milwaukie Police Department at (503) 786-7500.

[TexasStooge]

BIRD BITE SNAGS BURGLAR

LONDON, England (World News Australia) - Police have traced a man suspected of stealing a parrot from a British pet shop after the bird bit him.

Micky, a moody macaw with a vicious temper was taken from a pet store in Somerset and hasn’t been seen since.

The blue and gold parrot bit a chunk out of the burglar, drawing enough blood for the police to get a DNA sample.

A 23-year-old man has been charged with burglary and animal cruelty offences and has appeared in court.

Angus Hart, 45, who owned Micky for 10 years, said he was not surprised that Micky lashed out.

"He's a miserable old git to be honest with you," Mr Hart said. "He doesn't talk much but he can be quite cute and cuddly when he wants to be.”