"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[TexasStooge]

Skinny models wearing thin in fashion shocker

By Andrew Hay

MADRID (Reuters) - The world's first ban on overly thin models at a top-level fashion show in Madrid has caused outrage among modeling agencies and raised the prospect of restrictions at other venues.

Madrid's fashion week has turned away underweight models after protests that girls and young women were trying to copy their rail-thin looks and developing eating disorders.

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You can never be too thin while on a modeling career.
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Spanish police embarrassed by porno film

MADRID, Spain (AP) - Spanish police officers settling in for a video presentation on how to get promoted to sergeant were instead shown footage from a hard-core pornographic film, officials said Tuesday.

Howling laughter rippled through the auditorium where 120 Madrid city police officers had gathered Monday to see the video on operations at an academy where they are to study, the Madrid regional justice and interior ministry said.

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Uhhhh.....OOOOOPPPSS!!!

[TexasStooge]

Can you hear me now?

BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - They are calling it the "crossed legs" strike.

Fretting over crime and violence, girlfriends and wives of gang members in the Colombian city of Pereira have called a ban on sex to persuade their menfolk to give up the gun.

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OK, what does sex have to do with the famous phrase on those "Verizon" commercials?
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Farmer over the moon after cow gets jump start

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A prized cow that lost a leg in a farm accident in Australia may soon be walking back on all four hooves after medical experts offered to help its owner find an artificial leg.

Farmer Geoff Heazlewood began the search for a new leg for his breeding Jersey Theresa two months ago after the cow fell down a river bank and broke its leg, forcing vets to amputate the limb between the knee and ankle.

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Thumbs up!
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TV soap on mud disaster set to air

By Achmad Sukarsono

SIDOARJO, Indonesia (Reuters) - A noxious mudflow from near an exploratory oil well in Indonesia is the backdrop to a new TV soap opera -- and it has the backing of the very company under fire for the disaster.

The 13-episode love story is being backed by PT Lapindo Brantas, the local firm operating the well in East Java province.

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"Like beer through a redneck, so flows the White Trash Days Of Our Lives" (from "Blue Collar TV")
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Drivers give helmeted cyclists less room?

TORONTO (Reuters) - Motorists give greater leeway to cyclists who do not wear safety helmets, according to a study by a academic in Britain who was hit by traffic twice as he rode his bike to carry out his research.

Researcher Ian Walker from the Department of Psychology of Britain's University of Bath found drivers were up to two times more likely to get close when passing cyclists wearing helmets than when overtaking bare-headed pedalers.

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I hate to think what would happen if it was the other way around...

[TexasStooge]

Milan fashionistas fear Spanish skinny model ban

MILAN (Reuters) - Italy's fashion capital is in a tizzy over a ban on overly thin models at Madrid's fashion week, fearing it could be next with its own catwalk extravaganza less than two weeks away.

Milan's mayor, Letizia Moratti, told a newspaper this week that she may bring the Spanish ban on underweight models to Italian shows.

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I said it before and I'm-a say it again, you CANNOT be too thin while on a fashion modeling career.
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Crafting guns into guitars

By Patrick Markey

BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - Polished rosewood and an artist's deft touch are all Colombian craftsman Luis Alberto Paredes needs to turn tools of death into symbols of hope.

One of Colombia's top musical instrument makers, Paredes has branched out from traditional methods to fashion electric guitars from shotguns and AK47 rifles once used by fighters caught up in the country's lingering guerilla conflict.

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Talk about "Music as a Weapon".
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Widow rented rotary phone for 42 years

CANTON, Ohio - A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.

Ester Strogen, 82, of Canton, first leased two black rotary phones — the kind whose round dial is moved manually with your finger — in the 1960s. Back then, the technology was new and owning telephones was unaffordable for most people.

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"Ms. Strogen, you've had that rotary phone for 42 years. We like to have it back now."

[TexasStooge]

I'll be home for Christmas...

VICTORIA (Reuters) - Criminals and lawyers in the Seychelles islands are conspiring to delay court cases so the felons can enjoy Christmas before serving their sentences, a top judge said Friday.

"Why rush to prison when you can delay the process and celebrate Christmas in freedom first?" the islands' chief judge Vivekanand Allear told Reuters.

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Why do you think I'm staying away from crime?

[TexasStooge]

Village elders order trial by boiling oil

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - The leaders of a village in the Indian state of Rajasthan ordered 150 men to dip their hands into boiling oil to prove their innocence after food was stolen from a local school, a newspaper reported Sunday.

In late August the school's principal informed police that rice and wheat had disappeared but no action was taken, the Sunday Express said.

The council, or panchayat, of Ranpur village, 340 km (210 miles) south of state capital Jaipur, then decided to take the law into its own hands.

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I think I'll skip lunch there.
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Fawlty Towers relaunched - without mad manager

By Paul Majendie

LONDON, England (Reuters) - The hotel that inspired the cult British television comedy series Fawlty Towers is relaunching after a makeover -- but guests will be spared rants by the rudest hotelier of all time.

John Cleese was prompted to write the classic 1970s series with his then wife Connie Booth after staying with the cast of Monty Python's Flying Circus at the Gleneagles Hotel in the western English resort of Torquay.

Cleese called hotelier Donald Sinclair "the most wonderfully rude man I have ever met" after they were berated for their table manners and had a timetable thrown at them when they asked the time of the next bus to town.

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Excellent! If I can afford it, I might take the family along and try it out...or will I? (j/k)
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Fashion boss rejects bid to ban thin models

By Paul Majendie

LONDON, England (Reuters) - One of the main backers of London Fashion Week Sunday rejected British government calls for a ban on wafer-thin models as the fashion industry faced a furor over its catwalks.

"Outright bans and indeed legislation is definitely not a route we want to go down," said Marks and Spencer chief executive Stuart Rose, who is chairman of the British Fashion Council that is organizing the event which starts Monday.

He was responding to a plea from Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell for London to follow Madrid's example and ban skinny models.

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Coming soon to the New CW Network, "America's Next Top Annorexic", followed by "America's Next Top Bullimic".

[TexasStooge]

Guards to be placed 'Vomit Comet'

ASPEN, Colo. (AP) - Aspen partygoers, beware. Transportation officials have voted to hire a security firm to patrol the bus station and late-night buses on Fridays and Saturdays that commonly have to take drunken passengers home from Aspen. The bus service on those nights has been inauspiciously dubbed the "Vomit Comet."

"Due to people being pretty intoxicated, things can get out of hand every once in a while," said Roaring Fork Transportation Authority CEO Dan Blankenship.

The transit authority must spend about $21,000 per year to deal with unruly drunks on buses, the transportation authority concluded Thursday.

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I certainly wouldn't wanna ride in a bus with a bunch of drunks wanting to start a BARF FEST.
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Hiker travels Appalachian Trail barefoot

BOILING SPRINGS, Pa. (AP) - More than 500 people hike the entire Appalachian Trail, which runs from Maine to Georgia, each year. Ron Zaleski has been trying to accomplish the feat barefoot. His goal is to bring attention to the need for combat veterans to receive counseling.

"In the beginning I thought, 'I gotta do this to show how tough I am. I want to be famous,'" he said at a recent pause to eat some pecan ice cream. "Now I just want to help these kids."

Zaleski, a retired health-club owner from Flanders, N.Y., said other hikers tend to stop complaining about the weight of their equipment or sore feet when they see him.

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By then, he's gona feel like Fred Flintstone.
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Man sets sights on eye-popping record

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) - Claudio Paulo Pinto is looking to break an eye-popping record. Literally. Pinto can pop his eyeballs out of their sockets at least 7 millimeters (0.3 inches), a national record for eye-popping according to RankBrasil, an organization modeled after the Guinness Book of World Records that lists Brazilian records.

A former driver, Pinto got a job scaring visitors in a commercial haunted house in Belo Horizonte, 210 miles north of Rio de Janeiro. But he recently was laid off, and now he seeks international recognition for his ability.

"I was measured by an opthamologist on television in January. I could pop my eyes out 7 millimeters," Pinto said by telephone Saturday. "Since then, my capacities have improved over 50 percent."

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Now I've "seen" it all...
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Suspect flees after fatal holdup

By CYNTHIA VEGA / WFAA ABC 8

DALLAS, Texas - Dallas police said a man was killed during an overnight robbery in the 2100 block of North Carroll Ave.

The victim, identified as Carl Smith, 42, was shot in the head.

The gunman drove away in a white utility truck, crashed into a utility pole about a block away at Munger Ave., and fled on foot.

The crash knocked down utility lines and cut power to the neighborhood.

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W-w-w-wait, so he shot someone, tried to drive away, but ended up hitting a utility pole, knocking power out in his neighborhood...it was as if he planned it.

[rainstorm]

BOILING SPRINGS, Pa. (AP) - More than 500 people hike the entire Appalachian Trail, which runs from Maine to Georgia, each year. Ron Zaleski has been trying to accomplish the feat barefoot. His goal is to bring attention to the need for combat veterans to receive counseling.

"In the beginning I thought, 'I gotta do this to show how tough I am. I want to be famous,'" he said at a recent pause to eat some pecan ice cream. "Now I just want to help these kids."

Zaleski, a retired health-club owner from Flanders, N.Y., said other hikers tend to stop complaining about the weight of their equipment or sore feet when they see him.

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what if he steps on a snake?

[TexasStooge]

X-rated font used on third-grade handout

MONROE, N.Y. (AP) - School officials apologized after an X-rated font was used on a third-grade spelling packet handed out to parents. The font showed male and female stick figures in provocative poses to form the letters of the alphabet.

Officials with the Monroe-Woodbury School District in Orange County apologized last week after parents at Pine Tree Elementary School were given the spelling packet at an open house.

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(As a Drunk) "A, Z, R, D, G, T, N, O, 100, F, D, Z, X, Y, Z, Q, 10..."
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German joins China's ancient warriors

HONG KONG (AP) - A German art student tried to join a Chinese dynasty's army — but he volunteered centuries too late. The 26-year-old man — identified only as "Pablo" or by his Chinese name "Ma Lin" — made a dusty brown suit of armor, a tunic and a helmet, and attempted to blend in with the ancient warriors of the terra cotta army in the western city of Xi'an, the Hong Kong newspapers Ming Pao Daily News and Wen Wei Po reported on Monday.

The outfit matched the uniforms worn by the thousands of terra cotta soldiers buried in the tomb of the Emperor Qin Shihuangdi, who ruled between 221-210 B.C., the papers said. The soldiers — one of China's greatest archaeological discoveries — are displayed in a Xi'an museum.

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You can give him an E for effort.

[TexasStooge]

Jerusalem? Never heard of it

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Something always gets lost in translation, but usually not an entire city.

"Jerusalem. There is no such city!" the Jerusalem municipality said in the English-language version of a sightseeing brochure it had published originally in Hebrew.

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Must be some prankster translating the brochure.
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Shanghai: It's a big pajama party

SHANGHAI (Reuters) - People wearing pajamas in public, still a common sight in Shanghai, is one of the most irritating aspects of life in China's biggest city, according to an opinion poll of residents.

The survey found that pajama-wearing on the streets and in public places such as shops, banks and parks is among the most uncivilized things in the city, along with aggressive pets, unhelpful neighbors and disregard for the natural environment,

Over 16 percent of respondents said they or family members often donned pajamas in public, and 25 percent reported they sometimes did, Yang Xiong, a professor who helped conduct the poll, said Wednesday.

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No since doing it at public schools here in Texas as the dress codes get tougher.
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Bible now available on mobile phones

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - South African Christians seeking a quick spiritual boost will be able to download the entire bible on to their mobile telephones phones from Wednesday as part of a drive to modernize the scriptures.

The South African wing of the non-denominational International Bible Society, which translates and distributes the Bible, said mobile phone users with the right type of phone could download the whole bible in either English or Afrikaans using the text messaging function SMS.

"The Virtual Bible will enable the Bible Society to supply the Bible to every modern cell phone user in a fast and affordable format," Rev. Gerrit Kritzinger, chief executive of the Bible Society in South Africa, said in a statement.

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Interesting....
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Hungarians flock to grab "we screwed up" website

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany's blunt admission he lied to win an election has sparked outrage, riots and a race to claim a website over his comments.

The Hungarian web portal Index reported Tuesday that three license requests for the http://elkurtuk.hu ("we screwed up" in Hungarian) website had been submitted to the domain registration body ISZT.

Gyurcsany admitted in a taped speech that was leaked to the media that his Socialist-led government had lied to win general elections in April and that "we screwed up" a lot.

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Soon, he'll be writing, "I'm sorry, I'm contrite, and I'm stupid."

[TexasStooge]

And the grad students most likely to cheat are...

BOSTON, Mass. (Reuters) - Graduate business students in the United States and Canada are more likely to cheat on their work than their counterparts in other academic fields, the author of a research paper said on Wednesday.

The study of 5,300 graduate students in the United States and Canada found that 56 percent of graduate business students admitted to cheating in the past year, with many saying they cheated because they believed it was an accepted practice in business.

Following business students, 54 percent of graduate engineering students admitted to cheating, as did 50 percent of physical science students, 49 percent of medical and health-care students, 45 percent of law students, 43 percent of liberal arts students and 39 percent of social science and humanities students.

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How do you think Enron folded their business?
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Brain stimulation produces creepy shadow feeling

LONDON, England (Reuters) - Stimulating a certain area of the brain can produce a creepy feeling that someone is watching you when no one is, scientists said Wednesday.

Swiss researchers made the discovery while evaluating a young woman for surgery to treat epilepsy. They believe their finding could help explain feelings such as paranoia which afflict patients suffering from schizophrenia.

When they electrically stimulated the left temporoparietal junction in her brain, which is linked to self-other distinction and self-processing, she thought someone was standing behind her.

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(Whispering) "I see dead people."
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Teachers win suit over forced anthem singing

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese court ruled in favor of teachers who objected to being forced to sing the national anthem at school events, saying the Tokyo Metropolitan government's orders to do so infringed upon freedom of thought. The surprise ruling comes as conservative lawmakers, including Shinzo Abe, poised to become prime minister next week, seek to put more patriotism into classrooms in an effort to revive a Japanese sense of identity they see as lacking in modern-day society.

The Tokyo government and its school board in 2003 issued a directive requiring high school teachers to stand facing the flag and sing the "Kimigayo" anthem -- associated by some with wartime militarism -- or face punishment if they refused.

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Thank goodness I don't live in Japan.

[TexasStooge]

Woman finds 1.30-carat diamond in park

MURFREESBORO, Ark. - A Tennessee woman whose husband predicted she wouldn't have any luck gem hunting at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park made a sparkling discovery: a 1.30-carat diamond.

"I wasn't expecting to find anything and was just picking up pretty rocks," said Melissa Lacey of Knoxville.

At first, she thought the light yellow diamond was "a piece of dirty quartz." After it was identified by park staff, Lacey said she couldn't wait to show it to her husband.

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That's an awesome find.
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Eat a roach and be the first in line

GURNEE, Ill. (AP) - Why wait in line when you can just eat a cockroach? That's the question Six Flags Great America is asking its thrill seekers during its Halloween-themed FrightFest. The amusement park is daring customers to eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach in exchange for unlimited line-jumping privileges.

The promotion, which has Lake County Health Department officials shaking their heads, starts Oct. 7.

Anyone who chows down the entire 2- to 3-inch horned cockroach gets a pass for four people to cut to the front of ride lines through Oct. 29.

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The Six Flags is not for this weatherman.
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Cops: Don't open door, there's a gator

HOLIDAY, Fla. (AP) - Police lights and a phone call woke Kevin Jessup at 4 a.m. "Good morning, sir," a deputy told him in the pre-dawn call Wednesday. "I advise you not to step out your front door. There's an alligator right there. A large one."

46-year-old plumber looked out a window to his porch.

"That was a sight to see," he told the St. Petersburg Times. "Like a big lizard."

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If I only wish Steve Irwin was still here...

[TexasStooge]

Couples line up for passion in a car on stilts

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Couples in Amsterdam are writing out their dreams of passion for the chance to spend a night in a small car fitted with a bed and hoisted up on poles.

For a free overnight stay, couples must write to the Italian artist who converted the hatchback, and explain their romantic intentions -- ranging from marriage proposals to re-enactments of teenaged backseat fumblings.

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The biggest twist would be the time when they open the doors in the morning and fall out.
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U.S. map thief resented prestigious libraries: court

By Jason Szep

BOSTON (Reuters) - A dealer of antique treasures who admitted stealing more than $3 million in rare maps was resentful of the world's top libraries and acted to finance his rich tastes and rising debt, prosecutors said on Thursday.

Shedding light into why Edward Forbes Smiley III stole 98 of the world's most precious maps over seven years, papers filed in Connecticut's U.S. District Court said he initially acted because he felt he had been wronged and slighted.

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Smiley III: Another candidate in the Sorry, Contrite, and Stupid people.

[rainstorm]

Woman finds 1.30-carat diamond in park

MURFREESBORO, Ark. - A Tennessee woman whose husband predicted she wouldn't have any luck gem hunting at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park made a sparkling discovery: a 1.30-carat diamond.

"I wasn't expecting to find anything and was just picking up pretty rocks," said Melissa Lacey of Knoxville.

At first, she thought the light yellow diamond was "a piece of dirty quartz." After it was identified by park staff, Lacey said she couldn't wait to show it to her husband.

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WOW!!

[TexasStooge]

"Jihad" car commercial upsets U.S. Muslims

CINCINNATI, Ohio (Reuters) - A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering "Fatwa Fridays" with free swords for the kids is offensive and should not be aired, Muslim leaders said on Sunday.

The radio advertisement for the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in Columbus, Ohio, has "a whole jihad theme," said Adnan Mirza, director of the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

"They are planning on launching a jihad on the automotive market and their representatives would be wearing burqas ... ," Mirza said. "They mentioned the pope in there and also about giving rubber swords out to the kiddies -- really just reprehensible-type comments."

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Not as annoying as the current "Pop Quiz" commercials
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BA plane diverted as baby makes early arrival

LONDON (Reuters) - A transAtlantic flight from London to Boston had to make an emergency diversion after one passenger made an unexpected early arrival.

A woman traveling on board the British Airways flight caused the drama when she went into labor after the plane had taken off on Saturday night.

Unable to reach another airport in time, the baby was delivered mid-air by the cabin crew with the help of two passengers, thought to be medical students.

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AAAWWWW!!!
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"Finger food for beer drinkers"

By Grant McCool

HO CHI MINH CITY (Reuters) - Would you like your crickets deep fried and crispy? Peppered and presented in a neat circle on a bed of green leaves?

Breeders of crickets say the insects have become "finger food for beer drinkers" in an age of increasing prosperity in Vietnam compared with the recent past when they might have been food for the hungry or for wartime soldiers surviving in the jungle.

Businessman Le Thanh Tung raises hundreds of thousands of the flying insects in barrels and sells them to restaurants in Ho Chi Minh City, the Southeast Asian country's largest urban area, or to other breeders in neighboring provinces.

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Would you like your crickets deep fried and crispy?

I certainly wouldn't want 'em in the State Fair of Texas.

[TexasStooge]

There has been some crazy news in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area this morning.
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Police: Woman shot toddler while high

She drove 3-year-old cousin to the hospital after gun went off

By JASON TRAHAN / The Dallas Morning News

DALLAS, Texas - Dallas police believe that a 21-year-old woman was high on cocaine when she inadvertently shot her 3-year-old cousin in the neck, then drove him nearly six miles to Mesquite Community Hospital.

He was transferred to Children's after arriving at Mesquite Community on Interstate 30. Police believe the cousin drove him there shortly after shooting him at 3:30 a.m. Sunday.

The 21-year-old, who also was not identified, was apparently examining the gun at the house in the 9900 block of Cedar Mountain Circle in Pleasant Grove when it went off, police said.

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Thank goodness it didn't turn tragic.
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Sex offender abducted in Grand Prairie

By JASON TRAHAN / The Dallas Morning News

GRAND PRAIRIE, Texas - A Dallas man remains missing three days after he was kidnapped in broad daylight in Grand Prairie by men who had guns and were wearing ski masks. They left the victim's infant son asleep in his Suburban.

Witnesses said that at 3:40 p.m. Friday, Jose Inez Galaviz, 33, brought his son, who is less than a year old, with him to check on one of his other vehicles being repaired at a business in the 3900 block of East Jefferson Street. Two late-1990s model SUVs, one brown or gold and the other two-toned gold over blue, pulled up. Several men dragged Mr. Galaviz into one of the SUVs and left. Bystanders who phoned 911 watched the child until police arrived and returned the boy to his mother, who is Mr. Galaviz's girlfriend.

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Isn't it the other way around?
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Man killed in bee attack while cutting grass

ALICE, Texas (DallasNews.com/AP) - A South Texas man died after being swarmed by bees when he was mowing a lawn, officials said.

Reymundo Ramirez died Saturday after bumping a lawn mower into a storage shed near Alice, according to the Jim Wells County Sheriff's Office.

Ramirez, whose age was not available, ran to the side of the house but collapsed covered in bees, sheriff's officials said.

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Oh dear!

OK, back to the worldwide craziness.
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Plucky boy gets Miss Universe dream date

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A plucky Australian schoolboy who asked a former Miss Universe to his school dance, only to be rebuffed, has finally had his dream date over lunch.

Daniel Dibley, 17, needed a partner for the school dance in the Australian country town of Bathurst, west of Sydney, and he decided to aim high.

He wrote to Australia's best-known beauty queen, Jennifer Hawkins, to ask her to the dance, and was stunned when the 2004 Miss Universe accepted.

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Sweet!!
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Man plans to feed placenta to goannas

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) - An Australian man who says "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin shaped his love for reptiles said Tuesday he plans to feed the placenta from his newborn son to his pet goannas to bring the family closer to lizards.

Wil Kemp, a reptile keeper at Rockhampton Zoo in northeastern Queensland state, said his second son was born on Sept. 5, the day after Irwin was killed by a stingray attack while filming on the Great Barrier Reef.

Kemp and his fiance Kahila Pepper gave the boy the first and second names Tai and Irwin — the former after the taipan snake and the latter after the television star and conservationist.

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I'm sure Steve Irwin would be proud.
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Man who hawked rifle as boy gets it back

SYRINGA, Idaho (AP) - It was a ricochet nearly 50 years in the making. At age 8, Terry Jackson gave up his prized .22-caliber Winchester short-barrel rifle to get his grandmother a washer. Recently, the 57-year-old got the gun back through a series of chance encounters and conversations.

"I didn't even have much reaction," said Jackson. "I was so dumbfounded."

As a boy, Jackson felt bad that his grandmother was too poor to have a washer. So he took the rifle he had earned money for by mowing lawns and doing other chores to a pawn shop.

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I would be dumbounded as well.
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Iowa woman finds drowned bat in tea mug

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa (AP) - A western Iowa woman is recovering from the shock of finding a drowned bat in her tea mug — after she sipped from the cup all day.

The brown bat, about the size of two tea bags, was found a few weeks ago by a 60-year-old Woodbury County woman, said Chuck Cipperley, an environmental director for the Siouxland health office in Sioux City.

"I knew the person, so I knew it was no joke," said Cipperley, who took the call from the woman.

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[TexasStooge]

Tanks for the memories...

BANGKOK (Reuters) - Thai coup leaders have banned go-go girls from dancing near tanks and troops on Bangkok streets as a distraction from the serious business of power, a spokesman said on Wednesday.

"It is not appropriate to entertain soldiers while they are on duty," Colonel Acra Tiprote told Reuters after a troupe of 10 women in tight camouflage vests and shorts posed with soldiers and tanks while making a music video.

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That's pretty understandable...
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3-year-old boy buys pink Nissan on eBay

LONDON, England (AP) - Three-year-old Jack Neal loves cars: so much so, that while his mother's back was turned he bought a Barbie-pink Nissan Figaro for nearly $16,000 on eBay.

"I had just come off the computer and I thought I had logged off, I came out of eBay," his mother Rachel told the British Broadcasting Corp. on Monday.

"Jack jumped on the chair, (went) straight in, found the page and bought the car." Unable to read, the youngster likely used the "buy it now" option to make the purchase.

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This is giving some Barbie fans too many ideas.
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Aiming to make world's biggest cheese

WINKEL, Netherlands (Reuters) - Using forklifts, Dutch cheesemakers turned over a thick slab of Dutch cheese weighing nearly 600 kg (1,320 lb) on Tuesday, hoping to claim the title for the world's largest cheese.

The table-sized cheese, commissioned by Dutch cheese producer Beemster, was gently lifted and turned by forklifts in preparation for an official weighing next week.

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Hopefully, the public will eat the whole cheese before it rots.
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Opossum clash ends with arrest, dog shot

SAN DIEGO, Calif. (AP) - A dispute that began over the capture of an opossum in a residential neighborhood ended with police shooting a Rottweiler and arresting a man after stunning him with a Taser gun.

A fight broke out in the Talmadge area of San Diego after a resident saw a large opossum running in the area Tuesday and asked a maintenance worker to corral the feral animal, prompting a call to police.

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All that over an opossum?

[TexasStooge]

Here comes the bride ... and her new baby

LONDON (Reuters) - A bride walked down the aisle only 11 hours after giving birth to her first child.

Nicky Heys went into labor three months early on the night before her big day, but still managed to get to the church on time.

The 35-year-old secretary gave birth to a son, Harry, weighing just 1 lb 12 oz (800 grams), the Daily Mirror newspaper reported on Thursday.

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Kinda odd that it goes in that order, but more common with teen girls after they've been giving birth.
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Maggie the sea lion paints for fish

PITTSBURGH, Penn. (AP) - Some artists suffer for their work. Maggie, an 11-year-old sea lion at the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, gets to eat dead fish for hers. Kesha Phares, a zoo trainer, has been teaching the animal to paint since last year.

"It's, in a way, enriching," Phares told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review for Wednesday's editions. "Sea lions are very smart animals, and painting keeps their minds active."

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That's some sea lion with talent.
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No mercy for priest with parking ticket

NEW YORK (AP) - The city is showing no mercy to a priest who got a $115 ticket for parking in an ambulance zone while ministering to an ailing hospital patient.

Two months after ticketing the Rev. Cletus Forson of St. Andrew the Apostle Church in Brooklyn, the city has thrown out his appeal.

"It's just a disappointment," said Forson, who got hit with the ticket July 26 outside Maimonides Medical Center. "I was attending someone who was in a debilitated state who needed attention."

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Sheesh, if ya wanna ticket someone, ticket some people who are hogging 3-4 spaces with one car.

[TexasStooge]

Ethnic games tainted by cross-dressing cheats

BEIJING (Reuters) - Touted as a celebration of sport, culture and national unity, the Ethnic Minority Games held in southwestern China descended into a farce of cross-dressing cheating and mob violence, state media reported.

Athletes representing China's 55 ethnic minorities assembled in southwestern Yunnan province last week to compete in blow-pipe darts, horse-riding events and other traditional sports.

But blind pursuit of victory lead to some unorthodox tactics, Xinhua news agency reported.

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Sounds like there were some sore losers.
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White House gates shut to "Kazakh reporter" comic

By Andy Sullivan

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Borat, the fictional TV reporter from Kazakhstan, may have gotten under the skin of Kazakh officials but on Thursday he couldn't get past the gates of the White House.

Secret Service agents turned away British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, in character as the boorish, anti-Semitic journalist, when he tried to invite "Premier George Walter Bush" to a screening of his upcoming movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

Also invited to the screening: O.J. Simpson, "Mel Gibsons" and other "American dignitaries."

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"Uhh, Chester Steaknife of the Dallas Snooper..."
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Lights go off in Iceland, clouds dim sky for star gazers

REYKJAVIK (Reuters Life!) - Iceland's capital and several towns plunged into darkness on Thursday as street lights were turned off for people to get a better view of the night sky.

Even though rain and clouds dimmed the view for the thousands of people who went out star gazing, the man who thought up the event was happy.

"All the streets lights are off, we can see a few stars," said writer Andri Snaer Magnason, speaking by telephone from the darkened streets of downtown Reykjavik, Iceland's capital and home to about 200,000 people.

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Would've been a great idea, but the forecast was cloudy and rainy that night.
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Dry cleaner finds note about 'murder'

ANN ARBOR, Michigan (AP) - Dry cleaners find all kinds of things hiding in the clothes of their customers — but probably nothing quite like what some employees stumbled across recently. A note found in a customer's clothing read, "You have committed a murder, but no one believes it. All I can do is kill myself, then everyone will see what you have done."

It was signed: "Your wife, Alice."

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This story should be in the "GROAN" thread.

[TexasStooge]

Canadian school teacher leaves millions to charity

TORONTO (Reuters) - A Canadian teacher who lived a frugal life but gave large, anonymous donations to people in need, has left a C$4.3 million ($3.8 million) fortune to an environmental charity.

Roberta Langtry, 89, kept her wealth a secret until her death last year. The Toronto woman had worked as an elementary school teacher and speech therapist for 55 years, quietly amassing millions, mainly from financial investments.

"She was friends with all her neighbors and they loved her but had no idea she had two nickels to rub together," Robert Borden, her executor and long-time friend, said on Friday.

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Now THAT's puttin money to good use.
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Priests accused in $8 million church theft

By Jim Loney

MIAMI (Reuters) - Two Roman Catholic priests allegedly misappropriated more than $8 million from their church and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on real estate, travel, rare coins and girlfriends, police in Florida said on Friday.

The retired priests were accused of skimming cash from collection plates and bequests to the St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida, over a period of years and channeling the money into secret "slush funds" they used to pay personal bills, Delray Beach police said.

Former St. Vincent pastor John Skehan, 79, was arrested on a charge of grand theft over $100,000 and was being held in the Palm Beach County jail on a $400,000 bond.

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Future Robin (Robber) Hoods

[rainstorm]

Skinny models wearing thin in fashion shocker

By Andrew Hay

MADRID (Reuters) - The world's first ban on overly thin models at a top-level fashion show in Madrid has caused outrage among modeling agencies and raised the prospect of restrictions at other venues.

Madrid's fashion week has turned away underweight models after protests that girls and young women were trying to copy their rail-thin looks and developing eating disorders.

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i think its a bad example to say overweight is ok