The Guys' Rules

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chadtm80

The Guys' Rules

#1 Postby chadtm80 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:41 am

The Guys' Rules


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it



will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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#2 Postby Ixolib » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:15 am

:D

Thanks, I needed that...
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Re: The Guys' Rules

#3 Postby j » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:13 am

chadtm80 wrote:1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


Yes Indeed...and this one (above) is the #1 of #1's.
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#4 Postby southerngale » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:15 am

Well, no argument from me on the Sunday sports...I love my sports more than most guys I know. :)

I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
ROFL!






Image
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#5 Postby TexasStooge » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:17 am

:lol: :roflmao:
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#6 Postby chadtm80 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:21 am

HIJACKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Women always have to try to take something over :-)
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!

#7 Postby GrimReaper » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:27 am

OMG.... I loved this, and I'm a chick!!!!!!!!!! Hate to say it, but there are some real truths in there.
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#8 Postby Brent » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:33 am

:roflmao:!!!!!!!!
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#neversummer

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#9 Postby coriolis » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:35 am

(scratches butt)
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#10 Postby chadtm80 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:38 am

coriolis wrote:(scratches butt)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#11 Postby j » Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:49 am

brb.. it's time for the big breasted new employee to walk thru the cafeteria. I think I'll go get a drink.
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#12 Postby JenBayles » Mon Oct 02, 2006 1:08 pm

j wrote:brb.. it's time for the big breasted new employee to walk thru the cafeteria. I think I'll go get a drink.


:lol: :lol: You know ladies, you have to at least give j credit for consistency!
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#13 Postby dizzyfish » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:06 pm

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I gotta remember that one.

Yes, I'm a girl. You read ours - we can read yours! :wink:
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#14 Postby chadtm80 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:12 pm

Shoot we don't mind women reading them... Maybe you all will learn something :-)
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#15 Postby brunota2003 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:12 pm

That was awesome...mostly true for me...:lol: :lol: :lol:
BTW...for you PMSing girls, an instrument is something you play (i.e. trumpet, clarinet) NOT a WMD...:lol:
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#16 Postby MiamiensisWx » Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:55 pm

Statement just out from the U.S. CDC has just classified this thread as biohazard.

That's how you know this thread will be popular.
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#17 Postby southerngale » Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:15 pm

brunota2003 wrote:BTW...for you PMSing girls, an instrument is something you play (i.e. trumpet, clarinet) NOT a WMD...:lol:





Image
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#18 Postby brunota2003 » Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:44 pm

No questions from me...:lol:
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Re: !

#19 Postby azsnowman » Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:16 pm

GrimReaper wrote:OMG.... I loved this, and I'm a chick!!!!!!!!!! Hate to say it, but there are some real truths in there.


AMEN and here's to number ONE :lol:
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