Need Advice Big Time

[Miss Mary]

Well said ~everybody~! I was going to put my 2 cents worth in but the last dozen or so posts have pretty much said what I would have.

conestego - I sincerely you take the excellent advice you've been given here and seriously change your ways. At 17, you can turn this around. But only if you want to. As someone pointed out, behavior like this 1 year from now will have serious and permanent consequences (criminal record). Not to mention possible prison time. I don't think you want that, do you?

I do wish you well.

Mary

[CajunMama]

Actually I think a 17 year old could be tried as an adult. There's that fine line between 17 & 18.

I can't believe you are going to throw your life away doing something like this. Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you and you're going to learn that very soon. How could you even steal from your own family? I'm not going to give you advice because you don't follow the advice you're given. You evidently don't want to change. I'd be surprised if your friends let you live with them if they know you've been stealing from your own family. Good luck...I do hope you see the error of your ways soon.

[conestogo_flood]

It's better to voice your opinion.

[therock1811]

You really messed yourself over on this one. The stance your parents are taking is what's right...in fact I think it's a bit TOO light. There are serious consequences for your actions, and IMO if you haven't realized that by now, it may frankly be too late.

[Brent]

Actually I think a 17 year old could be tried as an adult. There's that fine line between 17 & 18.

I can't believe you are going to throw your life away doing something like this. Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you and you're going to learn that very soon. How could you even steal from your own family? I'm not going to give you advice because you don't follow the advice you're given. You evidently don't want to change. I'd be surprised if your friends let you live with them if they know you've been stealing from your own family. Good luck...I do hope you see the error of your ways soon.

I think you really messed up on this one too.

[wxmann_91]

Wait a sec... your PARENTS are kicking you out or are you just angry enough so you left on your own?

Just b/c you stole 1000 dollars should not be enough to get you kicked out. Remember that they are your parents and they love you no matter what. Not saying it's okay to steal, of course.

Don't drop out of HS...that's not a good decision. And NO, not all HS students skip classes.

Good luck man, I'm hoping for the best for you.

[CajunMama]

Just b/c you stole 1000 dollars should not be enough to get you kicked out.

That should be more than enough to kick him out. That's enough to land him in jail if his parents were to choose to press charges against him.

[conestogo_flood]

They threatened to call the cops, but I knew they wouldn't. Then I was told I have until Nov.7 to move out.

[CajunMama]

And just what were you buying with the money you stole? Surely you would have had enough spending money from your part time job.

[rainstorm]

i hope you can work things out with your parents. if you have until nov 07 to leave then work out a way to pay them back.

2 pieces of advice:

a-ditch your current "friends"
b-think of today as the first day of the rest of your life and work to be a better person

[brunota2003]

honestly...speaking my own opinion here...I would of done the same thing, except instead of letting you take your stuff, I would of kept it...the only thing you would of been walking out the house with would be 5 days worth of clothes and that would be it...

[Bobbie Lee]

conestogo... you're dropping out of school in order to work more to support yourself -- is that right? I'm sorry for the situation you've gotten yourself into. Please look into night school or some kind of alternative -- even a GED is better than not finishing. My father dropped out and it came back to haunt him more than 25 years later.

You know you NEED to turn your life around, but you have to WANT to. And if you truly want to, you can. I have dear friends who kicked their son out of the house. It was VERY difficult for them to do, yet they knew it was for his own good -- some folks just have to learn the hard way. Fortunately, the son DID turn his life around and is quite successful now.

I wish the same for you.

[nystate]

Listen man,

This moment is a turning point for you. What you decide here will affect you for the rest of your life. Now, you can make an attempt to make things right and stay in school. At least try and make peace with your parents, but even if you can't you need to stay in school. That is the most important thing right now. Don't drop out.

A year, five years, even ten years from now your whole situation will seem unreal, as if it didn't even happen. For your sake allow yourself to look back on this time and see yourself making the right decisions...a life of regret is not one that you want to live. By asking us for help, you are already helping yourself. Stay in school, man. Don't close so many doors at such a young age...

[wxmann_91]

Just b/c you stole 1000 dollars should not be enough to get you kicked out.

That should be more than enough to kick him out. That's enough to land him in jail if his parents were to choose to press charges against him.

But parents kicking out children? While they are still in school? That's a bit overboard, IMO.

I'd probably punish them severely but I wouldn't actually kick him out. Maybe I just come from a different background or something but I've never heard of parents kicking children out.

Conestogo, I wish the best for you. Remember this is a turning point and 30 years later you will be looking back on these days and reminiscing how your life could be different if you had not done what you will do in the next months.

[CajunMama]

wxmann...this is not the first time he's been in trouble with his parents. If someone wants to act like that then they need to be responsible for their own actions.

[vbhoutex]

First ditch the drugs and alcohol, like you said you would last time you asked for advice from your friends here at S2K. Second, ditch those people you call friends who have helped you drag yourself down to this level. You must do both now if you are to become a productive person in the future.

Some say kicking him out is too harsh. I don't know. I don't think we have the whole story here. Sorry, but I have been through similar with my own son, who is now a productive person and getting married in a monthl He hit rock bottom very early, apparently not criminally from what we know, but I had him forcibly put into rehab for drugs and anger management, and that included him being cuffed and put in the back of a police car for the ride. It is one of the hardest things I ever did, but he thanks me for it now.

The best advice I have seen so far is GET PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING so you can figure out why you are doing this to yourself. AND STAY IN SCHOOL AND FINISH HOWEVER YOU CAN. If the facilities are available somewhere in your area ask you parents to help you clean yourself up so you can straighten yourself up and make the amends you need to make.

Best of luck, but first you MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS!!!

[george_r_1961]

Just b/c you stole 1000 dollars should not be enough to get you kicked out.

That should be more than enough to kick him out. That's enough to land him in jail if his parents were to choose to press charges against him.

But parents kicking out children? While they are still in school? That's a bit overboard, IMO.
I'd probably punish them severely but I wouldn't actually kick him out. Maybe I just come from a different background or something but I've never heard of parents kicking children out.

Conestogo, I wish the best for you. Remember this is a turning point and 30 years later you will be looking back on these days and reminiscing how your life could be different if you had not done what you will do in the next months.

No it isnt overboard at all. If i acted like that I would have been thrown out too. His actions show a total lack of respect for his family AND himself.

[Dustin]

Look this angers me.....

I have a form of high functioning autism, called asperger's syndrome.... It makes it hard to go into social situations, and it is hard to make friends, but I still try. I admit there are times when I don't want to try, but I do. I am 17 myself, although school is not my favorite thing in the world, I still do it... People that don't have these problems, still drop out of school, take drugs (for whatever reason, why would you want to ruin your life with mood altering chemicals is beyond me) and do crazy stuff..... LOOK you have it EASIER than ME. http://www.aspergers.com check it out, you may learn something. I STILL TRY, and YOU should too!

[alicia-w]

there are several threads where you've asked for help and it doesnt look like you've listened to any of the several great pieces of advice offered up so far or you wouldnt be where you are right now.

i will tell you right now that you are getting off very easy by getting kicked out for stealing what might amount to $1000. one of my sons took my car for a spin one day. no license, no permission, and i had him arrested for stealing my car. it wasnt the first infraction he'd committed, it was the last of a series of pretty serious things: shoplifting, etc. The judge could have but him on probation, but then I'd have to pay a fee every month. And why should i do that? I was the victim! SO he spent that summer in juvenile detention and it did him a WORLD OF GOOD! It's called accountability. Quit blaming your parents for reacting to what YOU did wrong!

[tropicana]

All good advice. I have to tell you that from knowing you, you are so bright and so articulate.
Don't mess it up with all the drugs and all the alcohol, and the wrong friends that you choose that can and do lead you astray. The stealing (from your own family) is def. so so wrong.

In my mind, even after all of this, if I were a parent, I won't kick you out (and thats only because you are still in school). But if I were them, I'd make sure and get you professional help. Your parents have to get you help..they can't just throw you out to the wolves. It is a very tough, hard world out there... school is like heaven compared to the real world..trust me.

PLEASE DO NOT DROP OUT OF SCHOOL though! It will be the very worst of all the bad decisions that you have made ... it will not be good. You havent done it as yet...so this isn't too late. STAY IN SCHOOL no matter what. If you drop out, you will live to regret it forever.

-justin-