Needing advice please :)

[Josephine96]

Ok folks..

Simple issue..

Andrea has found us an apartment and she can move in about 2 weeks.. Here's the thing..

I want to move in with her, really do.. But I'd have to change addresses, move to an entirely different town {winter haven/haines city area} which actually doesn't entirely bother me because I think a change of scenery wouldn't bother me..

I'd have to find someone who'd be kind enough to move my stuff from point A to point B,

and I'd also have to remember.. God for bid if things between me and Andrea go sour.. and 1 of us ends up kicking the other out.. then what lol..

Andrea has told me take my time.. but she really wants me there because she wants to see if we'd make it living under the same roof.. {I think we would}..

I am thinking of packing my bags and moving perhaps in March or April because if I move in this quick.. I can kiss my trip to Nashville good bye lol..

Plus I gotta see where the Wal Mart's are in relation to where our place would be..

All right.. start the opinions and fire away.. I wanna hear some feedback please..

[Tstormwatcher]

How long have you and her been together and are both of you going to sign the lease? Have you both already agreed on who pays what bills? Make real sure all of these questions are answered before you agree to move in together.

[azsnowman]

Well....any move you make is a risk, getting MARRIED is a risk, ask me, I know, I've ONLY been divorced 2 times before I found Michelle...yup, this is my "3rd" marriage and so far.....................


Changing addresses???? No biggie.....

Getting kicked out? That's the chance you take....LIFE itself is a risk, everyday when you wake up and walk outside your house/home/apartment is a risk, you stand the chance of getting shot, getting hit by a car, getting mugged....life is DYNAMIC, NEVER static, always changing....if you never take a chance you'll never know what you MIGHT have missed!

Personally......why not? GO FOR IT, I mean, the worst than can happen is you wind up in a motel/hotel until you can find another place to live

[Josephine96]

How long together? Not very long.. refusing to comment because I don't feel like people telling me I'm moving way too quick lol..

Yes we're already starting to discuss who would pay what bills, who would buy what furniture and stuff.. and yes both our names would go on the lease..

any more questions peoples..

[tropicana]

i have to say it is a very mature way of thinking .. waiting to move in in 2 or 3 months from now as you said... as you have to sort out the job issues plus the trip you wanna take.
i know you love her dearly, but i've watched enough Judge Judy shows to know... just make sure you know who's is paying for what when you do move in so that there can be no arguments or disagreements about it in the future.

its good to be independent, but its also good to have and know you have someone you love that you can depend on like andrea.
YAY for you john!

[Josephine96]

Yes tropicana, I do love her dearly.. I think thats' clear and everyone I know says the same thing..

I know I'd have to get a transfer to a different store, and I know if I end up ditching my trip to Nashville, It'll crush me because I really wanna go..

Andrea actually always watches the court shows lol.. so I see them all the time.. Sometimes I wonder how much Andrea really does love me. Someone told me I shouldn't wonder b cuz this is a prime example.. {the apt thing}..

I love her to death, would never hurt her.. and her mom is even happy I'm with her becauz her mom knows I'm a good kid and would never hurt her..

[Lindaloo]

Why can't you two get an apartment near your job?

[Josephine96]

Linda, That seems to be everyone's question..

She doesn't wanna leave Winter Haven/Haines City. I really don't feel like leaving Kissimmee/St Cloud, but I'll more than happily make the sacrifice..

[Lindaloo]

It should be a mutual decision. Not one side moving to please the other. Everything should be 50/50. Does she work?

[Josephine96]

True Linda bout the mutual decision lol.. She does and she can afford to pay for the apt. herself till I move in if I don't feel like moving in right away

[Lindaloo]

I guess it all depends on whether or not you like your job at your current Walmart.

[Josephine96]

I do like my job at my current Wal Mart, but maybe a change wouldn't be so bad.. I have about 3 months or so to make up my mind so lets see lol..

[cajungal]

Do they have a good transportation system? I know that is how how you get to work. It is a big decision and you will just have to go through the pros and cons. How far is the town from your current job? Could ya'll still make it work even if ya'll don't move in together? You are both adults and I am sure you will make the right decision. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting an apartment together, but right now, there is no way we can afford it. So, we are both still living at home with our parents until we find better paying jobs. The cost of living is so high.

[gtalum]

You won't want to hear it, but you asked for it.

My advice: don't do it yet. What's your hurry? You're young. You seem to like your job. Don't get stuck by moving in together so quickly. That kind of move puts a lot of pressure on a budding relationship. Buy an inexpensive used car instead, and then you can go see her whenever you want to.

If you ignore that advice and do decide to move in anyway, whatever you do make sure both of your names are on the lease. That way if things do fall apart you can't get kicked out against your will nor can you be stuck with responsibility for the rent by yourself if the other person were to take off.

[swimaster20]

You won't want to hear it, but you asked for it.

My advice: don't do it yet. What's your hurry? You're young. You seem to like your job. Don't get stuck by moving in together so quickly. That kind of move puts a lot of pressure on a budding relationship. Buy an inexpensive used car instead, and then you can go see her whenever you want to.

If you ignore that advice and do decide to move in anyway, whatever you do make sure both of your names are on the lease. That way if things do fall apart you can't get kicked out against your will nor can you be stuck with responsibility for the rent by yourself if the other person were to take off.

Whoa! That's what I think the best thing is too. I actually agreed with gtalum! EGAD! No, j/k with you gtalum. Seriously John, I think you shouldn't go in right away because things you wouldn't think would happen between ya'll might while ya'll live under one roof. If that just made sense. But you know ya'lls relationship the best, and if it's solid enough, I'm sure ya'll will make it through. Well, anyway, best luck to you! I hope everything goes well.

[Josephine96]

Ok guys.. I have an update..

According to what Andrea says.. there is a Wal Mart within walking distance of what would be "our" apartment, so I can walk to work if I really wanted too..

Yes both our names would be on the lease and I'd just have to pay a small application fee and fill out the application and be in.

My lease doesn't expire till April, so I have plenty of time to decide when or if I want to make this big jump. Right now, I'm seriously leaning towards doing it but we'll see.

Andrea has told me that she is in no hurry for me to move in, but she can't wait for me to move in because she doesn't wanna be adjusting to a new neighborhood by herself {even though I'd be adjusting to it too lol}..

To move or not to move.. That's the question.. I have a little over 4 months to decide on an answer..

I have 2 vacations coming up 1st. I will be in Tampa tomorrow and Wed. I will use those 2 days to help me decide, and I will also use my 5 days in Nashville next month to help me decide.

I'm going to sit by the Tampa Bay, think, maybe shed some tears b cause I'll probably be talking and thinking about my Mom and I'll ask her what she thinks. She thought very highly of how I have been treating Andrea and how I have so much patience with her even though she can get on my nerves lol..

Ode to the decision making process.. I wanna make the big jump, but I don't wanna make it too quick..

[Rainband]

John. You have come a very long way since I have known you here... We have watched you grow up. I am proud of you and I hope that you know, that no matter what you decide, we support you. We just want you to make a decision that you will be happy with. That's why some are concerned. They have your Best interest at heart. Good Luck Bud.

[Josephine96]

Thank u Johnathan..

A lot of people tell me they are seeing me grow up as me and Andrea's relationship evolves day by day. They see how patient I am with her even when she pisses me off, they see how caring with her when she's sick even though it gets my nerves because she gets sick a lot.

People see how I am "physco analytical" and not afraid to make a decision I THINK IS RIGHT even if its going to hurt a bunch of people or cost me more than going about it a different way.

I even found out, If the Wal Mart is where I think it is that I could transfer too.. It's a D-1 {not a supercenter}.. which means it wouldn't be open 24/7 and I may have to take a pay cut to go to a GM position instead of a grocery..

Plus I keep remembering that since my bank account is with a local bank and not a national chain right now, I'd have to close my account at my current bank and open it somewhere else.. {I'd probably go to SunTrust if I had to choose or even to a credit union}

Lots of decisions to make between now and April. In fact, I am now going to mention.. I am marking 4/1 as my deadline for a decision. {that way if I don't change my current state of mind, I can still sign a new lease here}..

I REALLY love Andrea! and can't wait to be with her under the same roof, but I also have to realize the pros and cons of what could happen.

[bosag]

Hi, I know I dont post much, but my dh and I met online, he knew I was divorced w/ two young children and still moved down here to be with me (from New York). He moved both of his cars filled to the brim with his stuff and I was in a low income apt.
After he got here, we decided to rent a house, talk about me getting the "what if it doesnt work out" jitters. but we will be celebrating 9 yrs together in May and two additional children together, so you will know when it's right:)

Good Luck to you both, I wish you well:)

Barb