More heartbreak.. Andrea left me :(

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Pburgh
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#21 Postby Pburgh » Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:02 am

THOW THE CLOTHES OUT!!!! That would be such a cathartic thing to do!!!!

John, you don't have to prove you're a better person ---- YOU ARE. Now it's time for you to start believing that. You don't need someone else to complete your life, you need to learn to be happy with yourself and by yourself. Once you do that, having another person in your life is a really nice adjunct, but not a necessity.

I know, I know, I've said this before but it's true. You are a terrific person. I just wish you would realize that and know that having a girlfriend does not complete you, being happy in your own skin completes you. ((HUGS))
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Josephine96

#22 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:16 am

Hi Karan,

So should i throw them out? Or should I be the bigger person and mail them back to her.? She pretty much told me.. "If I have to come up there to get my clothes, u can throw them out".

I actually do like the single life, It's better for me.. I don't mind doing things alone. I can go on vacations alone, I can go places alone.. I probably need to keep telling myself I'm a good person because I don't entirely believe it right now after letting Andrea use and abuse me..
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#23 Postby tomboudreau » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:23 am

Pitch 'em. If she doesnt want to come and get them...throw them to the dump or donate them to Goodwill.
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#24 Postby Brent » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:25 am

tomboudreau wrote:Pitch 'em. If she doesnt want to come and get them...throw them to the dump or donate them to Goodwill.


Agreed. She broke up with you, she hurt you. Hurt her back. :x
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Josephine96

#25 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:25 am

Thank u Tom.. :) Ur probably right.. I need to just realize.. Andrea is NOT WORTH IT. She is a total 5 letter word and I don't need someone who will play with my emotions. use me for my money and her own pleasures and not care about mine..

I feel used, abused, broken hearted, and I don't even wanna talk 2 her right now..
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Miss Mary

#26 Postby Miss Mary » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:28 am

Stand in front of the mirror and say that John, over and over.

"I actually do like the single life, it's better for me"......now you're talking. Pitch the clothes - like yesterday! And move on. Please, move on. You go back and forth so much that it's actually frustrating for me to watch. And this is only a message board! Can't imagine what your coworkers want to do to YOU right now. Shake some sense into you? Yes, I'm sure they want to. But you and only you, can live your life. In a nutshell that is what many here are telling you. Stop going back and forth over what she said, did, didn't say, didn't do - it's over. If you were my son, we would have had a serious talk, long, long ago. Karan is right - having a girlfriend does not complete you! If you could only convince yourself of that, you'd be all set.......listen to what Brian said too. With his attitude he won't have to wait until retirement to date again. When you're not looking to date, is when you sometimes meet the right person.

I'm repeating myself, so forgive me. Just be single - for a long, long time. Take yourself off the market!
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Josephine96

#27 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:29 am

eye for an eye right, Even a friend i work with says to me yesterday "Yes u were super nice to her, now u have the right to show her some of ur mean side.. dump the clothes, dump everything u have that reminds u of her {unless it's really important} and move along"
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Josephine96

#28 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:33 am

I like the single life.. I like the single life.. The consensus is to ditch the clothes.. I have them packed in bags, all I have to do is either walk right out to the dumpster or take the short bus trip to GoodWill and then they are gone.

She does have some x-mas presents of mine that her Mom bought for me.. I wanna tell her to keep them. I really liked the gifts but if she keeps them maybe they'll make her think of the fact that she hurt me and will never see me again. Andrea is HISTORY! Yes it hurts, Yes it aches at me and yes I'm po'd.. but I don't need a woman like her..

October 27th 2006- January 13th 2007. RIP John and Andrea's relationship
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#29 Postby Pburgh » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:09 am

And don't beat yourself up about picking the "wrong girl"!!!! Take all the good that you got from this relationship and move on. Don't look back and don't keep replaying it in your mind. That doesn't help - it only hurts. Trust me on this one. ((HUGS))
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Josephine96

#30 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:19 am

Andrea taught me 3 things I'll remember for a long time..

1. I AM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE. When we were in the lovey dovey part of our relations she'd always tell me how good looking I was, she even just told me the other day how good I looked.

2. I AM intimately attractive: She was my "1st" I'll never forget that and she was the 3rd girl in a row I dated that wanted "it" and I finally gave in because it seemed we both loved each other the same. {Thank u Cristy and Toni as well for wanting me because it also shows that I am sexually attractive and don't have to worry}

3. THE WARNING SIGNS OF BEING USED: Constantly begging me for $, wanting "it" every day only to then cut me off completely 5 weeks ago, Getting into fights over irrelevant bs, telling me "I don't love u but I know I care about u a lot"

THANK U ANDREA FOR THE LESSONS LEARNED. I'LL TAKE THEM. THANK U FOR MAKING ME REALIZE I'M ATTRACTIVE BOTH PHYSICALLY & INTIMATELY. I am much better off though.. WITHOUT YOU!
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#31 Postby alicia-w » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:54 pm

I'm sorry for your loss and understand heartache. I also understand your wanting to share with friends, but maybe you should seriously consider keeping some things more private, share a little less. I dont know that I would want my boyfriend or husband sharing certain things. Some more intimate issues should stay private. Just a thought.
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Josephine96

#32 Postby Josephine96 » Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:33 pm

True about the too much FYI.. sorry Alicia.. my mistake lol..

Anyway.. I have an update.. It took fighting off tears.. but her stuff is GONE! Right after I got home from church a little while ago, I threw it out! I'm also going to go get the $ back for her X-mas present and spend it on myself possibly as early as tomorrow..

Andrea.. I don't need You! I'm fine single and without you..
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Miss Mary

#33 Postby Miss Mary » Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:12 pm

John - I have to agree with alicia here. You reveal far too many personal aspects of your life on this message board and I suspect, myspace.com (if you have a page). Please don't just dismiss her advice by saying - my mistake. I strongly would encourage a hand written journal, contributed only by you and read only by you. Get it? Personal info. I also wonder if you're expecting Andrea to be reading your posts here at S2K - you seem to be directly speaking outloud to her.
Mary
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Josephine96

#34 Postby Josephine96 » Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:31 pm

Andrea doesn't know where I am on the internet and if I know her she probably doesn't give 2 shakes about what I've done online because well, she flat out admitted to me during our relationship that she would still be in chat rooms and talking to bunches of guys..

I can say 1 thing. People like her aren't worth my time. I loved her to death, and she decided to just dump me like a bad habit. Well, her loss.. I KNOW I am a great guy.. I KNOW I am a good person and I KNOW I am too good for her.. I don't need her..

You guys also shld understand 1 thing.. I am broken hearted, frustrated, and well flat out po'd lol.. I am not "dismissing" what anyone says.. I do soak it up and it goes into the mind.. If I reveal too much information, I have a mouth that can be shut or in this case typing fingers that shouldn't be so itchy lol..

Something else just "clicked" into my head about why I believe she did dump me, but I don't entirely feel like discussing it right now. lol..

{jumps off soapbox and apologizes if that sounded arrogant}
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#35 Postby tropicana » Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:12 pm

you didnt sound arrogant. you will be fine! you don't need her! you are a good guy! we all know it..and you will find someone else when the time is right, but until then, enjoy the freedom!

-justin-
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#36 Postby Pburgh » Thu Jan 18, 2007 8:21 am

Some people need to vent more than others and that's OK. If we are the family we say we are, let's listen. If you don't want to reply you don't have to, but some of us don't have friends and family around us to talk to.
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#37 Postby artist » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:37 pm

John - having watched this story unfold it appears to me she did this to you because of her own selfishness. She didn't like your not wanting to move in right away as well as wanting to take the vacation to Tn. before so doing. This tells me she only cared about her own feelings, cared nothing of yours. She did this to try to hurt you - because she did not get her way-not because she didn't care about you. Her problem appears to me she doesn't truly know how to care for another human being. Don't let it get you down - you are very much better off with out her. You need someone that is willing to give of themselves to you as well as you being able to give to them. (which you have no problem with) Take this as a lesson learned - look for someone that can give to you as much as you are able to give to them.
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Josephine96

#38 Postby Josephine96 » Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:30 pm

Thank u Artist! Ur absolutely right about her being selfish. She didn't like me not wanting to move in till April, she didn't want me to take my trip to Nashville.

She is 1 of those who does only care about herself. Until she looks inside herself and sees what she's doing, she'll continue to be like a major hurricane and destroy guys lives {maybe some great 1's too} along the way.

She doesn't know how to care about a human being. She was so destroyed mentally by her last ex before me that it killed her. But that I'm sorry is NO EXCUSE!.

I also did some digging last night, and it appears {I could b wrong} she was CHEATING ON ME b4 we officially broke up. Last week when her and I had a fight, a gentlemen called her. Her response "I'll call you tomorrow cuz I have a FRIEND over" {Not a BF, not her fiancee, a FRIEND}.

Plus, I have lost a lot of respect for Andrea's mom becauze I have a feeling Andrea's mom knew Andrea may have been cheating and didn't even give me a hint of it being so..

{jumps off soapbox cuz I know I'm much better without her}
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Derek Ortt

#39 Postby Derek Ortt » Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:04 pm

some thoughts of mine while reading this thread...


May not be the best to share this type of personal information in public. You are rightfully upset about what she did to you... but then you go about posting her name on the internet, and giving only your side of the story in a forum where it would be very difficult for her to respond. Not good either.

This is what I would advise, seek comfort from your friends and don't be naming names online unless it is OK with that person
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Josephine96

#40 Postby Josephine96 » Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:26 pm

Ok.. Maybe I'll start using code names for people when they anger me.. Not a bad idea Derek, my apologies about that..
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