Last week, the Joke-of-the-Day.com staff writers asked people to send in their favorite euphemisms and sayings for workplace incompetence. Here's a whole list:
He's two raisins short of a fruitcake.
Having him show up is like having 2 good men call in sick!
A Forest Killer - Somebody's who's able to produce paper, but no answers.
He must have donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Not only is he not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he is the spoon in the knife drawer.
Her staircase doesnt go all the way to the top floor.
She has two speeds...slow and stop!
Did he have an extra cup of stupid this morning?
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
Results of a performance review: "I thought this guy's performance had reached rock bottom, but then he started to dig."
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
I've heard of people having an inferiority complex, but in your case it isn't a complex.
Not only does his elevator not go to the top, but the cable's broken.
A "file cabinet wearing a dress" is the way one of our members described one particularly "unbusy" woman.
And in an Information Systems department, one of our members had a term they used for clueless users with silly complaints. They'd call them:
ID ten T errors (ID10T – better spelled IDIOT!)
I suppose every villiage needs at least one idiot...
He's a full six pack, but he's missing the plastic thing that holds them together.
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.
She's as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I am convinced that there are millions of brilliant people in this world...and none of them work for us.
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
I don't think she's plugged in.
The cheese slid off his cracker years ago.
A term used by a member who works in a tech department:
PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
He came in late, but he'll make it up by leaving early.
At one workplace, they call the person who is exempt from the rules and who is not expected to do any work, the boss's "Prize Pig."
She must have checked her brain at the door and lost the claim ticket.
One member worked with a manager who called anyone incompetent, "A waste of skin."
She has delusions of adequacy.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
He is just one taco short of a combination plate.
One member, who works in a library, often says that, "Her book is missing the last chapter."
He's on the fast track to forced retirement.
There's no engineer on THAT train of thought....
It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
Euphemisms for Workplace Incompetence
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