"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[TexasStooge]

China drivers fined for slow-drive on scenic bridge

BEIJING (Reuters) - China opened the world's longest cross-sea bridge last week aiming to cut travel time between two major ports, but hundreds of drivers have been fined already for, unexpectedly, driving too slow to enjoy the view.

The 22.4 mile structure spans Hangzhou Bay in the booming province of Zhejiang, designed to slash travel time between its port city of Ningbo and the financial hub Shanghai from four hours to two and a half.
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They don't call it a scenic bridge for nothin'.
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Connecticut boy takes off Favre jersey for good after 4 yrs

GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) - Finally, David Witthoft shunned his Brett Favre jersey for the first time in 1,581 days.

The Ridgefield, Conn. boy, 12, wore the No. 4 jersey every day since receiving it as a gift for Christmas in 2003. David's father, Chuck Witthoft, said Monday that his son's last day wearing the jersey was April 23 — his 12th birthday.
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I've heard of a Diehard Packers fan, but THAT is outrageously rediculous! I wonder if he got suspended for that long for not wearing a school uniform.

[TexasStooge]

Registering potentially dangerous knives

BEIJING, China (Xinhua) -- Chinese citizens must register their identities when they buy potentially deadly knives, Xinhua quoted the Ministry of Public Security on Tuesday as saying.

The new regulations come as China steps up security ahead of the Beijing Olympics.

The targeted daggers include those with blood grooves, lock-knives, and knives with blades measuring over 22 centimeters, the ministry said in a circular posted on its website, http://www.mps.gov.cn.
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Don't throw that knife at me, Bro!
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Rugby strip show caught on video

VILNIUS (Reuters) - The Austrian national rugby team tried to get over their 48-0 defeat by Lithuania by staging a mass striptease in the capital Vilnius late on Saturday, only to find they had been caught on video and put on the Internet.

The video, put out by a blogger on social community website Virb ([url]http:/www.virb.com/justafa/blog/701053[/url]) and then taken up by the Lithuanian news portal Delfi, showed a group of 20 men singing and stripping off their clothes on a street in central Vilnius, while people in a nearby bar clapped and cheered.
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Smile! You're on the Blogger's Camera!
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Firm in trouble for slum tour with a twist

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - A Rio de Janeiro tour company could be in trouble for giving tourists too intimate a view of life in the city's notorious slums, including photo opportunities with drug gang leaders.

The Brazilian city's tourism chief said on Monday that the company, Private Tours, could be stripped of its license after a report in Sunday's Folha de Sao Paulo newspaper that it had set up meetings between traffickers and tourists.
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Oh, no they didnt!!

[TexasStooge]

Safety in numbers for speeding drivers

BEIJING (Reuters) - Speeding drivers in south China are getting clear away thanks to machines which switch the numbers on their licence plates in seconds, state media said on Tuesday.

"More than 50 percent of cars caught on camera for speeding and other offences either cover up their plates or use a fake licence plate," a traffic policeman in the Guangdong city of Yangjiang was quoted by the Beijing Youth Daily as saying.

"Our chances of capturing them is next to nil."
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(as Ludacris rapping) "Think 12 gon' catch me? Gimme a break! I'm supercharged with the hideaway license plates."
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Building boom drives dump truck thefts

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Forget the luxury cars that cram Moscow's streets: Russian thieves are after dump trucks, cranes and asphalt pavers to feed a booming construction sector.

Thieves have removed 40 Russian-made Kamaz trucks and 13 cranes, cement-mixers and other pieces of heavy machinery from the capital's construction sites in the last three months, local media said on Wednesday.

"Just recently an asphalt-paver was carried away in broad daylight, right off the street," Igor Agapkin, head of the Moscow police's stolen-car investigation department, told the Izvestia newspaper.
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Now they've reached a new low in dork history.
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Non-stick chewing gum firm raises $20 million

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - A British company developing a non-stick chewing gum that can be easily removed from pavements and shoes has raised 10 million pounds ($20 million) to help bring its product to market.

The new financing comes from institutional and private investors, with IP Group -- an early backer -- chipping in an additional 800,000 pounds, the firm said on Wednesday.

Revolymer's new Clean Gum is the result of polymer research at the University of Bristol, where the company was created as a research spin-out in 2005.
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I'm all for it!

[TexasStooge]

Sexy orchids do more than embarrass wasps?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Orchids that mimic female wasps may not only waste the time of the male wasps they lure into spreading their pollen -- they also seduce them into wasting valuable sperm, Australian researchers reported on Wednesday.

And the flowers benefit twice -- getting help in their own reproduction, and perhaps indirectly producing more male pollinators in the process.
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I think I see the female wasps as potential guests on the next Infidelity Lie Detecor tests on Maury. That's gonna "sting".
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You want fries with that? YES!!!!

By Mark Ledsom

BERNE, Switzerland (Reuters) - The Swiss government has agreed to ease restrictions on the importation of potatoes following fears that Euro 2008 soccer fans could face a shortage of French fries next month.

A spokesman for the country's department of agriculture told national radio on Wednesday that the government would allow an additional 5,000 tonnes of potatoes to be brought in.
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I don't wanna hear about another shortage.
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Customers wait hours for 23-cent pizzas in Ohio

By THOMAS J. SHEERAN, Associated Press Writer

UNIVERSITY HEIGHTS, Ohio - Maybe Cleveland Cavaliers fans can hope for cheap gas if an oil company insults All-Star LeBron James.

Lines were so long Thursday at some of the 86 Papa John's stores offering a large, one-topping pizza for 23 cents that police stood nearby to make sure people didn't get unruly.

The Louisville, Ky.-based company agreed to the offer after a franchisee in Washington, D.C., made T-shirts calling star LeBron James a "crybaby." The shirts referred to James' complaints about hard fouls during a playoff series victory over Washington. The company also will donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund.
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I think that's only fair.
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Woman files claim, saying dog feces ruined family outing

NORWALK, Conn. (AP) - A New York woman has filed a $100 claim against Norwalk saying a family outing to the Maritime Aquarium was ruined by dog feces. The woman claims her child's shoes, along with the entire outing, were ruined when her 1-year-old stepped in dog feces outside the Maritime Garage.

City attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said the official response is that her claim is denied and in his words, "poop happens."
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[TexasStooge]

"Self-important and irritating"

LONDON (Reuters) - England is an irritating and insular country full of overweight, binge-drinking, reality TV addicts, a new guide warns tourists.

But in the new Rough Guide to England, the English are also hailed as a nation of animal-loving, tea-drinking charity donors who love nothing better than forming an orderly queue.
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Tell that to the binge-drinkin' reality TV addicts.
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Book lifts lid on star of eerie first Dracula film

By Dave Graham

BERLIN (Reuters) - The first screen portrayal of Dracula was so eerie, some critics asked whether the actor himself could be a vampire. But since his death, little has been done to resurrect Max Schreck's reputation -- until now.

Schreck is best remembered for playing the cadaverous vampire Count Orlok in F.W. Murnau's 1922 silent classic "Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror," the first, unauthorized cinematic adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel Dracula.
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Talk about a possible real-life "Moonlight".
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Australian pokes shark in eye to survive mauling

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - An Australian swimmer says he survived a mauling by a 16-foot shark by wrestling with the beast, finally getting free by poking it in the eye.

The shark, believed to be a great white, seized Jason Cull by the left leg as he was swimming at Middleton Beach in southwestern Australia on Saturday.

The shark was one of three that swimmers reported seeing at the beach Saturday. Officials closed the beach after the attack.
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If all else fails, use one of "The Thre Stooges" moves.
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Hundreds strip for naked photo shoot in Austria

VIENNA, Austria (AP) - The man behind the camera had three requests for his subjects: no sunglasses, no smiling, and no underwear.

The latest work by New York photographer Spencer Tunick gathered 1,840 people, baring it all in Austria's Happel Stadium on Sunday.

"Stay very still. Don't move," the Austria Press Agency quoted Tunick as telling the crowd as he went to work.
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I hope this is "Art" related.

[TexasStooge]

A new wrinkle in smoking enforcement...

TOKYO (Reuters) - Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow's feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke.

The legal age for smoking in Japan is 20 and as the country's 570,000 tobacco vending machines prepare for a July regulation requiring them to ensure buyers are not underage, a company has developed a system to identify age by studying facial features.
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But you know underage smokers can't take the hint.
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Olympics bonuses tailored to prevent squandering

By Martin Petty

BANGKOK (Reuters) - Thailand is offering its athletes big cash incentives for Olympic gold medals -- but will pay out in installments to stop them squandering it.

Gold medalists will earn 10 million baht ($314,000), silver medal winners will take six million baht, while a bronze is worth four million baht -- sizable sums in a country where the minimum wage is just 203 baht ($6) a day.
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Nice!! But I wonder how much that's gonna be abused?
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Play of the Day: Clinton's rise and shine surprise

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - Doris Smith went downtown early Monday to see about getting tickets to Barack Obama's rally. Advance seats were sold out, she said, and the only option was to stand in line for up two hours or more and hope for the best.

Disappointed, she decided instead to go for breakfast — and walked right into Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign stop.
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A candidate and a voter...betrayed each other.
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Illinois man reclaims stationary bike world record

NAPERVILLE, Ill. (AP) - A suburban Chicago man has reclaimed the Guinness world record for time spent on a stationary bicycle.

George Hood's time isn't official yet, but organizers say he spent about 177 hours over eight days riding a spinning bike at a suburban YMCA.
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In other words, he went somewhere without going anywhere.

[TexasStooge]

Man sues airline over flight spent in toilet

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York man who says he was denied a seat on a five-hour JetBlue flight and was instead told to "hang out" in the plane's bathroom has sued the airline for $2 million, saying he suffered "extreme humiliation."

When Gokhan Mutlu arrived to check in for a JetBlue flight from San Diego to New York in February he was told the flight was full, according to the lawsuit filed in New York State Supreme Court.
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According to a Flight Attendant, she said the seat she had wasn't good enough.
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U. of Okla. freshman, 19, elected mayor of Muskogee

MUSKOGEE, Okla. (AP) - A 19-year-old freshman at the University of Oklahoma was elected mayor Tuesday of Muskogee, a city of 38,000 in the northeastern part of the state.

With all precincts reporting, John Tyler Hammons won with 70 percent of the vote over former Mayor Hershel Ray McBride, said Muskogee County Election Board Secretary Bill Bull.
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The chances of that happening are slim to none.

[TexasStooge]

Green aliens, UFOs said to visit

By Jeremy Lovell

LONDON (Reuters) - Aliens from outer space have been visiting Britain for years and UFO sightings doubled after the film Close Encounters was released in 1977, according to secret files collating reports by members of the public.

The alien craft come in all shapes, sizes and colors but their occupants are uniformly green, the Ministry of Defence files show.
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And many thought Britain was boring. Yeah, right!
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Solar bra brings conservation closer to the heart

TOKYO (Reuters) - Ladies, take your battle for the environment a little closer to your heart with a solar-powered bra that can generate enough electric energy to charge a mobile phone or an iPod.

Lingerie maker Triumph International Japan Ltd unveiled its environmentally friendly, and green colored, "Solar Power Bra" on Wednesday in Tokyo which features a solar panel worn around the stomach.

The panel requires light to generate electricity and the concept bra will not be in stores anytime soon, said Triumph spokeswoman Yoshiko Masuda, as "people usually can not go outside without wearing clothes over it."
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Why not come up with solar clothing?
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9-year-old girl's twin is found inside her stomach

ATHENS, Greece (AP) - A 9-year-old girl who went to hospital in central Greece suffering from stomach pains was found to be carrying her embryonic twin, doctors said Thursday.

Doctors at Larissa General Hospital examined the girl and surgically removed a growth they later discovered was an embryo about six centimeters (more than two inches) long.

"They could see on the right side that her belly was swollen, but they couldn't suspect that this tumor would hide an embryo," hospital director Iakovos Brouskelis said.
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Maybe her mom was eating Hamwinkies.
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Michigan Girl Scout sells 17,328 boxes of cookies

By MARGARET HARDING, Associated Press Writer

DETROIT - A Girl Scout sold 17,328 boxes of the group's signature cookies this year by setting up shop on a street corner, shattering her troop's old mark and probably setting a national record.

Jennifer Sharpe, a 15-year-old from Dearborn, plans to travel to Europe with her troop with the proceeds from her feat.

"It's always been one of those goals I wanted to accomplish," Sharpe said Wednesday.
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:crazy: How can ny seller compete?!?!?

[TexasStooge]

Inmates showcase designs at prison show

By Marie-Louise Gumuchian

MILAN (Reuters) - The models are strutting past and the celebrities are carefully eyeing the collections, but it's not at every fashion show that you see prison guards by the catwalk.

Security was tight as usual at Milan's San Vittore prison on Wednesday, where female inmates, launching their own womenswear line, showcased a collection of three white wedding dresses in a glamorous fashion show in the jail's courtyard.
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So there IS a such thing as a Women's Correctional Facility Pageant?
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Wis. man won't buy gas for 31 days, maybe longer

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) - Brian LaFave couldn't care less how high gasoline prices climb these days — he's parked his pickup truck and is refusing to buy gas for a month, possibly longer.

"The goal is to not use one drop of gas for 31 days," LaFave said, calling it his personal stand against the oil companies.

Now LaFave, 31, is riding his bicycle or walking everywhere he goes. He won't even let friends pick him up unless they already planned on being in the neighborhood.
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Hope he knows what he's doing.

[TexasStooge]

Game of cat and mouse blacks out city

TIRANA (Reuters) - A cat chasing a mouse in Tirana's main power station caused a 72-hour blackout across parts of the Albanian capital, the electricity company said on Friday.

"A cat and a mouse ran into the high-voltage cables," a company spokeswoman said, showing pictures of the electrocuted animals. "We took pictures because we've never had anything like this."
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Seems the "Tom & Jerry" game gets deadlier by the day.
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Oh deer! Man cops wrath of amorous stag

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man was gored in the thigh on Friday by an amorous stag after entering a deer paddock in the middle of the breeding season.

The 26-year-old worker at the tourist farm near Sydney ignored signs on the paddock gate warning people to keep out and was charged by the stag, the husband of the farm's owner told Reuters.

"It was the middle of the rut (breeding season), that is why the animal was acting like it did," Barry Hibbard told Reuters.
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OWW! Guess that Deer's tryin to tell him not to ruin the most intimate moments
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Canadian pierces lover's heart in botched sex game

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian man who asked his lover to carve a heart-shaped symbol on his chest during a rough sex game almost died when she accidentally pressed too hard and punctured his heart, a newspaper said on Thursday.

The Winnipeg Free Press said the 25-year-old woman had been sentenced to three years' probation after she pleaded guilty to assaulting the man in February 2007.
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OK, I've heard of "Rough Sex", but that's a little too much.
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Big, hairy pig attracted gawkers in Wisconsin

VIROQUA, Wis. (AP) - A steady stream of vehicles pulled along the shoulder of the road to get a look at it: an enormous, hairy pig that apparently had been struck and killed by a vehicle.

"I took a look to see if it had any tusks," Andy Sherry of Viroqua said. "If it did, somebody got to them before I did. It was really a big, big pig."

Large populations of the hard-to-find, feral animals are thought to live in southwestern Wisconsin.
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(as Homer Simpson) "Spider Pig Spider Pig does whatever a Spider Pig does..."
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Company to reprint yearbooks after head switching

McKINNEY, Texas (WFAA ABC 8/AP) - School officials say they are appalled by altered photos — including heads on different bodies — in hundreds of McKinney High School yearbooks delivered this week.

Besides the head and body switching, some necks were stretched, one girl's arm was missing, and another girl's head was placed on what appeared to be a nude body, with the chest blurred.

A spokeswoman for Minnesota-based Lifetouch National School Studios Inc. said the alterations were "an unfortunate lapse in judgment" by an employee but didn't believe it was malicious.
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OK, somebody remove the Photoshop program from that Yearbook Company.

[TexasStooge]

Another gherkin for me, please

By Alexandra Hudson

VIENNA (Reuters) - A free guide to be distributed around Vienna to soccer fans visiting for Euro 2008 will advise them how to order Austrian cuisine, flirt with local women, and find their way to the stadium in the thick local dialect.

Essential phrases such as "Ham Se an Kaiserschmoan mit Zwetschknroesta?," "Do you have a sliced sugared pancake with plum compote?" or "Fia mi bitte no a Soizguakn," "another gherkin for me please," are listed with English and German translations.
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I'm sure they're trying to find a way to say "Let me buy you a drink, lady"?

Staying on the food section...OK not related to food, but close enough.
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Sumo dish smasher warned after tantrum

TOKYO (Reuters) - Russian Wakanoho has become the latest sumo wrestler to be given a ticking-off for throwing a tantrum when he smashed a shelf in the fighters' communal bathroom after losing a bout.

The Japan Sumo Association (JSA) warned Wakanoho about his behaviour on Monday after the 19-year-old's temper got the better of him following a loss a day earlier.

"I get a bit upset when I lose," the giant Russian told reporters. "I don't want to break things, but when I see dishes and stuff I just have to smash them."
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Well, don't break 'em then! If ya wanna break somethin', break the habit.
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Like a bull in a china shop, but worse

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German family were stunned when a rampaging bull burst through the back door of their house, charged around the living room, and then left by the front door.

"The animal basically did a tour of the hall, the kitchen and the living room before leaving the building," said Paul Kemen, a spokesman for police in the western city of Aachen on Monday. "It came in the back and went out the front."
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The Bull's been "milking it" for all its worth. Where's the beef?
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Photographer speared by javelin at Utah meet

PROVO, Utah (AP) - A newspaper photographer got a little too close to the action at the state high school track championships — and was speared through the leg by a javelin.

Ryan McGeeney of the Standard-Examiner was spared serious injury in Saturday's mishap, and even managed to snap a photo of his speared leg while others worked to help him.

"If I didn't, it would probably be my editor's first question when I got back," McGeeney said later.
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Be thankful it's not through the lens.
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Mexican donkey jailed for ornery behavior

TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico (AP) - A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.

The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said Monday.

Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills.
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Gives a whole new meaning of Pain In The...nevermind.

[TexasStooge]

Top marks for Italian gourmet jail

By Marie-Louise Gumuchian

VOLTERRA, Italy (Reuters) - In what might be Italy's most exclusive restaurant, security is understandably tight.

On reservation, guests are subjected to a background check. They are admitted in groups, their mobile phones and bags confiscated, and they then submit to metal detector tests.

At the candlelit tables inside a deconsecrated chapel of what was originally a 14th-15th century castle, the meal itself is eaten with plastic cutlery.
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I wonder if this Chef has a lot to do with it.

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$175 burger: you want gold with that?

By Daniel Trotta

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Its creators admit it is the ultimate in decadence: a $175 hamburger.

The Wall Street Burger Shoppe just raised its price from $150 to assure its designation as the costliest burger in the city as determined by Pocket Change, an online newsletter about the most expensive things in New York.

"Wall Street has good days and bad days. We wanted to have the everyday burger (for $4) ... and then something special if you really have a good day on Wall Street," said co-owner Heather Tierney.
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OK, why spend $175 on a Value Meal that costs a few dollars?
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Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address

TOKYO (AP) - When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbor's roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said.

He kept mum with the cops, but began chatting after a few days with the vet.
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Good Parrot!

[TexasStooge]

Burton, Harris, O'Toole and Reed: Hellraisers Inc

By Paul Majendie

LONDON (Reuters) - Richard Burton had no doubt that "God put me on this earth to raise hell."

For Peter O'Toole "Booze is the most outrageous of drugs which is why I chose it."

Richard Harris "loved the excitement of my drinking days. Life is made from memories which is a pity as I don't remember much."
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"God put me on this Earth to raise hell." Isn't that an oxymoron?
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Gum with bark to take bite out of bad breath

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Magnolia bark extract -- a traditional Chinese medicine -- may be the newest weapon in the war on bad breath.

Chewing gum maker Wm Wrigley Jr Co said on Tuesday that it has added a bit of this germ-killing compound to their Eclipse gum and mints. The hope is to not simply mask bad breath, as most strongly flavored mints and gums do, but to kill odor-causing bacteria.

Magnolia bark extract has long been a staple of traditional Chinese medicine. It is used to treat fever, headache and stress -- and has proven effective against germs that cause ulcers. Recent studies have shown it has low toxicity and few side effects.
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HMMm! In other words, I could eat a dozen foods then chew on some of that gum, and not get bad breath? NICE!!
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High gas prices drive farmer to switch to mules

MCMINNVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - High gas prices have driven a Warren County farmer and his sons to hitch a tractor rake to a pair of mules to gather hay from their fields. T.R. Raymond bought Dolly and Molly at the Dixon mule sale last year. Son Danny Raymond trained them and also modified the tractor rake so the mules could pull it.

T.R. Raymond says the mules are slower than a petroleum-powered tractor, but there are benefits.

"This fuel's so high, you can't afford it," he said. "We can feed these mules cheaper than we can buy fuel. That's the truth."
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Guess they're trying to say that Gas companies are making total Jackasses out of themselves.

Speaking of fuel troubles...
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Pilots run out of fuel, pray, land near Jesus sign

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - It seemed like an almost literal answer to their prayers. When two New Zealand pilots ran out of fuel in a microlight airplane they offered prayers and were able to make an emergency landing in a field — coming to rest right next to a sign reading, "Jesus is Lord."

Grant Stubbs and Owen Wilson, both from the town of Blenheim on the country's South Island, were flying up the sloping valley of Pelorus Sound when the engine spluttered, coughed and died.
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Talk about livin' on a Wing and a Prayer.

[TexasStooge]

Bureaucrats get taste of jail

BERLIN (Reuters) - A group of top German government officials found themselves captives of the former East Germany after they were accidentally locked in a prison once run by the defunct communist state's secret police, the Stasi.

Thinking all visitors had left, staff closed up the memorial museum that was previously the Stasi's main jail, and shut the high-ranking representatives from Germany's 16 states inside.

"It was a misunderstanding," said Siegfried Reiprich, deputy director of the complex in eastern Berlin, on Wednesday.
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At that time, they did the "Jailhouse Rock". Nobody's gonna let this group live this moment down.
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Every pupil's dream: the exam with answers on back

LONDON (Reuters) - It sounds like every student's dream -- turning over an exam paper and finding the answers on the back.

But that was what happened to 12,000 lucky British teenagers when they sat their GCSE music exam last week.

The OCR (Oxford, Cambridge and RSA) examination board admitted on Thursday that, because of a "printing error," papers sent to schools had answers to questions on the back page.
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(Looks at back of sheet) "No-No-No! Don't cheat!" "Aww man!"
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Vets install pacemaker in search-and-rescue dog

COLUMBIA, Mo. (AP) - After years of helping authorities look for murder victims and survivors of natural disasters, a search-and-rescue dog named Molly has been rescued herself.

Surgeons at the University of Missouri College of Veterinary Medicine on Thursday installed a pacemaker in the 5-year-old chocolate Labrador retriever's heart. She needed the surgery after being diagnosed with a complete electrical heart blockage.
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Well, a dog's work is never done.
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Top court overturns dead fly-in-water damage claim

OTTAWA (AP) - A man who claimed that he became depressed, anxious and phobic after finding a a dead fly in a bottle of water will no longer get the judgment he won against a bottling company, Canada's top court ruled Thursday.

Martin Mustapha will have to shell out thousands in court costs, instead of collecting the more than $345,000 he won in an Ontario court three years ago.

The Supreme Court of Canada agreed in a 9-0 judgment that Mustapha suffered real psychological harm, but Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin said his reaction was so "unusual or extreme" that bottling company Culligan of Canada Ltd., should not have to pay compensation.
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Well, the fly was protected at the time.

[TexasStooge]

Warning issued over unlicensed sex drugs

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadians should avoid unlicensed drugs that claim to improve sexual performance because they could cause problems such as loss of consciousness, prolonged erections and chest pain, the health ministry said on Friday.

Health Canada issued the warning in a release about a product called Desire, which was found to contain the prescription drug phentolamine -- something not indicated on the label.
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Say no to Fake Drugs.
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Mystery deepens as 4th severed foot found

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Another severed human foot has been discovered washed ashore on Canada's Pacific coast, but police are no closer to solving the gruesome mystery.

The foot, still wearing a shoe, was discovered on Thursday on a small uninhabited island south of Vancouver in the Strait of Georgia, and is the fourth discovered in the region in the past 10 months.

The previous cases all involved right feet still in sneakers, and each was found on a different island.
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Something's "afoot" with this case.
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Cat hired as station chief brings passengers back

By MARI YAMAGUCHI, Associated Press Writer

TOKYO - A money-losing Japanese train company has found the purr-fect pet mascot to draw crowds and bring back business — tabby Tama.

All the 9-year-old female cat does is sit by the entrance of Kishi Station in western Japan, wearing a black uniform cap and posing for photos for the tourists who are now flocking in droves from across the nation.

Tama has been doing such a good job of raising revenue for the troubled Kishikawa train line that she was recently promoted to "super-station-master."
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There's always a "Purr-fect" alternative to bringing back passengers.
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Hair patrol: La. barber ticketed for Monday work

HOUMA, La. (AP) - Police in this town wouldn't cut a break for a barber who ran afoul of an obscure law barring him from working Sundays and Mondays.

Clyde Scott had opened his shop May 19 just to trim up a few students getting ready for their graduation ceremony when an officer gave him a citation.

A law on the books in Houma for decades bars barbers from working Sundays, Mondays, any of several holidays and even the day after Labor Day.
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If I was to open a Barber Shop and I'm asked to take these days off, I'd do it.

[TexasStooge]

Earlier, dizzyfish sent me this interesting story and I think this is worth posting.
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Fla. man selling ghosts

St. Johns County, Fla. (WTSP CBS 10) - A St. Augustine man is selling containers filled with what he describes as ghosts.

John Deese said he has ghosts trapped in bottles. “This was actually the first one that was caught, in Decatur County, Ga., in an old farmhouse,” Desse said, showing off one ghost in a bottle.

While Deese said he contracts with professional ghost catchers around the country and that it’s the ghost catchers who actually stuff the phantasms into a bottle, he wouldn’t elaborate on exactly how the ghosts get into the bottles.
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Whatever you do, don't turn 'em loose in anyway...no matter how you wanna haunt your bullies.
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If anybody here has an odd news story in their area worth posting here, go ahead and do so.

[TexasStooge]

"Flintstones" arrested in car emissions protest

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - "Fred and Wilma Flintstone" were arrested as they approached the European Parliament on Monday to protest about the influence of the auto industry on proposals to curb carbon dioxide emissions from cars.

Six Greenpeace activists dressed as cavemen and traveling in a Flintstones-style vehicle were detained along with three others for public order offences, police said.

A stone tablet accusing car lobbyists of driving climate change was confiscated before it could be delivered to lawmakers, a Greenpeace spokeswoman said.
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(as Fred Flintstone) BARNEY!!!!!! Help me out here! Get my Fruit Pebbles--oh darn, he's been eating them all!
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Church calls zombie parade blasphemous

MADRID (Reuters) - A procession of devils, ghosts and zombies through the historic Spanish city of Toledo has been branded blasphemous by the Catholic Church.

Actors from the Morboria theatre company performed a representation inspired by the medieval Dance of Death in Toledo's streets on Saturday, provoking an angry reaction from the cathedral pulpit the following day.

"We ask forgiveness for those who yesterday insulted the body of Christ," said Archbishop Antonio Canizares, quoted in newspaper El Pais.
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Zombie Parades? What about Gay Marriages?
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Student's perfect attendance results in new car

CONSTANTINE, Mich. (AP) - Andria Baker has pretty much always been present. From the first day of kindergarten through her last day of high school, Baker somehow made it to school for every day of classes, despite colds and sports injuries. Why? If she kept it up, her father promised her a car.

Baker kept up her end of the bargain, willing herself to go to school on those days when she felt under the weather. She notched her 13th year of uninterrupted classroom attendance with her final day at Constantine High School on Friday.
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Hey, I had Perfect Attendance too! Why does she get a car and I don't?
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Skydiver's helium balloon takes off without him

NORTH BATTLEFORD, Saskatchewan (AP) - A French skydiver's latest attempt to set a new free-fall record ended when his ride to the sky left without him.

The helium balloon Michel Fournier was going to use Tuesday to soar to the stratosphere detached from the capsule he was going to use to jump from 130,000 feet.

It happened after the balloon was inflated on the ground at the airport in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. The balloon drifted away into the sky without the capsule.
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So don't expect an event like this on ABC's "Good Morning America".

[TexasStooge]

Baby put up for sale on Craigslist?

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - A couple has been arrested in what Canadian police said on Tuesday was an apparent offer to sell a seven-day-old baby girl on Craigslist for C$10,000 ($10,100).

A woman who saw the offer on the popular website alerted police who tracked down the 23-year-old mother and 26-year-old father using a cell phone number that was listed in the advertisement.
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If they didn't want a baby, why did they have one in the first place?
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Vietnam reports "UFO" explosion

HANOI (Reuters) - An unidentified flying object exploded in mid-air over a southern Vietnamese island, state media said Wednesday, a day after Cambodia's air force retracted a report of a mysterious plane crash.

The Vietnam News Agency said residents of Phu Quoc island, 10 km (6 miles) off the coast of the Cambodian province of Kampot, found shards of grey metal, including one 1.5 meters (1.5 yards) long.

"The explosion happened at about 8 km (5 miles) above the ground, and perhaps it was a plane, but authorities could not identify whether it was a civil or military aircraft," VNA said in a report headlined "UFO explodes over Phu Quoc Island."
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Then come to find out that a couple Rednecks are shooting up "Chopped & Screwed" rap CDs.
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Astronauts to deliver pump for balky space toilet

By MARCIA DUNN, AP Aerospace Writer

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - NASA rushed Wednesday to get a special pump on board shuttle Discovery to fix a balky toilet at the international space station, as the launch countdown got under way.

The space station's Russian-built toilet has been acting up for the past week. The three male residents have temporarily bypassed the problem, which involves urine collection, not solid waste.

Russian space officials are providing the pump to launch aboard Discovery on Saturday. The shuttle's seven astronauts arrived at Kennedy Space Center a few hours ahead of the start of countdown Wednesday afternoon.
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"Houston, we have a problem."
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Houston to spend $150K to defend police beard ban

HOUSTON (AP) - City officials are apparently willing to dig deep to defend the police department's ban on beards.

The Houston City Council on Wednesday unanimously authorized spending up to $150,000 to defend the city in a lawsuit challenging the no-facial hair policy.

"The lawsuit is pending and we have to defend ourselves," Councilman Ron Green said. "But we're basically saying we want new police officers, but we don't want police officers with beards."
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(wearing Phony Beard) "Houston, we have a problem."

[TexasStooge]

[urlhttp://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080529/od_nm/delta_suit_dc]Lawyer sues Delta for ruining family vacation[/url]

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York lawyer is suing Delta Air Lines for $1 million, saying his family vacation turned into a nightmare after they were stranded in an airport for days and treated disdainfully by airline employees.

Richard Roth, who filed the lawsuit on behalf of himself and his mother, said he planned the Christmas 2007 trip to Buenos Aires to celebrate his mother's 80th birthday. She had grown up in the city, but had not returned in years, he said.

Instead, Roth, his two teenage children, his wife and mother spent three days in airports, went days without their luggage, were treated rudely by airline employees and were forced to spend $21,000 on unused hotel rooms in Argentina, replacement clothes, and other costs.
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This prompted another reality show: watch "Hell's Airport"...coming soon to an airport near you.
(as Gordon Ramsay) "We're being sued, you useless (Bleep)s. Oh, (Bleep) me senseless."
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Space station incommoded by broken toilet

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Astronauts aboard the NASA space shuttle Discovery will be carrying an extra piece of cargo when they launch on Saturday -- a new toilet pump.

Crew members aboard the International Space Station have been fumbling with plastic bags since their zero-gravity toilet went made "a loud noise" and stopped working properly last week.

"We will be taking some spare parts up," NASA spokesman Allard Beutel said in a telephone interview on Wednesday.
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Houston, we('re gonna) have a problem.

[TexasStooge]

Obama resigns from controversial church

By Deborah Charles

ABERDEEN, South Dakota (Reuters) - Democratic presidential front-runner Barack Obama has resigned from Trinity United Church of Christ, his spokesman said on Saturday, further distancing himself from a source of controversy as he gears up for the general election.

Controversial sermons at Obama's longtime church in Chicago have plagued the Illinois senator, who is close to clinching the Democratic nomination to run against Republican John McCain in the November election.

Obama's spokesman, Robert Gibbs, gave no details, but said Obama had sent a letter resigning from the church he has attended for 16 years. Obama, who would be the first black U.S. president, was expected to make some comments on his decision later in the day, Gibbs said.
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Nothing like that surprises me anymore.
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Fox News worker sues over bedbugs in office

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A Fox News employee who says she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder after being bitten by bedbugs at work filed a lawsuit on Thursday against the owner of the Manhattan office tower where she worked.

Jane Clark, 37, a 12-year veteran of Fox News, a unit of News Corp, said she complained to human resources after being bitten three times between October 2007 and April 2008. She said she was ridiculed and the office was not treated for months.

Beacon Capital Partners, which owns the tower in midtown Manhattan, said in a statement that it had not been made aware of the problem and that it was the responsibility of tenants to manage infestations.
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No wonder nobody watches Fox News.
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Man unearths box filled with Depression-era cash

By DINESH RAMDE, Associated Press Writer

MILWAUKEE - Dan Deming had heard the rumors about the buried treasure on his central Wisconsin farm.

At first he made some halfhearted attempts to find it, and then searched in earnest for two or three years after receiving a metal detector for his birthday.

"I don't know what I thought, if I thought it was really there or not," he said.
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Some have all the luck...
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British rowers try to cross the Atlantic Ocean

NEW YORK (AP) - Four men, one 29-foot rowboat — and about 3,200 miles to go. A team of rowers from the United Kingdom set out from the Hudson River on Sunday to try to cross the Atlantic Ocean. They hope to end at the Isles of Scilly, a group of small islands off England's southwestern tip.

The boat has an electronic tracking system, and a Web site dedicated to the effort says the rowers had gone 37 miles as of Sunday night. They hope to break a record of 55 days and 13 hours, set by two Norwegian-Americans in 1896.

The rowers are expected to take turns, with two people rowing in two-hour shifts and then switching off. They range in age from 19 to 43 and have been training for more than a year.
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They could've done riskier, they could've swam across the Atlantic...wait, well then some will end up in the Bremuda Triangle.