GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST

[Stephanie]

You're probably right Karan - as the saying goes, "If I only knew then what I know now". Well I didn't and couldn't possibly have.

Yum! The coffee smells wonderful! Thanks!

[ColdFront77]

Joshua, I have seen you here quite a bit (making posts), considering all the other things you do online.

[weatherlover427]

I guess I should at least say what I can that won't get me banned... thanks to Miss Mary for helping me build the courage to do this ...

There are some things on this board that bother me. Those things are why I don't come here much anymore. One of the main reasons is the excessive posting issue. What I mean by that is you know how we are encouraged to post, right? I started doing that and people (no names will be mentioned so as to not make it seem like a personal attack) started picking on me for how fast I was posting. Hey, I can't help how fast my DSL is. I am sorry if I offended you with my super fast posting. I refuse to go back to dial-up; but I will try to slow down in posting a bit.

Another thing is there are other people who are doing the same thing that I did (again no names will be mentioned) and nothing is being done about them. Why is that? Is it because I have two mental disabilities and they don't? I sure hope not. I hate to even think of the possible reactions if that was to be the case.

Third, I hate being ignored. There have been many times in chat where I have said something and it has gone unnoticed. That has caused me to get mad and leave. I bet it is my problems that cause it, and I hope that you all forgive me for it.

Fourth, one of my biggest pet peeves ever is constantly having to repeat myself. I cannot stand saying something and then having to repeat the same exact thing over and over and sometimes a couple of more times before the other person finally understands WTheck I am talking about. That has always driven me nuts and it probably always will at this rate.

I think I have said it all for now.

[FreakyWxChick]

Wow,

This board is incredibly so supportive. I am just in awe of you guys! If I had posted this elsewhere I would have gotten replies back to stop whining, the govt doesn't owe me anything etc etc..

I have contacted 2 lawyers here in town and I saw two in Pittsburgh that supposedly specialize in my illness. I will interview the ones here in town first. If I don't like them I will go to Pittsburgh. I have about 56 days left to appeal so time is not an issue at this point as far as legalities go. The money issue is a totally different thing, so time is extremely an issue on this point.

All of my life I took the value of money for granted. If someone owed me $20, I would tell them not to worry about it. $20 was nothing. It's funny when you are forced to count pennies to put enough gas into your tank to last a week how your perspective of a simple $20 bill changes.

When I was a manager for a large retail chain, I remember a man who always stood at the entrance of our parking lot. Everyday he held a sign in his hands that read "Help a Brother out........" I never looked long enough to read the entire sign. He had a very convienent place to stand. He stood at the only entrance and exit to our parking lot. If I was leaving work, ninety percent of the time I would be stuck at the light. I would be forced to endure either looking at this man and tell him I had no money (which was a lie), or avoiding looking in his direction while seeing him out of the corner of my eye. I often chose to stare intently at the stop light as if it were the most intriguing thing in the world.

It's amazing how God can humble us. They saying until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes is so profound!

Anyhow I am rambling. Thanks again for your warm thoughts and support. A few prayers wouldn't hurt either I will make it through this and I will win.

God Bless us all!
Freaky

[Pburgh]

Freaky, you definitely have my prayers. There are many lawyers here in the Burgh that would take the case and take a % of what you get. I've never been to any of them but maybe your Doctor can direct you. His persistence in this case is soooooo very important. Keep on him to reply to all the requests he gets from the Gov., and believe me he will get them all the time. As far as your depression, please, please seek some help. Depression is nothing to fool around with. It's as if not more destructive than a physical illness. ((hugs)) to you and your kids.

Joshua, thanks for stating the problems you've been having. I hope I have never offended you cause, I enjoy your posts. I don't think anyone here would intentionally do that. Sometimes when people type things they come out different than if they talk to you in person. I know I have a habit of "reading things into posts" and believe me, I'm not good at that. ((Hugs)) to you. Hang in there buddy.
Karan

[pojo]

Where was this topic on Thursday when I needed it! j/k... I was installing a CD-RW drive on my laptop and nothing was going write....I mean nothing!!!! I had to take the first drive back...and then had to exchange it for another one.....after fighting with the drive for hours....I looked for my WIN ME CD....I dont' have one, but I have a Compaq CD that had the driver installation directions on it........

Then my puter starting acting up.....pain in the royal arse!!!!!!! It would constantly freeze.......time after time! After burning CD's, I deleted some files and all has been fine since then.

For my High Altitude Balloon Project that I am working on in association with NASA, I need to download a program, but unfortunately, I do not have a zip drive, so I can't download the program grrr!!! (That's my portion of the project....gee thanks!)]

For those of you that saw me on MSN Messenger....you probably noticed the saying on Thursday....... "4 goods, many bads and uglies, too many to count....so don't ask!"

[Miss Mary]

Stephanie - we have a lot in common I see! Always suspected that. Like Karan says, your past and your struggles are what made you who you are today - a very caring person.

Joshua - I appreciate you opening up to us. I for one will never attack you, so rest easy there. And I'd have to say 99.9% of us, hopefully, will not do so. And if anyone has, well, I truly believe if you PM them and try to work it out, it just might work out. If not, then just avoid that person. Just my 2 cents. Not meant to be preachy. Hang in there and again, thanks for venting!

Pojo - somehow with all that is going on in your life - you are one busy girl - you'd love this topic. So check in. School is challenging to say the least!!!

Everyone - have a good night! Thanks for the tea Karan, as always.

Steve - we sure are on the same page, many times too. I also now would sit next to a friend in the hospital, holding their hand if need be. 20 years ago - sure hope I would have had the courage to do that.

Night all!

[streetsoldier]

Shannon, you are a paragon of altruism...you build (!) when others simply sit back and complain.

Joshua, no one should have reason to "attack" your posts...that's why the Staff is here. We are just a PM away.

Karan, what can I say? You are a friend indeed!

Poppysky, your wisdom leaves us all in awe...keep it coming!

Stephanie, you need to divorce what "triggers" you to wrath, and choose NOT to permit...this is a good "tool", and worthy of cultivating.

WxChick, use the law to your advantage; those attorneys are worth the extra investigation, and your children are also at stake. Do what you must, OK?

As for me...well, I do have much on my plate, but I also have YOU wonderful people to see me through the "times that try men's souls"...and I DO listen and implement your collective advice. The best thing I can do is to constantly remember that I am NOT alone...that I DO matter, and that I am worthy and worthwhile.

End of sermonette; collection plate is near the door as you leave.

[Stephanie]

Joshua - I too am glad that you did finally get at least most of what was bothering you off of your chest. I can understand the way you feel about the posting issue and if you feel like you are being treated unfairly or as it probably is the case, maybe the other posts at issue have just not come to the admin's attention, then you should let someone know. As far as repeating yourself, or feeling like people are ignoring you, all I can say is that I do read alot of the posts, but I don't necessarily answer all of them. Sometimes, depending on the topic, I choose not to because it either bothers me too much, I don't want to start anything, etc. In other words, I choose my battles . It's not about ignoring you - I'm sorry if your felt that I have. I admire everything that you've gone through and how you've gained your independence and are living an active, healthy lifestyle!

Shannon - believe me, there are times where I can imagine my fist going through my PC (home and at work). They always seem to breakdown or act up when you need them the most! Murphy's Law!

Thanks for the words of advice Bill and everyone else! Believe me, my wrath does not go to extremes like that anymore - my "happy pills" don't allow it! Seriously, I do tend to hold back (didn't I start with this in the beginning?) my comments and feelings before I react. I think it also has to do with a confidence issue - not wanting to sound dumb AND not wanting to hurt another's feelings unnecessarily. You know the saying "Do Unto Others..." - I live by that. However, there will be an occassion where when I've had enough, FINALLY figured out that the problem isn't necessarily with me and that I'm actually being used and taken advantage of - WATCH OUT! Nothing to lose and all to gain!

I'm SO GLAD that Karan started this topic! It seems like we've got alot of healing going on today!

[Lindaloo]

Very good advice you have given Bill, as usual.

Josh I read all your posts and have enjoyed them all. I do not think the admins were talking about you when the announcement was made about trying to get the post counts up. I am sure sometimes alot on this board would wish I did not post at all. lol.

Wish I was alot like you Steph about choosing my battles. But if you have noticed, I am getting much better at staying out of controversy. Can you believe that one?!!! lol. I just sit back and say "Aw this thread is not worth it" I have inserted my foot in mouth in the past on here too and hurt someone. I catch it before the damage is done. So now, I just steer clear all together.

Thanks to Bill's advice, I NOW have learned to choose battles with my teens. If I did not regroup and do that, I would have definitely gone insane.

(((HUGS))) Karan, Steph and Mary. You three are ones I can learn from.

[Stephanie]

Wish I was alot like you Steph about choosing my battles. But if you have noticed, I am getting much better at staying out of controversy. Can you believe that one?!!! lol. I just sit back and say "Aw this thread is not worth it" I have inserted my foot in mouth in the past on here too and hurt someone. I catch it before the damage is done. So now, I just steer clear all together.

I have noticed Lindaloo - sometimes I still can't help myself!

It's okay to disagree with a post or someone else's opinion and I'm sure we'll have some really good, but spirited discussions in the future. Sometimes though you need just to take a step back and say enough - your point was made and it's not worth the aggravation nor the hurting of each other's feelings to go any farther!


(((((HUGS))))) to ALL of my buddies here on this board!

[streetsoldier]

The greatest gift I can offer, especially to those of us who suffer from situational depression and/or anxiety, is that we must keep in mind that "this is TEMPORARY"...and act accordingly.

When suicidal thoughts/feelings drop as a dark curtain, remember that "suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem" (another Shelley masterpiece); and that there is always SOMEONE to talk things out with, if you have the need; some of those are right here, and when in dire straits, use the PM button.

[ColdFront77]

It is very easy to miss what someone is saying in a (the) chatroom. When there is so much being said. Comments and questions I have put out while conversations were going on were never even acknowledged.

But, for the most part, I have no "problems" corresponding with those that access the chatroom.

[Stephanie]

The greatest gift I can offer, especially to those of us who suffer from situational depression and/or anxiety, is that we must keep in mind that "this is TEMPORARY"...and act accordingly.

When suicidal thoughts/feelings drop as a dark curtain, remember that "suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem" (another Shelley masterpiece); and that there is always SOMEONE to talk things out with, if you have the need; some of those are right here, and when in dire straits, use the PM button.

By all means! Please feel free to pm away to me!

Not to be totally morbid - hopefully alittle more helpful than not. But it's amazing to me how I can't BEGIN to remember how hopeless and confused I felt when I was depressed. I just know it's something that I never want to live through again and I will if I don't take medication. IF you are feeling suicidal, it's more of a request for help - you want the pain to go away. Sleeping helped me to escape and in the darkness of the moment, suicide seduces you into thinking that permanently sleeping is the only way to escape the pain. DO NOT BE AFRAID to call a doctor, go to the hospital, call a friend, whatever. Also, I remember I was so afraid about the "stigma" of having a nervous breakdown - losing my credibility at work, having people afraid of me, etc. What I found was that everyone was so supportive and understanding. You have an illness, and IF the health insurance groups/government ever truly recognizes this, you will have coverage that will not put limits on the number of times you can visit or get reimbursed for "an episode" . It's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of - get help!!!!

[azskyman]

The best thing I can do is to constantly remember that I am NOT alone...that I DO matter, and that I am worthy and worthwhile.

Bill's words apply to all of us. Same with Stephanie's below!

It's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of - get help!!!!

Shannon...as for your computer and other "glitches"...I know how frustrating those can be. And they do seem to run one into another. But they do eventually get resolved.

Josh...hang in there. We're all here for the right reasons. Yourself included.

Quite a day at this here "leanin' post!"

[weatherlover427]

I feel a lot better now that I got that off my chest . But the sunburn I got at the beach while trying to get my mind off of the situation didn't help any. Thanks everyone for your support, no one that has posted in here so far is to blame for anything of what I said in my rant above.

[Lindaloo]

I feel a lot better now that I got that off my chest . But the sunburn I got at the beach while trying to get my mind off of the situation didn't help any. Thanks everyone for your support, no one that has posted in here so far is to blame for anything of what I said in my rant above.

If your sunburn is stinging Josh, put some toothpaste on it. It will take the sting out in about 3 seconds. Trust me, it works.

[j]

I have gotten myself into more trouble in the past because I can't hold my tongue when I witness what I consider a grave injustice. My wife tells me to just let it go, but I can't.

Here is a recent scenario: I'm in line at Hardee's...just like everybody else...waiting. There is a big black man behind me, cell phone to his head, beeper on his belt, and dressed like your freindly neighborhood crack dealer. Orders are taken, people pile up waiting for there orders. Things are slow but that's the way it goes. If I don't like it, I just won't ever come back. The black guy gives his order and has at least half a dozen special requests...tomatoes on the side....extra crispy on the tator tots...who know the type. Well he decides that his order for some reason is more important than anybody elses and starts bullying his way in front of people demanding his order, portions of which are still cooking! In the end...what happens is the girl behind the counter, who was also black, gave this man his items ahead of me and several others! He was telling them he was a busy man, and in a hurry!! etc..etc... SO F*****G whaT! I flew off the handle and started ranting and raving right in front ot this jerk. I demanded to speak to the Manager to find out if this was there standard policy to cater to the demands of a big black guy because of his "presence". All the while..this jerk who was in so big of a freakin' hurry, was mandering about, food in hand, smiling and obviously pleased with the fact that he had gotten his way. He left the store and came back 2 times to get a straw and then napkins. I was livid, and lost my head as my wife so promptly let me know. I had her crying..she thought I was going to get pummelled...and I get in these situations and I don't care...I get so mad!

That is my rant...anybody thinking that they are more important than the next person. I tried to explain to my wife that this is the way this jerk leads his life all the time, not just at Hardee's. She told me it was small stuff (and I agree after the fact), and it wasn't worth getting myself pummelled by what surely would have been a mass beating if I had gone out into the parking lot.

Ok..I'm done

[raine]

Yet another wellspring of hope has sprung up in a place that feels like home.God is indeed at work here,faith, grace are in action...wisdom, comfort, encouragement abound in this thread...

God Bless each and everyone!

Raine

[Miss Mary]

Linda - didn't know about toothpaste! We use Noxema for sunburn. It instantly lowers your skin temp, and smells a bit too, but it's soothing, especially when you can't sleep when you're sunburned. Having blue eyes and fair skin, I've had my share of sunburns Joshua - not fun! Now we use 30 sunblock. I give up on ever really trying to get a tan.

J - I too go up to people, sometimes. I probably wouldn't have done what you did in Hardee's but just yesterday at a local putt putt place, with pond, waterfalls and huge goldfish (that's not their name, but they're about 8 to 10 inches long, gold colored) some teenagers thought it funny to feed the fish (with their mouths wide open for food you buy with a quarter) lit cigarrettes. I just walked right over to them and said - was that cig (it was the butt) still lit when you did that? Oh no Maam, they said. I said, well, that could be considered animal abuse (a big deal to me these days, don't get me started). They're all looking at eachother and I'm thinking oh here it comes but all they did was walk over for their clubs. To start the game. Just a little thing but was I going to sit still? No way! Sevral groups came over to this spot after playing their games and they thought it was terrible (yes I was telling people what these teens did) too. And I have 2 good teens - not to make the rest of you teens look bad out there. What's with people - enjoying harming others and taking pleasure in it? Sick if you ask me. I know, it was just goldfish. But I shudder to think what these teens would do to a cat or dog.