Financial perspective - humor

[mf_dolphin]

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you
will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have
$33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you
will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the
beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have
received a $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily &
recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol
a year.

That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you proud to be an American!

[mf_dolphin]

Here's another one New financial terms in light of today's market.....

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. (It was difficult to find in my Thesaurus ....)

[Dionne]

Whats left of our stock portfolio still lists WorldCom......it's value is .0001 per share. We lost thousands.

At about the same time we purchased PetMeds while it was still a penny stock.....today it's trading at $14.27. A $160 investment is now worth $28,540.

Go figure.