How hard is it to say no?

[coriolis]

Our dollar store is always having some campaign going where they have a jar by the checkout for you to put your change into for some charity or anonther.

Lately, the checkers have been instructed to ask if you'd like to donate your change to _______ . If a customer agrees the checker puts the change in the jar.

I've observed how people react to that. Many seem to get flustered and feel pressured to do so, and agree. Others seem a little more reluctant but agree. Some make comments, act annoyed, or have other negative reactions, but still agree. A few will say "no thank you" and some will say something to the effect that they need the change. Many will furtively glance to see if anyone else is in line behind them before showing any reaction. It's all very interesting to see how people react to that.

I do not like to give under compulsion like that. If you are pressured, it's not really giving from the heart. It's giving to avoid guilt, or to avoid looking cheap to the next person in line.

I went through the range of responses myself. I tried saying "no thank you" but that seems too insincere or even apologetic. I tried saying that I need the change for a parking meter or some other lame excuse, but that's dishonest. Finally I just decided to give a firm, sincere, and pleasant "No" with no explanation. That seems like the best way to handle it. The checker doesn't care why; in fact they hate having to ask for it. Management has decided that they must do it, and that's that.

One way to avoid it is to pay by debit card or check so there's no change. Another way is to count out the exact amount of the purchase and pay that way.

Any way, it's just a little thing that I've been working through. The most satisfying thing is to be able to say no in such a way that ends it decisively, without guilt, and without compulsion. If I want to give, I'll just put the money in the jar myself.

[Stephanie]

I think that does put the customers in an awkward position. They should just have jars or containers sitting there for the charities and let the customers decide.