Understanding the Female Point System (FPS)

[angelwing]

Understanding the Female Point System (FPS)



For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.

Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system: FOR THE MALE,

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed .............................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-2
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............+5
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the rain.............................................. .....+8
But return with beer..........................................-1
And no panty liners..........................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....................+1
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her cat............................................... ..-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party..........................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a school
Drinking buddy............................................. ...-2
Named Tiffany........................................... ......-5
Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10
With breast implants.........................................-20

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....................................+1
You buy a card and flowers....................................+2
You take her out to dinner....................................+5
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.........+10
Okay, it is a sports bar.....................................-10
And it's all-you-can-eat night...............................-20
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team.............................-30




A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal............................................... .. 0
The pal is happily married................................... +1
The pal is single............................................-10
He drives a Ferrari..........................................-20
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)..................-30

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.......................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.............................+5
You take her to a movie you hate..............................+8
You take her to a movie you like..............................-5
It's called Death Cop III....................................-10
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.......................-20
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-30

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly............................-5
You develop a noticeable pot belly & get rid of it...........+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans

and baggy Hawaiian shirts....................................-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".............-100

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding...................................-10
You reply, "Where?"...................................... ....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's you’re a$$"....................-100

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................+1
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You have fallen asleep......................................-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.............................................. ......-100
You don't talk.............................................. .-10
You spend time with her.....................................-100
You don't spend time with Her...............................-100
You are seen enjoying yourself..............................-100

[arkess7]

[mf_dolphin]

hmmmm -742 points. Is that bad?

[abajan]

Thanks, angelwing. I'll print it and keep it in my first aid kit.

[CajunMama]

hmmmm -742 points. Is that bad?

[bvigal]

This sounds about right...

Where's the point system for us ladies to use?

[Category 5]

According to my girlfriend, me sending her flowers on her birthday was +10.

[Category 5]

This sounds about right...

Where's the point system for us ladies to use?

Provide beer and nachos every fall sunday +100

[mf_dolphin]

Open beer and serve in a short dress +200

[Category 5]

"Roleplaying" +500

[somethingfunny]

"Roleplaying" +500

"Roleplaying games" -10000000

[DESTRUCTION5]

Open beer and serve in a short dress +200

Accidentally forgetting to wear something under the short dress ....+Infinity

[mf_dolphin]

hmmmm I see a common thread to the male point system

[Category 5]

Something I can't say on this board +1,000,000

[lurkey]

Something I can't say on this board +1,000,000

probably it's good thing you can't say it on this board - something worth +1,000,000 on the MPS is more likely than not worth -1,000,000 on FPS

[bvigal]

you guys are so easy...!

[olddude]

you guys are so easy...!

No doubt about that.

[coriolis]

The Male Point System

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed .............................................+0
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-0
You don't mind if he actually uses the decorative
pillows to sleep on...........................................+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-0
You leave the toilet seat down................................-0
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............+1
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-0
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-0
You go out to buy him beer ...................................+5
in the rain...................................................+0
But return with extra-light panty liners with wings,
saving him a trip.............................................+8
And no beer..................................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night yourself............+5
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing, and he
doesn't have to get up.........................................+2
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+0
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
You bent the six iron..................................... ..-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by his side the entire party.........................-50
You stay by his side for a while, then leave to chat with a school
Drinking buddy............................................. ...-2
Named Rocky........................................... ......-5
Rocky is a body builder....................................-10
With a corvette..............................................-20
You develop a fascination with corvettes...........-200

HIS BIRTHDAY
You remember his birthday.....................................+1
You buy a card and flowers....................................+0
You take him out to dinner....................................+5
You take him out to dinner and you pay for it.................+25
You take him out to dinner and it's a sports bar.,,,,,........+10
It's not a sports bar........................................-10
And it's all-you-can-eat night...............................+20
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your
face is painted the colors of your favorite team................+30




A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS
Go with a pal................................................. 0
The pal is happily married.................................. -50
The pal stops by your place to pick you up....................+1
The pal is single and named Holly.............................+10
She drives a Ferrari..........................................+20
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...................+30
Holly has breast inplants.....................................+40
You say that you want a Ferrari...............................-50

A NIGHT OUT WITH HIM
You take him to a movie.......................................+2
You pay for it...............................................+10
You take him to a movie he likes..............................+5
You take him to a movie you hate..............................-5
You take him to a movie and pretend you like it...............+5
It's called Death Cop III....................................+10
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.......................+20
You lied and said it was a foreign film about prostitutes....-50

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly............................-5
You develop a noticeable pot belly & get rid of it...........+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans
and baggy Hawaiian shirts....................................+30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."................0

THE BIG QUESTION
You ask, "Does this dress make me look fat?"................-200
You realize that this is an impossible question..............+10
You apologize for asking ....................................+50
You never even ask the question and feel confident in
any dress...................................................+100

COMMUNICATION
When he wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................+1
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5
You relate to his problem and share a similar experience.....-50
You tell him that you're sure that he'll figure it out.......+50
You point out his mistake...................................-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk......................................................-1
You don't talk...............................................+10
You spend time with him.......................................+0
You don't spend time with Him.................................-0
You see him enjoying himself and you don't mind about it....+100