And the Police Officer Said

[angelwing]

And the Police Officer Said:


1. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder
than the one you just went through..'

2. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

3. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make
your birth certificate a worthless document.'

4. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

5. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be
chasing you.'

6. 'You don't know how fast you were going?
I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the
ticket, huh?'

7. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but
I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?

8. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning
you not to do that again or I'll give you another
ticket.'

9. 'The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a
dog?'

10. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and
corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

11. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and
my wife gets a toaster oven.'

12. 'In God we trust, all others we run through
NCIC.'

13. 'How big were those ' two beers ' you say
you had?'

14. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used
to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.

15. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is
a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can
post your bail.'