Two Massachusetts Teens Suspended in Cyber Bullying Suicide

[Ptarmigan]

Wah!!Wah!!Wah!!

Someone should call the Whambulance!

[MGC]

My eldest son was bullied when we lived in California back in the 80's. Every day he would come home from school and complain about the bullies. I finally told him to pick out the biggest bullie and haul off and punch him in the nose as hard as you could. He finally developed the courage to puch out the bully. No one bullied my son after that. Now I'm sure in todays enlightened age my son and I would be thrown in jail for his actions and my poor parenting.....MGC

[Ptarmigan]

It is even worse what Phoebe had to go through. What I think of the bullies, I cannot say here.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/09/us/09bully.html

[Stephanie]

My eldest son was bullied when we lived in California back in the 80's. Every day he would come home from school and complain about the bullies. I finally told him to pick out the biggest bullie and haul off and punch him in the nose as hard as you could. He finally developed the courage to puch out the bully. No one bullied my son after that. Now I'm sure in todays enlightened age my son and I would be thrown in jail for his actions and my poor parenting.....MGC

If I had children, I would make sure that they would defend themselves too, even if it meant going after the bully like that too. I wish that I did that when I was bullied at school. If I only knew then what I know now...

[vbhoutex]

There are so many sides to the actions and reactions involved in bullying. I experienced it in school and my son experienced it in school. I've already talked about how I managed mine. My sons was due to his challenges from his hearing loss and of course the four eyes type of comments. It also led to at least some of his anger management problems. We finally stepped in during high school(we were already strong advocates due to his hearing problem)when he had a problem with a coach due to his hearing and and anger and the coach threw him out of an away game and told him he didn't give an f how he got home. That coach lost his job soon after that incident. Some would say that wasn't bullying, but when it is included along with what we found out to be constant derogatory comments about his hearing I fit it into the bullying category because we all know the other kids will follow the coach's lead.
Unfortunately things are even now much different with facebook, myspace, etc. That is why parents must be vigilant about this type of thing and act as necessary, no matter how the child protests. What is even sadder to me is that we all know where the children learn these behaviors. So sad and sick that grownups feel so bad about themselves that they have to do the types of things that teach their children these behaviors. I need to step off my soap box now.

[SETXWXLADY]

There are so many sides to the actions and reactions involved in bullying. I experienced it in school and my son experienced it in school. I've already talked about how I managed mine. My sons was due to his challenges from his hearing loss and of course the four eyes type of comments. It also led to at least some of his anger management problems. We finally stepped in during high school(we were already strong advocates due to his hearing problem)when he had a problem with a coach due to his hearing and and anger and the coach threw him out of an away game and told him he didn't give an f how he got home. That coach lost his job soon after that incident. Some would say that wasn't bullying, but when it is included along with what we found out to be constant derogatory comments about his hearing I fit it into the bullying category because we all know the other kids will follow the coach's lead.
Unfortunately things are even now much different with facebook, myspace, etc. That is why parents must be vigilant about this type of thing and act as necessary, no matter how the child protests. What is even sadder to me is that we all know where the children learn these behaviors. So sad and sick that grownups feel so bad about themselves that they have to do the types of things that teach their children these behaviors. I need to step off my soap box now.

It is sad vb. It's sad that, like you say, the students on both sides have no concept of their self worth. I'm glad that coach was fired in your case. I had to step in with my son too. The worst of it was when he was beaten up on the school bus when he was 10. The kid who did it was 16! Now the bus driver was in the process of pulling into the Jr. High when this was happening. But as soon as she could safely park she took the 16yo and threw him off the bus. Stranding him at the Jr. High. I really liked her. She didn't put up with anyone's crap. (even from my kids) So I ended up pressing charges on the kid. This was not the first run in with him and my son just the most violent one. I took him to the emergency room and I have never had more go to he.. looks in my life! I had to explain to everyone down the line from the lady at the check in desk and the security guard all the way through to the doctors that I didn't do that to him. And everyone of them verified that I pressed charges, spoke to the police and all that. I guess its a good thing that they check like that. But it is sad and telling that hey automatically thought I did it.

I'm just glad it stopped where it did. Things are a lot more scary at school now days than when I attended. Times they are a' changin'. When my kids were little I'd give them the "Love you honey. have a nice day!" By time they were in middle school it was "I love you honey. Have a nice day. and DUCK!!!" Unfortunately that is important advice now days. One day while on the bus before it left the school parking lot a girl had a hammer raised fixing to chunk it at someone sitting behind my son. And he actually did duck!! Only time the little brat listened to anything I said. But my favorite bus driver stepped in and disaster was averted again.

[Ptarmigan]

South Hadley school board chairman resigns post

http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaki ... ey_sc.html

Edward J. Boisselle has stepped down. All the school administrators should be removed and charged.

[gtalum]

They won't be charged, as they haven't committed any crimes. They should all be removed, though.

[Ptarmigan]

Parent: Teacher sided vs. Phoebe Prince
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regio ... be_prince/

One of the South Hadley High School teachers bad mouthed Phoebe and sided with the bully. Something is seriously wrong with that place.

[vbhoutex]

Parent: Teacher sided vs. Phoebe Prince
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regio ... be_prince/

One of the South Hadley High School teachers bad mouthed Phoebe and sided with the bully. Something is seriously wrong with that place.

[Ptarmigan]

Parent: Teacher sided vs. Phoebe Prince
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regio ... be_prince/

One of the South Hadley High School teachers bad mouthed Phoebe and sided with the bully. Something is seriously wrong with that place.

Last time I checked this is America, not Nazis Germany or Soviet Union.

[bvigal]

This whole thing is just incredibly sad! I'll bet most of us, at some time during our school years, experienced cruel teasing, false rumours, or bullying, thus can understand how hurtful it can be to a tender teen. When I was in school, almost all parents took responsibility for their own children's actions, with punishment occuring swiftly both at school and at home. From what I read, that is not the case these days. It's all about fear of lawsuits on the part of school administrators, and denial on the part of parents. Certainly adds amunition to the argument for home schooling, but most families don't have the economic means to keep one parent at home to provide schooling. And at at some point, usually by high school, they need to socialize with the population. I guess if you can arm your teen with a high sense of self-worth, a broad view of what's important in the long run, the ligitimate good reasons to abstain from sex, and a thick skin against the often cruel world, that's about the best you can do.

[vbhoutex]

This whole thing is just incredibly sad! I'll bet most of us, at some time during our school years, experienced cruel teasing, false rumours, or bullying, thus can understand how hurtful it can be to a tender teen. When I was in school, almost all parents took responsibility for their own children's actions, with punishment occuring swiftly both at school and at home. From what I read, that is not the case these days. It's all about fear of lawsuits on the part of school administrators, and denial on the part of parents. Certainly adds amunition to the argument for home schooling, but most families don't have the economic means to keep one parent at home to provide schooling. And at at some point, usually by high school, they need to socialize with the population. I guess if you can arm your teen with a high sense of self-worth, a broad view of what's important in the long run, the ligitimate good reasons to abstain from sex, and a thick skin against the often cruel world, that's about the best you can do.

GREAT POST!!!

[Ptarmigan]

Here is a well detailed and horrifying article.

Boston Magazine-Who Failed Phoebe Prince?
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/ ... ince/page1

[Stephanie]

Here is a well detailed and horrifying article.

Boston Magazine-Who Failed Phoebe Prince?
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/ ... ince/page1

I can answer that without reading the article...

SOCIETY

[Ptarmigan]

What Really Happened to Phoebe Prince?

http://www.slate.com/media/1/123125/2242319/2260512/2261138/100721_Bull-E_final_2.pdf

In the end, the next chapter of the South Hadley bullying story isn’t really about innocence versus guilt. It’s about proportional versus disproportional punishment. All of the kids accused of hurting Phoebe Prince have been kicked out of school. They have been the focus of intense, public rage. They’ve been blamed for the suicide of a vulnerable, troubled girl. They will live with this always. Maybe that is already enough.[/QUOTE]

Tries to blame the victim right there. Poorly written article and way too long. These bullies are in the same league as Joran van der Sloot.

[gtalum]

ere. Poorly written article and way too long. These bullies are in the same league as Joran van der Sloot.

I don't see any attempt to "blame the victim". It is obvious, however, that someone is inherently mentally unstable if they commit suicide. Kids are picked on every day in every school, and they don't usually commit suicide because of it. I'm not excusing the bullies' behavior, but if the girl weren't inherently unstable, she wouldn't have killed herself.

[brunota2003]

There are definitely different degrees, though...and the "in crowd" can be quite...vicious. We had two girls get into a fight in the cafeteria over something petty and one of the girls got sent to the hospital (head was slammed into the wall and busted open).

I was bullied, and I was in a suicidal frame of mind due to it. No matter who was told about it, nothing was done, and I was literally being used as someones punching bag. I hated going to school because of it, I'd do about anything to keep from having to go and deal with that torture...I always had my lunch money taken away too, like the freaking mafia, and I was smaller and younger than the rest, so they considered me "different". Combine that with the fact I got good grades (when I tried, which other than tests, was hardly ever). The only things that saved me was when I got into a suicidal state, I'd start thinking about my family and what it would do to them...and I picked up the trumpet in 4th grade and found something worth living for (though the suicidal stuff started in 4th grade, but once I got out of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, people stopped picking on me, other than the random idiot, of whom stoppd once they had half the band come after them). Thank God for Band! It was the only class I was really liked in and made friends in.

Turns out several years down the road (10th grade into 11th grade), I got to use my experiences to help pull another person out of her suicidal/emo (cutting) depression.

[Ptarmigan]

I don't see any attempt to "blame the victim". It is obvious, however, that someone is inherently mentally unstable if they commit suicide. Kids are picked on every day in every school, and they don't usually commit suicide because of it. I'm not excusing the bullies' behavior, but if the girl weren't inherently unstable, she wouldn't have killed herself.

Did you read the whole article?

[Ptarmigan]

There are definitely different degrees, though...and the "in crowd" can be quite...vicious. We had two girls get into a fight in the cafeteria over something petty and one of the girls got sent to the hospital (head was slammed into the wall and busted open).

I was bullied, and I was in a suicidal frame of mind due to it. No matter who was told about it, nothing was done, and I was literally being used as someones punching bag. I hated going to school because of it, I'd do about anything to keep from having to go and deal with that torture...I always had my lunch money taken away too, like the freaking mafia, and I was smaller and younger than the rest, so they considered me "different". Combine that with the fact I got good grades (when I tried, which other than tests, was hardly ever). The only things that saved me was when I got into a suicidal state, I'd start thinking about my family and what it would do to them...and I picked up the trumpet in 4th grade and found something worth living for (though the suicidal stuff started in 4th grade, but once I got out of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, people stopped picking on me, other than the random idiot, of whom stoppd once they had half the band come after them). Thank God for Band! It was the only class I was really liked in and made friends in.

Turns out several years down the road (10th grade into 11th grade), I got to use my experiences to help pull another person out of her suicidal/emo (cutting) depression.

Good story. I am surprised your bullying problem was in elementary school. I associate it with middle and early high school.