The future is in their hands!!

[angelwing]

The future is in their hands!!


The following questions were sent in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wt*!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

[vbhoutex]

STOP THEM NOW!!!

[bvigal]

Oh that is tooooo funny! Thanks for posting!!

[Stephanie]

OMG!!!

Funny and sad at the same time...

[Florida1118]

Not all children are like that. There are some bright ones out there. I just hope Theres are enough tax dollars for them to Reach on to and steal...eh..use. Man, there are enough idiots now. Well, to give the children some benefit, you have not been the greatest tack in the box. (sharpest, what ever.)
1. If you live on the Gulf, look out your window.
2. I cant think of any others...
Anyway, I just got out of high school and am in college now ( I still dont know whether to go into meteorology or go with the FBI like both my parents) and I dont think there are as many stupid people as some claim. Not to mention, part of the problem is the parents who RAISE the child. If there some fricken adults who drink 24/7 and smoke... well, they suck at being parents and its not the as much the kids fault. Also, now that its Illegal to hit children, they dont have pain as a teacher. ( I hate that law) Also,As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so BLAME THE PARENTS NOT THE CHILD. Also, almost all my teachers sucked from K-12, because they dont like to teach. so blame your selves. You made the laws, you made us, you teach us. STICK IT TO YOURSELVES!

[dizzyfish]

WOW

ALL of your teachers "sucked" from K-12??? I find it hard to believe that you did not have one teacher that was at least o.k.

I agree some parents aren't great (or even good for that matter) BUT we were all born with brains - USE THEM. I personally know students that have been the first in their entire family to graduate high school. Yeah, they get a standing ovation at graduation.

BTW I work at a high school, and no it isn't a job to me it's my CAREER.

Yeah, some kids are stupid - very, very stupid. It is doesn't have anything to do with what they learn in school - or not.

[bvigal]

...Anyway, I just got out of high school and am in college now ( I still dont know whether to go into meteorology or go with the FBI like both my parents) and I dont think there are as many stupid people as some claim.

from http://www.storm2k.org/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=108099&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=80

Yes, IMO a little to early to call it a dead season. In the year above, it sucked. I had to board up my house 4 times! That sucks. (but after that year I got high-teck shutters so at least something came out of it.) 3 trees fell on my house that year and my roof nearly got torn off once. It cost me about $75,000 that year and I was lucky unlike some other Floridians who got there house completely lost. ..

So, you owned your own home 6 years ago (in 2004), while in junior high? I'm impressed!

[Florida1118]

...Anyway, I just got out of high school and am in college now ( I still dont know whether to go into meteorology or go with the FBI like both my parents) and I dont think there are as many stupid people as some claim.

from http://www.storm2k.org/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=108099&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=80

Yes, IMO a little to early to call it a dead season. In the year above, it sucked. I had to board up my house 4 times! That sucks. (but after that year I got high-teck shutters so at least something came out of it.) 3 trees fell on my house that year and my roof nearly got torn off once. It cost me about $75,000 that year and I was lucky unlike some other Floridians who got there house completely lost. ..

So, you owned your own home 6 years ago (in 2004), while in junior high? I'm impressed!

Well not me. My parents. Ha, I wish I did.

[Tireman4]

And now you know what life is like on the front lines teaching at a community college.

Go to phinished.org....it is even scarier...

[Florida1118]

:uarrow: WOW

ALL of your teachers "sucked" from K-12??? I find it hard to believe that you did not have one teacher that was at least o.k.

I agree some parents aren't great (or even good for that matter) BUT we were all born with brains - USE THEM. I personally know students that have been the first in their entire family to graduate high school. Yeah, they get a standing ovation at graduation.

BTW I work at a high school, and no it isn't a job to me it's my CAREER.

Yeah, some kids are stupid - very, very stupid. It is doesn't have anything to do with what they learn in school - or not.

No, not all of my teachers sucked.I can remember 5 or 6 that were nice. And its not that others all sucked at teaching, its that many of them just were so...blah. If you gave them something they would be like, thanks. Nothing wrong with that, its just how they say it, like they dont want to be there. I dont blame them, doing that career for a while probably would get old, teaching the same thing year after year. And not all of my teachers did that, but from k-12, like 3/5 of them were bored it seemed, and another 1/5 could not teach well. I will give you an example. My 7th grade Spanish teacher was probably the worst teacher i ever had. She loved her career it seemed, but she Could not teach anything. THE MOST YEAR WE PLAYED BINGO AND COLORED. nothing wrong with that, but most of the year? Yeah we had a occasional test, in ENGLISH, but I had to get a tutor for the whole summer because of her. The only thing I learned from her was buenos dias, como, and and a some verb.
I do agree with you, people do have brains and just cant find the switch to turn it on, but if they had caring parents who were decent enough, they would be fine. If they were disciplined as a child and taught right and wrong instead of fricken treating them like there a gift to the world and better than others, than would have been better. And yes some people are just stupid. Theres no way of getting around that. but im just saying if the parents were decent for SOME of the children in the world, they would not be that bad. But If they teach the children, "dont take responsibility for your mistakes, just be like us and drink the night away and let others clean up after us..." and other BS like that, well, they just probably screwed there child. Sorry if you took the job/career thing offensively. Didnt mean anything by it.

[dizzyfish]

No offense taken. I just hate it when all school staff gets lumped together - good and bad in everything, ya know.

Don't get me started on the parents! Oh Lord, the stories I could tell.

[abajan]

“The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U”

Judges?
10,10,10,10,10!