Hank, the guy who knows everyone
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Hank was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Hank how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Hank and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Hank! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Hank's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Hank that he thinks Hank's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Hank says. ''President Obama," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Hank says, "I know him. His boss retorts if you can prove that you know him I'll fly out to Washington to see him."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Hank on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Hank, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Hank, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Hank. "I've known the Pope a long time."
Again the unconvinced boss flies them off to Rome. Hank and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Hank says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Hank emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Hank returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's
side, Hank asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, 'Who's that on the balcony with Hank?'
Hank, the guy who knows everyone
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Hank, the guy who knows everyone
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