Could Santa Claus possibly be a woman?

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JetMaxx

Could Santa Claus possibly be a woman?

#1 Postby JetMaxx » Wed Oct 29, 2003 8:05 pm

This is something a friend sent me in an email....but I think she's onto something :D :D

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Santa has got to be a woman!
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the shopping bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID still have reindeer, he'd also have the transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other  reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

1) Men can't pack a bag.

2) Men would  rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

3) Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves.

4) Men don't answer their mail.

5) Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly."

6) Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

7) Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.

8) Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. :D

I can  buy the fact other mythical holiday characters are men: 
Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not  Santa!!!! :lol: :lol:

 

 
Last edited by JetMaxx on Wed Oct 29, 2003 8:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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StormCrazyIowan
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#2 Postby StormCrazyIowan » Wed Oct 29, 2003 8:08 pm

LMAOOOOO!!!!!! Very good one!!

:jump:
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Lindaloo
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#3 Postby Lindaloo » Wed Oct 29, 2003 9:42 pm

LMBO!!
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#4 Postby stormchazer » Wed Oct 29, 2003 9:47 pm

As a man...I can do nothing but agree.
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#5 Postby southerngale » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:57 pm

LOL!!!! Agreed ;)
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#6 Postby stormy » Thu Oct 30, 2003 12:24 am

that was so funny, my daughter and i had a good laugh. i know my husband could relate to all them. thanks for the good laugh. with the calif fires i needed this.
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#7 Postby coriolis » Thu Oct 30, 2003 12:52 am

As Fred Flintstone would say:

Hold it, Hold it, Hoolllld EVERYTHING!

S.C. is a jolly old fellow, and that's that!
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#8 Postby JCT777 » Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:45 am

Perhaps Mrs. Claus is the one that is responsible for all of this, but her husband takes the credit. :wink:
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#9 Postby TexasStooge » Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:52 am

LOL!!!
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#10 Postby stormy » Thu Oct 30, 2003 3:03 pm

weelllll they say behind every good man is a great women. being a woman i believe that.
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#11 Postby pojo » Thu Oct 30, 2003 3:26 pm

That is hilarious!! Thanks for sharing :D
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