1. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small
boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the
lad aside to correct him. "Do you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
2. One morning, a grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson. He
had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army
men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV -'The best part of waking up is
soldiers in your cup.'"
3. Susie asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their of favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Jimmy's picture, which showed four people
on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The
flight to Egypt," said Jimmy. "I see. and that must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus," Susie said, "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's
Pontius-The- Pilot."
4. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought
it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in,
or stay out."
5. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties."They use him to keep crowds back,! " said one youngster. "No," said
another,"he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument
to a close. They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
6. Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her
face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he said. "To make myself beautiful," said
his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the
matter?" asked Johnny, "Giving up?"
Kid's say the darndest things!
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Kid's say the darndest things!
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