IF MEN RULED THE WORLD...
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL Team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a bronto-saurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. (Wouldn't help -- We STILL wouldn't remember!)
If men ruled the world(while we wait for pojo to fix things)
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stormraiser
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Re: If men ruled the world(while we wait for pojo to fix thi
And when we get home from work, the wife would be standing there happy to see you, with a bottle of wine, supper cooked, the lights turned down low..........
And I loved the one about the horned helmets, by the way. Let me knwo when you go, I'll be right behind you
And I loved the one about the horned helmets, by the way. Let me knwo when you go, I'll be right behind you
j wrote:IF MEN RULED THE WORLD...
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL Team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a bronto-saurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. (Wouldn't help -- We STILL wouldn't remember!)
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StormCrazyIowan
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Re: If men ruled the world(while we wait for pojo to fix thi
[quote="j"]IF MEN RULED THE WORLD...
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
.....and she'd come on automatically muted. You can press a button on the remote if you want to hear her.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
.....and she'd come on automatically muted. You can press a button on the remote if you want to hear her.
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This space for rent.
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mf_dolphin
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Derek Ortt
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Miss Mary
j wrote:woman would have microchips implanted that would automatically mute their vocal chords during any sporting event. They would automatically start talking when the commercials begin at which time we men could relieve ourselves, and grab another beer.
j - that's already been done, fictionally speaking. I see you want us all to be Stepford Wives!!! Seem to recall a movie sequel - the Stepford Husbands! Pop those pills hubbies!!!! LOL
Mary
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Miss Mary
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mf_dolphin
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What If Women Ruled The World
....Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
....PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
....Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
...Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
...A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing
.....Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
....Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
...."Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
....Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
....Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
....Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"
....Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
....Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
....Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
....Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."
....Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
....Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
...Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
....All toilet seats would be nailed down.
....Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
....TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
....All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator
....During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.
....Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
....After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
....For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
....Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
....PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
....Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
...Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
...A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing
.....Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
....Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
...."Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
....Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
....Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
....Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"
....Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
....Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
....Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
....Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."
....Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
....Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
...Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
....All toilet seats would be nailed down.
....Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
....TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
....All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator
....During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.
....Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
....After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
....For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
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mf_dolphin
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