'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View

southerngale · #1 Postby **southerngale** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:48 pm

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(From a woman's point of view... )

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin.
I've been here for hours, I cant stop to rest.
This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephones ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwaves dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I cant take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.

He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....arent you through in here yet ??"

As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !"

Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh crap, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead??
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year,
You wont find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!!!

mf_dolphin · #2 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:52 pm

I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin.

And this would be unusual???? :lol:

#3 Postby **pojo** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:53 pm

Ain't that the truth....MEN Stay away from the KITCHEN (unless you are the designated cook!)

JCT777 · #4 Postby **JCT777** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 3:04 pm

LOL! Since I do all the holiday baking at my house, I can somewhat relate.

Lindaloo · #5 Postby **Lindaloo** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 3:52 pm

mf_dolphin wrote:And this would be unusual????

Marshall it is SO about time we women of storm2k waged war against you. :lol:

Guest · #6 Postby **Guest** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 3:56 pm

That post is my life storm. Lindaloo gather the troops!!!! The war is on. LOL

mf_dolphin · #7 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:25 pm

Come and get me! :-)

:behappy:

chadtm80 · #8 Postby **chadtm80** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:28 pm

:Under: I got your back Marshall!!
Not that im worried though :sleeping:

Lindaloo · #9 Postby **Lindaloo** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:48 pm

OKAY!! You two are in trouble now!! 8-)

stormy · #10 Postby **stormy** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:50 pm

u know what i hate. u spend 2or 3 days cooking for chritmas and christmas eve and it take less than one hour for everybody to eat and then the dishes. the dishes are the worst.

#11 Postby **Stephanie** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:51 pm

Lindaloo wrote:
mf_dolphin wrote:And this would be unusual????

Marshall it is SO about time we women of storm2k waged war against you.

Her husband was lucky she wasn't Lorena Bobbit!!!

I have SOOO many friends to e-mail that to. Thanks for sharing it!

StormCrazyIowan · #12 Postby **StormCrazyIowan** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:56 pm

Happy to join this war girls!!!! :grrr:

azsnowman · #13 Postby **azsnowman** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:59 pm

pojo wrote:Ain't that the truth....MEN Stay away from the KITCHEN (unless you are the designated cook!)

I BEG your pardon ma'am! I too, like John, do 99.98% of the holiday cooking but I DON'T bake, heck, I'd ruin a thaw and serve pie "LOL!"

Dennis

chadtm80 · #14 Postby **chadtm80** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:05 pm

I BEG your pardon ma'am! I too, like John, do 99.98% of the holiday cooking but I DON'T bake, heck, I'd ruin a thaw and serve pie "LOL!"

Dennis

Snowman.. Your either with us or with the terrorist!!! LOL

mf_dolphin · #15 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:07 pm

THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:team:

Bring it on! :-)

therock1811 · #16 Postby **therock1811** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:12 pm

mf_dolphin wrote:THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bring it on!

Agreed Mf...this is war now!!!!!!!!!!!:)

weatherlover427 · #17 Postby **weatherlover427** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:16 pm

I'm in!

Gooooooooooo Guys!

:lol:

Lindaloo · #18 Postby **Lindaloo** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 12:03 am

Okay Jacki, Steph and ticka.... it is just us three. Where are all the troops?

Hmmmm... that is a good idea Steph. LOL!!!

MScoast · #19 Postby **MScoast** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 12:09 am

I'm in!! My back still hurts from cooking Thanksgiving dinner!!!!

Let's get 'em ladies!!!!!!!!!

Lindaloo · #20 Postby **Lindaloo** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 12:11 am

Woo Hoo... they are outnumbered now.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View

'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View

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