The Woman's Brain
A patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to looked shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price betweem male and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice." said the head of the team. "Women's brains have to be marked down because they have been used."
'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View
Moderator: S2k Moderators
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.
As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said,
"Here put these on!"
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants, she said."
"That's right," said the husband, "And don't YOU forget it. I'm the Man who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried and tried but found he could only get the panties on as far as his kneecaps.
Frustrated, "I can't get into these panties!"
She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes!"
As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said,
"Here put these on!"
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants, she said."
"That's right," said the husband, "And don't YOU forget it. I'm the Man who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried and tried but found he could only get the panties on as far as his kneecaps.
Frustrated, "I can't get into these panties!"
She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes!"
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weatherlover427
No women don't fart because they think it's impolite, not because it's disgusting. Men could care less what women think. They just fart regardless. 
Women are all prim and proper anyway. They always have to put on 20 layers of make up. They also spend a million years in the bathroom.
WHY?????????????????????????
Women are all prim and proper anyway. They always have to put on 20 layers of make up. They also spend a million years in the bathroom.
WHY?????????????????????????
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)He paid $500 to have his family tree searched, and found out he was the sap.
There are times he has something on his mind -- he wears a hat occasionally.
His neck reminds you of a typewriter -- Underwood.
The only time he thinks is in a poolroom, where he can rack his brains.
If you want the real dope about anything, go to the real dope -- HIM!
There are times he has something on his mind -- he wears a hat occasionally.
His neck reminds you of a typewriter -- Underwood.
The only time he thinks is in a poolroom, where he can rack his brains.
If you want the real dope about anything, go to the real dope -- HIM!
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StormCrazyIowan
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A young couple once rented a cabin near a lake for a vacation. He liked to fish, and her favorite pastime was reading. One morning, the husband rose early and took the boat out on the lake. He returned around noon, and went to the cabin for a nap. The wife looked at the little boat and thought it might be nice to read her book on the water. Though she knew nothing about boats, she managed to row into a nice, calm area of the lake and settled down to read.
After a short time the Game Warden motored up in his boat and asked her what she was doing. Although she thought it was obvious, she responded, "I'm reading a book."
"You're in a restricted fishing area, I'll need to take you in and write you up for this", he said.
Astounded, she argued, "But I'm not fishing. You saw me here, reading my book!"
"But you have all the necessary equipment," he said, pointing out the poles, nets, and bait her husband had left in the boat, "so I'm going to cite you for fishing in a restricted area."
"Then I will press charges on you for rape", she said.
"Rape!? I haven't touched you!"
"No," she said, "but you have all the necessary equipment."
Never underestimate a woman who reads.
Debbie
After a short time the Game Warden motored up in his boat and asked her what she was doing. Although she thought it was obvious, she responded, "I'm reading a book."
"You're in a restricted fishing area, I'll need to take you in and write you up for this", he said.
Astounded, she argued, "But I'm not fishing. You saw me here, reading my book!"
"But you have all the necessary equipment," he said, pointing out the poles, nets, and bait her husband had left in the boat, "so I'm going to cite you for fishing in a restricted area."
"Then I will press charges on you for rape", she said.
"Rape!? I haven't touched you!"
"No," she said, "but you have all the necessary equipment."
Never underestimate a woman who reads.
Debbie
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weatherlover427
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StormCrazyIowan
- Category 5
- Posts: 6599
- Age: 42
- Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2003 8:13 pm
- Location: Quad Cities, IA
- Contact:
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
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southerngale
- Retired Staff
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- Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:27 am
- Location: Southeast Texas (Beaumont area)
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southerngale
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 27418
- Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:27 am
- Location: Southeast Texas (Beaumont area)
mf_dolphin wrote:Do you know why woman don't fart?
Because they can't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up any pressure.
*kaboink* *kaboink*
That's the sound of a frying pan hitting ya over the head! I keep my mouth shut plenty...for example, when I'm typing.
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