'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View

#201 Postby **pojo** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:19 pm

southerngale wrote:Some freshman college kids are sitting under a tree at their beautiful state university talking about their classes.
Says one young woman, "I can't believe it. My calculus course has to be the hardest course in the world."
"Get over yourself," says her girlfriend. "You should try my theoretical physics class."
"You have got to be joking," says a young man there on a football scholarship. "You call that stuff hard? You should try my class. Have you ever heard of something called subtraction?"

Good one! UWGB doesn't have football, but that sounds alot like the varsity football team that my brother has to contend with at Menasha High!!!

StormCrazyIowan · #202 Postby **StormCrazyIowan** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:28 pm

ROFL!! Atta girl, keep them men in check!! :lol:

j · #203 Postby j » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:35 pm

On the subject of toilet seats "up" or "down"...I've taken to the practice of using my night vision, God Given capabilities, for those middle of the night pees. I consider my accuracy rating to be in the neighborhood of about 80%, which is remarkably high considering the small target. Daylight pees are closer to 95% accuracy rating.

Soooo....I've eliminated the whole toilet seat controversy. The seat is always down. For the 20% of the time I may miss a little, the odds are once again in my favor that the errant stream will have dried by the time the next female in the house takes her seat on the throne.

I have not informed my wife yet about my new philosophy...she just thinks I'm a very considerate man.

Lindaloo · #204 Postby **Lindaloo** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:39 pm

Typical LOL!!!

southerngale · #205 Postby **southerngale** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:56 pm

j wrote:On the subject of toilet seats "up" or "down"...I've taken to the practice of using my night vision, God Given capabilities, for those middle of the night pees. I consider my accuracy rating to be in the neighborhood of about 80%, which is remarkably high considering the small target. Daylight pees are closer to 95% accuracy rating.

Soooo....I've eliminated the whole toilet seat controversy. The seat is always down. For the 20% of the time I may miss a little, the odds are once again in my favor that the errant stream will have dried by the time the next female in the house takes her seat on the throne.

I have not informed my wife yet about my new philosophy...she just thinks I'm a very considerate man.

Small target??? Aiming for a cup would be a small target. That huge opening and guys still miss? :roll:

I just don't get it. Every guy should have 100% accuracy rating. 8-)

As for the "errant stream may have dried" comment, well, just ugh! :8:

Guest · #206 Postby **Guest** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:00 pm

and then we know why men never clean toliets
can get the aim strait or on target....

weatherluvr · #207 Postby **weatherluvr** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:05 pm

Hey Southerngale, sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes, when you're half asleep, you don't notice that errant hair, you do your thing, and before you realize what's going on you have a shower massager going about 90 degrees to the left!

Guest · #208 Postby **Guest** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:13 pm

ROFL...

southerngale · #209 Postby **southerngale** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:13 pm

Then sit down and aim it south! :lol:

Guest · #210 Postby **Guest** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:15 pm

You tell them men - Southerngale!!!

weatherluvr · #211 Postby **weatherluvr** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:20 pm

So that's what this is all about! The fact that we men can go standing up! :33:

Lindaloo · #212 Postby **Lindaloo** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:32 pm

ticka1 wrote:and then we know why men never clean toliets
can get the aim strait or on target....

Yeah, maybe we need to fill his wife in on the secret and she will make him clean the commode. Even when they go outside to "do their thing" they still hit the walls or tires. LOL!!!

j · #213 Postby j » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:33 pm

I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I generally practice the "no hands" approach, Superman leaning forward stance, which is probably responsible for my inneffeciency rating.

But still, 80% is nothing to be ashamed of either.

Have you ever seen the after-effects of a woman squatting in a parking lot, or side of the road to pee? They look like they have been clam digging and forgot to roll up the pant legs!

I think us men do pretty good to hit that target, in the dark, eyes closed half the time, errant hairs, half asleep, no hands....don't you think?

weatherluvr · #214 Postby **weatherluvr** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:42 pm

I hear ya J, my wife always points out the dirty spot on the bathroom wall where I always put my hand!

Guest · #215 Postby **Guest** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:30 pm

Talk about lazy!

Stormsfury · #216 Postby **Stormsfury** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:34 pm

WTF have I wondered into? ...

*slams the door shut and throws away the key*

and then we know why men never clean toliets
can get the aim strait or on target....

A man will p!$$ on anything, but not his leg...

David · #217 Postby **David** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 12:34 am

Alright.. I'm gonna be like Tom for a little bit.. stats person.

I went through ALL 11 pages... counted all jokes (really long jokes got 2 points, both sides got 1 of these long jokes, got both sides 2 pts) One joke/post equaled 1 point. The official REAL score so y'all don't yell at me again..

Girls: 67
Guys: 41

But in David's words it would be 413 to 24, Men leading, of course. And my score is the only one that counts!

David · #218 Postby **David** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 12:58 am

Here's a 1 pointer for the guys!

In the greetings forum, there is a male/female ration thread.. this tells all.

M:....46 (59.0%)
F:.....32 (41.0%)

.......... and

M:....46 (..3.2%)
F:.....32 (..2.2%)
?: 1356 (94.6%) (unknown people/members)

weatherlover427 · #219 Postby **weatherlover427** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 1:02 am

You did count my pics right? :mad:

David · #220 Postby **David** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 1:04 am

Yes.. except the repeats.

Cheater... jk.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas--A Woman's Point of View

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