10 uses for Fruit cake

azsnowman · #1 Postby **azsnowman** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 8:52 am

How many here like fruit cake? I've found 10 uses for a fruit cake.......

10 Uses For Fruitcake
1. Bury them in the back yard for future archaeologists to discover.
2. Give them to your son for a science project

3. Hang on to it to find out if there REALLY is more than one Fruitcake that's making it's rounds every year.

4. Use it to hold up a broken table or chair leg.

5. Mash them down and use for mortar when building a log cabin.

6. Use as exercise stepping block for step aerobics.

7. Makes a wonderful dessert for Road Kill Cafe fare.

8. Use them to pave the freeways with. Just place them on the road and run a steamroller over them.

9. Use them as fillers to repair the river levees with! They last indefinitely and are so dense, water can never penetrate them.

10. Last and probably least - try eating it! One way to get rid of it!

Dennis

blizzard · #2 Postby **blizzard** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 9:44 am

as to #8, I don't think they make a steam roller big enough to flatten them.

They aslo make good door stops

StormCrazyIowan · #3 Postby **StormCrazyIowan** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 9:47 am

ROFL!!!! I think there IS only one circulating-- I've never seen one!! I sure do use the term fruitcake a lot though!!! :lol:

#4 Postby **coriolis** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:17 am

Well my wife just called me a fruitcake and she has lots of uses for me.

#5 Postby **wx247** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:18 am

Thanks for these tips Dennis. They sure will come in handy.

Guest · #6 Postby **Guest** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:21 am

LOL.... fruit cake sounds like it would be good until you see the real deal. I think I'll pass. Did you see the skit on Leno where he made fruit cakes with Tom Cruise? It was a good one (the skit, not the fruit cake, LOL)

Pro-Storm · #7 Postby **Pro-Storm** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 3:46 pm

Up in the hills the truckers use 'em for tire chocks :shocked!:

VanceWxMan · #8 Postby **VanceWxMan** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 6:58 pm

here are 2 more

Use them as a door stop
Use them as Bookends for your bookself

Aaron

David · #9 Postby **David** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 8:03 pm

StormCrazyIowan wrote: I sure do use the term fruitcake a lot though!!!

That's another nickname i've gotten through the years...

raine · #10 Postby **raine** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 8:10 pm

You can use them as a paperweight on the desk....

Tie the dog to it out in the yard...

Tie the kids to it out in the yard...

Tie the horse, cow and goat out in the yard...careful with the goat... I hear they are the only animal that has ever consumed a fruitcake and lived another day...

If you save enough of them over the years you can put up that new addition the wife has been naggin' you about....

We can donate them to the military and they can use them to bomb the terrorists...

You can take some of them and build a jail for Saddam and his cohorts ...quite fitting I think for they are all nuttier than a fruitcake...

Raine

AussieMark · #11 Postby **AussieMark** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 8:44 pm

Geeze am i the only one who loves fruit cake. :lol:

ColdFront77 · #12 Postby **ColdFront77** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:46 am

mrschad wrote:LOL.... fruit cake sounds like it would be good until you see the real deal. I think I'll pass. Did you see the skit on Leno where he made fruit cakes with Tom Cruise? It was a good one (the skit, not the fruit cake, LOL)

We hopefully wouldn't find a fruit cake at our local Winn-Dixie! :lol:

Sorry Winn-Dixie; I couldn't resist.

TexasStooge · #13 Postby **TexasStooge** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:23 am

LOL!!!

#14 Postby **streetsoldier** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:45 am

That's why I ONLY purchase Danish fruit cakes from Dansk Koningen-Bisca (Royal Danish Bakery)...guaranteed moist and fresh, and I've yet to receive a bad one!

blizzard · #15 Postby **blizzard** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 10:11 am

tropicalweatherwatcher wrote:Geeze am i the only one who loves fruit cake.

Sorry, but I think that you are....lol

Miss Mary · #16 Postby **Miss Mary** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 10:18 am

Dennis - LOL! I absolutely hate fruit cake!!! This reminds me of my mom's, I hate to say this, terrible homemade shortbread cookie's. She works so hard on them, and we all HATE them. A few years ago she wondered aloud why I hadn't asked for the recipe or watched her make them so I can carry on the tradition......I honestly didn't know what to say! One of my brother's likes to fling them against the wall, they're hard as a rock. First time my husband bit into one he about choked - what the he** are these things Mary? I said, with a big sigh, these cookies my mom has been making for years Jim. They're Scottish ya know, she grew up in Scotland. He said he felt sorry for the Scottish people if this is all they get at xmas.

I feel like copying and pasting that list , and changing it to my mom's shortbread.

I'm going to pay for these thoughts I'm sure.

Mary

JCT777 · #17 Postby **JCT777** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 5:13 pm

tropicalweatherwatcher wrote:Geeze am i the only one who loves fruit cake.

Nope, I like fruitcake also. But it depends on who makes it and how fresh it is. I've eaten a few pieces of fruitcake that tasted like they were made 5 years ago - very stale! Those would have made pretty good paperweights. :wink:

Lindaloo · #18 Postby **Lindaloo** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 5:14 pm

Fruitcake+Garbage Can.

weatherluvr · #19 Postby **weatherluvr** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 5:16 pm

If we were to ever have a nuclear war, the only things that will be left are cockroaches and fruitcakes.

#20 Postby **CaptinCrunch** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 5:17 pm

I just through mine in the pond next to us and let the ducks fight over it

10 uses for Fruit cake

10 uses for Fruit cake

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