Signs that you are drinking too much coffee

[blizzard]

Signs That You're Drinking Too Much Coffee;
* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
* You answer the door before people knock.
* You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet
away without using the timer.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You walk twenty miles on the treadmill before
realizing it's not plugged in.
* You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
* You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You ride an exercise bike to work.
* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* You use coffee flavored mouthwash.
* You help your dog chase its tail.

[blizzard]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work
on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch
and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef
one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The
Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time for lunch, I am going to jump off too."
The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a
bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping off too!"
The next day the Irishman opened his lunchbox and sees corned beef and
cabbage and jumps off the building. The Mexican opens his lunch box and
sees burritos and jumps off too. The redneck opens his lunchbox and sees
bologna so he jumps to his death. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is
weeping and says, "If I had known he was tired of corned beef and cabbage
I would have never given it to him again!". The Mexican's wife also weeps
and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize
he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's
wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

[blizzard]

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realised she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

Next morning my wife asked me what time I got in and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said "Well, it cuckooed three times, then said 'bugger', cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted.

[blizzard]

You are a child of the 80s if.....

You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.

You wanted to be on StarSearch.

You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

You know the profound meaning of ''Wax on, Wax off.''

You can name at least half of the members of the elite ''Brat Pack.''

You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!!!!!!

You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.

You know that another name for a keyboard is a ''Synthesizer.''

You hold a special place in your heart for ''Back to the Future.''

You know where to go if you ''Wanna go where everybody knows your name.''

You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

You know what ''psyche'' means.

You fell victim to 80's fashion: big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, and you wore spandex pants

You wanted to be a Goonie

You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.

You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played ''Sam'' to be.

You ever wore fluorescent -neon if you will clothing...(or nail polish)

You could breakdance, or wished you could. (I said hip hop....)

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.(Remember Pong)

You know all the words to ''Ice Ice Baby''.

You remember MC hammer well.

You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"
You own any cassettes.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.

You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut.

Poltergeist freaked you out.

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.

You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

You wanted to have an alien like Alf (no not Alfie Langer lol) living in your house.

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.

You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.

You ever had a Swatch Watch.

You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.

You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

You had WonderWoman or Superman underwear.

You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

You Believed that ''By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power''

You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

Partying ''like it's 1999'' seemed SO far away!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a ''Child of the 80's.''

[hunter84]

You are a child of the 80s if.....


You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

Guilty

[blizzard]

You are a child of the 80s if.....


You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

Guilty

I, too am very guilty of that one...

[azsnowman]

*SIGH*........what happens if my profile fits EVERY SINGLE ONE in the coffee post?? "LOL!" YUP......I've got a pot of coffee going at LEAST 12 hours a day, especially in the winter!

Dennis

[GalvestonDuck]

You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

LOL! Yup!

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.(Remember Pong)

Whoda thunk they'd go so far with graphics and sound in video games BUT we're still not living on the moon?

You know all the words to ''Ice Ice Baby''.

'fraid so.

You own any cassettes.

Sheesh! I still have a huge boxed collection up in my bedroom and I carry a few in my '99 Malibu because I don't have a CD player in it.

Partying ''like it's 1999'' seemed SO far away!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't that the truth?

[TexasStooge]

LOL!!! That's funny!!!

[opera ghost]

I'd never seen the "Child of the 80's" before- only teenager of the 80's and child of the 70's.

God it's scary looking back at myself as a kidlet.... every one of those were true. Every one *Laughs*

[StormCrazyIowan]

Exactly!!!! I can remember each and every thing on that list!!! Of course I had a swatch and HUGE hair (even young!)

Alright stop, collaborate and listen.......ok ok that's enough!!

Ahhh, the good ol' days

BTW, I still LOVE Prince's music!


Oh, and I didn't see Jelly shoes on there but I musta blown thru 10 pairs!!

[GalvestonDuck]

LOL, Jacki!

"Rollin' in my five-point-oh, with my ragtop down so my hair can blow." Scary, just scary

You know, I refuse to let go of my Milli Vanilli cassette, under the assumption it will be worth something one day. Sheesh, it's not like one-half of the group isn't already dead....don't know why I think it'll be valuable.

[stormraiser]

LOL Duck. Milli Vanilli? Yes, I thought they were cool. And I dreamed of meeting Molly Ringworm someday.

[Pro-Storm]

LOL, Jacki!



You know, I refuse to let go of my Milli Vanilli cassette, under the assumption it will be worth something one day. Sheesh, it's not like one-half of the group isn't already dead....don't know why I think it'll be valuable.

I gave a friend a "Milli Vanilli's Greatest Hits" cassette for his b'day one time......the tape was blank!!

[pawlee]

a blonde sticks two quarters in a soda machine, hits the button and gets a coke. moments later she drops in two more quarters, hits the button and gets a coke. she goes away, comes back with more quarters, drops them in, hits the button and continues getting more cokes.

a guy who is watching steps over and says "miss what are you doing?"

the blonde says "shhh! i'm winning!"

[CaptinCrunch]

When you drink reguler coffee and pee decafe

[blizzard]

*SIGH*........what happens if my profile fits EVERY SINGLE ONE in the coffee post?? "LOL!" YUP......I've got a pot of coffee going at LEAST 12 hours a day, especially in the winter!

Dennis

Yup, snowman, you were the one I was thinking of when i posted that.