Teaching your teen to drive!

[Miss Mary]

I've heard that teaching your teen to drive can be nerve wracking, but OMG, it's driving me nuts! I try not to convey that to my daughter but this stage of parenting has not been fun. I want to run back to the diaper days.....LOL

She's had her temps since last April and finished up driver's ed a month ago. She's still nowhere near ready for her driving test. The reasons are numerous: we both have 5 speed cars. She's doomed there. My car is a Honda Civic, the simplest clutch and gear shift to master, IMO. But she doesn't see that. She's also not great at handling a car. She hates riding bikes, skateboarding, etc. The only thing she's ever operated was a self-propelled lawnmower! Looking back I wish now I would have had her back and pull my car up in the driveway, A LOT! She wants to hurry this up, since most of her friends now have their licenses and cars, their parents just handed them. Now that's not happening around here. She's not getting her own car.

Well, anyway, just wanted to vent a bit. And see if others can offer me suggestions. Forget selling my car and getting an automatic, we already have one car payment, my husband's car. Can't afford two. And hubby is adamant about selling my car anyway, he says she needs to learn to drive a manual. Picture scenes of those teen movies, that's what I'm living everyday. I can feel the gray hairs multiplying. LOL

Mary

PS - Ironically her younger sister, age 13, will take to this much easier we think. Laura has been riding her bike, scooter, now a gas powered one she got for xmas for years. She just has a good eye for turning and manuerering. Nina's come very close to mailbox's, etc. Yikes!!!

[GalvestonDuck]

A large church parking lot (empty, of course) is a great place to practice manuevering, steering, and my fave to learn - parallel parking!

Good luck, Mary!

[Miss Mary]

A large church parking lot (empty, of course) is a great place to practice manuevering, steering, and my fave to learn - parallel parking!

Good luck, Mary!

We've done all that Shawn! She gets panicky in traffic, at lights specifically. And if someone is on her tail, which happens just about all the time now. Our next door neighbors are from England. The husband said over there a new driver has to put a big sticker on the car - a simple L - for learner until they get their permanent license. Sounds like a good idea to me! Nina's having trouble with the whole thing. And I have to admit I've been doing a lot of praying about it, oh no don't tell Dennis. Saying those Hail Mary's a lot. And like you said elsewhere in another thread, praying to my dad who taught me to drive. And that was a challenge....LOL I just ask my dad to give me patience! You see Jim's better with Nina but I have way more time available. He's so busy, with work and finishing off our basement, a new project that started 2 weeks ago.

She'll get her license I'm sure. I had a niece who had lots of trouble like this, had 2 wrecks before she was 20. Lost her license for a year. I hear she's a good driver now, but she gave my brother, her dad, real fits back then.

Mary

[CajunMama]

Don't let her get her license Miss Mary! My daughter and I just got back from traffic court about 30 minutes ago! She got caught speeding on radar. The judge sentenced her to 30 hours of community service to be served within 45 days and attend driver improvement school. She does not pay a fine and this ticket does not go on her license. She was scared to death up in front of the judge and he was a strict one.

Just tell your daughter as soon as she masters the standard she can get her license...until then she can hoof it!

[isobar]

Kathy, LOL at your signature. How fast was she going?
I think community service and driving school sounds like a much better sentence than a fine.

Yeah Mary, I sometimes long for the diaper days too. TEENAGERS ... yikes! But I wholeheartedly agree with Shawn. A big parking lot (and a new transmission) might get you through.

[deb_in_nc]

Advice from one who's been there. Let someone else do it. It's too much trouble to keep dying your hair all the time.

Debbie

[David]

Thats why I dont wanna drive..

[azskyman]

Hi Mary,

I actually taught my wife Kathy how to drive at that age...and a stick shift is what she learned on...and took the test on. And passed the test on.

I won't mention the three moving violations she got the first six months we were married (oh, sorry, didn't mean to mention it!)

Parking lots are good places. So are county roadways (when snow and ice aren't causing big problems). Mostly just patience.

..and more patience.

Kathy took Jarrod out for a lesson one time. The next day I noticed corn stalks stuck up under the frame of the body. Rather than say anything or ask questions, I just waited for them to tell me.

A couple weeks later I got the story. Too fast on a turn, through a ditch, a few rows of field corn, and then back up to the pavement.

He took his test within two weeks after that and passed.

My only advice is to take something to calm yourself down...before, during, and after the driving lessons.

Honestly...she will do fine and will catch on. Really she will.

and then you will have a whole NEW set of things to worry about.

Steve

[timNms]

Mary....I can sympathize with you. Our daughter is 17. We let her drive once in a while...mainly my wife lets her drive. I'm too CHICKEN to ride with her. On the rare times I've ridden with her, she does really well. Guess I'm just too old and nervous LOL.
Sad thing is, we can't get her to go take the test to get her learner's permit, and eventually her liscense. She wants a car, but we ain't gonna go there. I told her she'd have to have her driver's liscense AND a job FIRST so she could pay the car note and insurance....that insurance is OUTRAGEOUS on a teenager!

[CajunMama]

Mary....she was clocked going 46 in a 25!

timNms...i'm paying insurance on 2 teenagers:
daughter....$260/month
son.....$443/month (1 accident & lost his good student discount by .18 of a grade)

But we also have the highest limits on liability because we have an umbrella policy since we are self employed. Plus we live in such a "sue" happy state.

My insurance on my convertible....$118/month

[streetsoldier]

coppertop will only drive after...

a) Taking driver's education (better from professionals than nervous parents!)

b) Getting a summer, or part-time job to buy his own car, and

c) Pay for his own insurance.

He knows this.

[Miss Mary]

Thanks everyone for your advice and similar horror stories too!!! Steve, LOL at the corn stalks....OMG, that is so funny. But sadly, reality huh? Nina did a very similar thing too, but thankfully no damage to a business. She got stuck between 2nd and 3rd, said she couldn't get it into gear, she was revving the gas and I just wanted her to stop and pull over. Well, she pulled over, but a few feet up into the grass. Near the curb was a light pole for this business' sign. She came within an inch of it. Scared her to death. Damage to my car? She took my side view mirror off. That gets put back on tomorrow. She's paying for it. And she knows she paying for insurance, when she does finally get her license. Our ins. co. told us it's about $900 a year. She knows there's no way she can have a car, she'd have to pay for it and she doesn't have the money. Then of course we explained the upkeep bills, that again set her straight. She'd much rather master driving, get the license and pay for the insurance only. No free ride here either Bill. She had summer job at a local amusement park (our old Kings Island). She was hoping to make a lot of money, working 6 days if need be. She was lucky if they gave her 2 days a week. It was very disappointing. So no real money there, it was basically spending money. Nina made more baby-sitting this summer! Tim - I'm just as nervous as you are. And boy I've been saying lots of prayers after that incident with the side view mirror. That did shake her up a lot and cajunmama, you'll be happy to know it slowed her way down. She just hates when other drivers tailgate her. I tell her hey they tailgate me all the time and I go at least 5 MPH over the speed limit. I'm no slow poke. But lately to demonstate I'm going to drive the speed limit or under, I've slowed way down too. I figure if she's not going that fast and she misjudges something again, or has trouble she can stop quick. Her sister wants to take a piece of poster board and slap it up in my hatchback window - STUDENT DRIVER!!! I'd like to add - BACK OFF, YOU MORON!!! And finally I am always pleading with her - do not flick anyone off Nina, ignore them. Oh she is tempted at times.

If I survive this phase it will be a miracle!!! I really do think it will be much easier with Laura. And now we hear any child born after 1990, will have to wait until they're either 16 or 16.5 to get their temps. I highly applaud that new law!

Thanks again everyone, we're off to an area ski resort, in Indiana. They're off school today, teacher-in-service day. Bet you didn't know IN had one huh? Well, it's small, man-made snow of course. But she wants to drive the whole way. And it's not even 9 a.m. Think I should take something to calm my nerves NOW Steve? LOL

Mary

[Lake Effect1]

lol, that sure brings back some scary memories.I taught 2 of my daughters on a stick,one would have nothing to do with it. But we would go to empty parking lots and I used boxes for them to practice parallel parking.They had 1 car to share, needless to say it was in bad shape after a year,but I never had to go to a mall or grocery store for a few years!!! Hang in there ,and remember any gray hairs from this new adventure is well earned.

[azskyman]

Both boys, by the way, did get their own car Mary...but not until they found a way to make payments. Nothing fancy...but good basic transportation.

I won't tell you "the rest of the story" until you've got a good dose of the downers in you!

Teenagers...gotta love 'em!


We just met up with some friends of ours from Illinois on Wednesday evening. Brad made sure he told the 8 of us at the table that he remembers well how Kathy, then 17, managed to run her lime green Fiat into the side of a moving freight train. Obviously, that's a story for the next chapter in your book.

[Miss Mary]

Steve - and the saga continues....LOL You'll have to share that with me, later though. Almost afraid to read about the train incident! I talked Nina out of driving yesterday, w/o that mirror it's challenging to merge onto the interstate. And it was thick with semi's and cars. I was relieved to be driving actually! Mirror is going on as I type so she did tell me - Mom, from now one no matter where I need to go, I am doing the driving. At least she wants to drive! But do I want to sit beside her? That's another story. I think I've conveyed to her I don't quite feel that comfortable with her driving skills. Which doesn't help any, she second guesses herself sometimes. Oh what a mess. She will get there I'm sure. My one niece had so many driving problems before turning 20, I posted a few of them. Once she was applying makeup and dropped her mascara. It kept rolling around on the passenger side floor. So she leaned over to get it, started to drive off the road, over corrected herself, and totaled that car. She was okay, but very shaken up. And all for makeup! Believe you me, I've told Nina that story a number of times. She keeps telling me - don't worry I won't be like Kara mom! LOL

LakeEffect1 - I'm looking forward to the day I can stay home and Nina will willingly run my errands and her sister around. I was like that, all my mom had to say was - oh we're running low on milk...and I was out the door! But did I come right back? Mmmmm, sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depending upon if a friend and I wanted to drive by a guy's house we liked......my dad would just roll his eyes at us. As if to say - Mary, all we needed was a gallon of milk!

Mary

[blizzard]

I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to drive. Right now, I am the only driver in the household and it is driving me nuts. I get off of midnights, and I just want to sleep, but guess what? There is always something I have to do transportation wise so I rarely get any good sleep then. Also with sports, baton lewssons, Girl scouts, etc. etc. But I have 3 more years to wait. Yuck!!!

[Miss Mary]

I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to drive. Right now, I am the only driver in the household and it is driving me nuts. I get off of midnights, and I just want to sleep, but guess what? There is always something I have to do transportation wise so I rarely get any good sleep then. Also with sports, baton lewssons, Girl scouts, etc. etc. But I have 3 more years to wait. Yuck!!!

Blizzard - oh I hear you!!! It wears me out too. And what I miss are big blocks of time at home so you can accomplish something. There have been weekend days that I've been in and out so much, it's just crazy! But in this case, I'm a little worried when my daughter get's that license....and since she'd have to borrow my car, then I'd be stuck home. Wait, maybe that wouldn't be so bad!!! I seemed to get way more done around here when they were little, they were so happy to just play all day long back then.....those days are long over here.

I also long for snowdays, since most activities cancel then. Hasn't happened in a while though.

Mary

[DaylilyDawn]

Miss Mary you don't want to know my story of my great-granfather and great aunt's meeting with a train , or my hubby's version of his mother's incident with a stopped phophate train, Neither outcome was pretty.