Church Football

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hurricanedude
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Church Football

#1 Postby hurricanedude » Sun Feb 08, 2004 6:06 pm

CHURCH FOOTBALL

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the
invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many
choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do
anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water
fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should
be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is
almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on
last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the
congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any
guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during
the sermon to affect your life.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.
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timNms
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#2 Postby timNms » Sun Feb 08, 2004 11:08 pm

Good one, Dude!
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therock1811
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#3 Postby therock1811 » Mon Feb 09, 2004 4:08 pm

Nuff said...good one! I have never pulled an End Run...I speak to a few ppl b4 leaving...now the Two-minute warning...that's another story LOL!
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mf_dolphin
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#4 Postby mf_dolphin » Mon Feb 09, 2004 4:15 pm

Guilty as charged :-)
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Josephine96

#5 Postby Josephine96 » Mon Feb 09, 2004 10:31 pm

Guilty as charged here too.. That was cute however.. I liked that...
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JCT777
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#6 Postby JCT777 » Tue Feb 10, 2004 10:44 am

LOL dude! I confess to having been part of the blitz. Just this past Sunday my wife and I went to a restaurant immediately after church. :lol:
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GalvestonDuck
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Re: Church Football

#7 Postby GalvestonDuck » Tue Feb 10, 2004 10:57 am

hurricanedude wrote: Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the
invitation.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is
almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.


ROFL! That's right after communion for some at a Catholic mass. I don't get it. There are only a couple of minutes left...why can't they wait? As soon as they walk away from receiving, they walk right on to the back and out the door.
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