How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

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JTD
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How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

#1 Postby JTD » Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:18 pm

How would you feel if you found out that your son or daughter was gay or lesbian? I encourage young people to answer too and we can compare the attitudes that young people (I'm 20) have compared to older people.

I wouldn't care. If my son/daughter met someone that they were in love with and wanted to spend the rest of their life with who happened to be of the same sex, I would be as ecstatic as if they were actually marrying the opposite sex. As for grandchildren....hey they can always adopt.

I would worry about the reaction from others but I certainly wouldn't break of all contact with them or anything.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, says that she'd be devastated. I can't see why.
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Re: How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

#2 Postby Stormsfury » Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:23 pm

jason0509 wrote:How would you feel if you found out that your son or daughter was gay or lesbian? I encourage young people to answer too and we can compare the attitudes that young people (I'm 20) have compared to older people.

I wouldn't care. If my son/daughter met someone that they were in love with and wanted to spend the rest of their life with who happened to be of the same sex, I would be as ecstatic as if they were actually marrying the opposite sex. As for grandchildren....hey they can always adopt.

I would worry about the reaction from others but I certainly wouldn't break of all contact with them or anything.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, says that she'd be devastated. I can't see why.


Very tough question. But I would clearly support my son's/daughter's decision because IMHO, it's not my right to choose whom my (future) sibling's choice would be in a lifelong love, whether straight or gay.

Jason, you're a rare breed ... as many parents/people that I know would immediate disown their siblings (family members).
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Rainband

#3 Postby Rainband » Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:27 pm

Thank God for the rare breeds :)
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Re: How would you feel if your son/daughter was gay?

#4 Postby JTD » Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:27 pm

Stormsfury wrote:
jason0509 wrote:

Jason, you're a rare breed ... as many parents/people that I know would immediate disown their siblings (family members).


Stormsfury, if they really loved their family members, wouldn't it just be impossible to disown them. That's distressing what you said, Stormsfury and that goes into my theory that what most people only care about is their own happiness. I hope I'm wrong on that theory.

If the love could vanish that quickly, was it ever really there?
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#5 Postby JQ Public » Wed Feb 11, 2004 6:38 pm

I'm 21. I would definitly support my child. I wouldn't/couldn't cause the amount of hurt that my child would experience by disowning them. Its not a tough decision to me to support my child.
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#6 Postby mf_dolphin » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:08 pm

Well I'm 47 and family is always family in my book. You don't have to like everything they do or decision they make to love them :-)
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#7 Postby timNms » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:30 pm

Dang, mf_dolphin...you are OLD man! j/k I'll be 42 on the 18th.

If one of my kids told me that they were gay, I'd still love and support them. It's like mf said, "You don't have to like everything they do or decision they make to love them".
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#8 Postby BEER980 » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:32 pm

jason0509
As for grandchildren....hey they can always adopt.


Actually a gay couple can not adopt.
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#9 Postby Stephanie » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:53 pm

I'm 41, and if I had a child and he/she told me they were gay I would be supportive of them. I want them to be happy.
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#10 Postby Anonymous » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:58 pm

I'm far from having a child of my own, but I can say with near certainty than if I do for some reason have a child who is gay, I'll be completely supportive and have no problem with it. Who am I to look down on someone for having a different chemical makeup than myself?
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#11 Postby Rainband » Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:20 pm

brettjrob wrote:I'm far from having a child of my own, but I can say with near certainty than if I do for some reason have a child who is gay, I'll be completely supportive and have no problem with it. Who am I to look down on someone for having a different chemical makeup than myself?
That was an Excellent Post. :)
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#12 Postby blizzard » Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:25 pm

BEER980 wrote:jason0509
As for grandchildren....hey they can always adopt.


Actually a gay couple can not adopt.


They can adopt. Rosie O'Donnel has adopted a couple of kids if my memory serves me correctly.
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#13 Postby streetsoldier » Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:30 pm

I have a MUCH loved niece who happens to be gay...and I wouldn't EVER disown her. She is in a happy, monogamous relationship, drug- and disease-free, so I needn't worry about her health being threatened. I do have concerns about people who would attack her bodily or otherwise :grrr: , but as far as I know that hasn't yet come to pass.

She is a substitute teacher in a large metro school district, and from all indications is doing well.

As to my stepchildren and son, they are all heterosexual, thank you very much.

"Nuff said.
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gay

#14 Postby sunnyday » Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:47 pm

I love my kids unconditionally. My love will be contstant, no matter what.
I don't understand how a parent could disown a kid for any reason.
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Re: gay

#15 Postby hunter84 » Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:58 pm

sunnyday wrote:I love my kids unconditionally. My love will be contstant, no matter what.
I don't understand how a parent could disown a kid for any reason.

My same feeling Sunnyday
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#16 Postby BEER980 » Wed Feb 11, 2004 9:15 pm

blizzard Gay adoption is not allowed in Florida and would guess in most of the states that ban gay marriage as well.
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#17 Postby JTD » Wed Feb 11, 2004 9:19 pm

Do you guys think that maybe the situation where parents do disown their children is like this: They're probably already drug addicts or alcoholics or abusers and disowning the child for being gay is just an extension of their already significant mental problems?

I hope that's the only case where people are disowned.

And you guys have proved yet again that Storm2K is full of some of the most generous and caring people in the world. :D
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#18 Postby JQ Public » Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:10 pm

I don't know if its true everywhere, but i went to a judy shephard (mother of murdered Matthew Shephard) speech at school last week and basically many of the kids around here were disowned by their parents for religious reason. I'm not saying all people think that way, but we are in the bible belt...
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#19 Postby azskyman » Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:41 pm

Over the years I have been lucky enough to have some gay and lesbian friends in my life. Not surprising, they have been among the most loyal and truthful people Kathy and I have ever known. I count on THEM for support many times when I need it. And they ALWAYS come through.

My sons are both heterosexual, and I'm glad that they are. But had their sexual orientation been different, I would have probably asked myself "why," as if I might have done something wrong. But no more than I do when I confront other aspects of their personalities and beings that don't always make sense to me.

Never, though, would the question of love and support have been part of the equation. They would never have to ask if my love was compromised because they know it would not be.

I suspect that those who would disown their own children simply struggle with their own identity and place in life. Hate and anger is easier to deal with than love, appreciation, and mutual respect.

Finding your place in this world is a tough tough assignment. We all want to make a difference, have real friends, be successful and beautiful, and have all the tools that make us important.

In the end, what makes us important is not our sexuality or opinions, but instead how well we can relate to others....bring the best out in them, no matter who they are.

Without ever expecting a single thing in return.

I would just want my sons to be good people, unselfish people, regardless of their orientation.
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#20 Postby Stormsfury » Thu Feb 12, 2004 1:37 am

jason0509 wrote:Do you guys think that maybe the situation where parents do disown their children is like this: They're probably already drug addicts or alcoholics or abusers and disowning the child for being gay is just an extension of their already significant mental problems?

I hope that's the only case where people are disowned.

And you guys have proved yet again that Storm2K is full of some of the most generous and caring people in the world. :D


It's based on many things, jason, but IMHO, not the reasons you cited above ... and it really depends on the upbringing of the persons involved ... either way, with the countless people that I come in contact with, I've seen and heard a LOT of things, and frankly, I disagree with many of those views ...

Particularly in the Southeast, this is the Bible Belt, and there are many that are old-fashioned Southern Baptist views...although, my father's/stepmother's church is more with the times, but many aren't ...

It also can boil down to some people being very close-minded ...

SF
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