When the phone rings

#1 Postby **janswizard** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 6:52 am

in the middle of the night, it's usually bad news. So when the phone rang sometime around 3am this morning, I knew something had to have happened to someone I know. However, the phone is next to my mother's bed and she was in such a sound sleep, the party had hung up before she found it.

It rang again at 5:15 this morning. This time my mother got it on the second ring. It was the hospital advising her that her sister, who is in a nursing home because of advanced stages of Alzheimers, has developed a blood clot in her arm. The prognosis isn't good. They wanted my mother's decision on what to do since she has the power of attorney.

My mother's sister will be 79 in a couple of weeks. Because of the Alzheimer's and other health related problems, my mother and her other sisters had decided beforehand that they would sign a do not rescusitate (sp) order. Aunt Terry's quality of life plain out sucks - Alzheimer's is such a miserable disease. The hospital told my mother this morning that to do nothing will definately kill her. They said they can administer drugs with the hope that it breaks down the blood clot; however, what they really suggest is that the arm be amputated.

Mom told them to go ahead and try the drugs to see if it will help. Taking her arm will severely restrict the small amount of independance that my aunt enjoys. In the meantime, my mother is on her way to the hospital now to see her sister; it may be the last time she is able to see her. She knows that my aunt has been heavily sedated; the doctors don't want my aunt moving around at all so that the blood clot doesn't start to travel.

Please say a prayer.

azsnowman · #2 Postby **azsnowman** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:31 am

I am so sorry to hear this news......having just gone thru something similiar myself, I know it's TOUGH! Rest assured, I've got you and your family covered in prayer!

Dennis

#3 Postby **wx247** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:51 am

I am so sorry to hear that. You got it. The prayers are coming even as we speak.

#4 Postby **azskyman** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:58 am

Consider prayer on the way.

Independence and quality of life become big issues as we get older. It is sad and difficult to have to make decisions such as these.

An extended family member of ours went through amputation of his entire leg 10 days ago for similar reasons. It is a decision no one wants to make, but then too, so is the decision to do only the medication.

I hope all goes as well as can be and that your aunt can retain some dignity in spite of the ordeal.

Suzi Q · #5 Postby **Suzi Q** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:58 am

Alzheimer's is a horrible, insidious disease that sucks the life out of the person that has it, as well as their family. My aunt, diagnosed 5 years ago, turned 80 this year and spends the majority of her time screaming. I agree with your family to not go to any heroic measures to extend her life, which, in my head is not living at all. That being said, it is a terribly difficult time for you and yours and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted and don't hesitate to contact one of us should you need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen. Hugs and warm feelings are sent your way.

petal*pusher · #6 Postby **petal*pusher** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:19 am

Janswizard.....you have MY shoulder also. My mother was diagnosed almost 5 years with Alzhiemers. This IS a horrific disease!! Any change.....be it location, sickness, or caretaker can accelerate the progression of this disease!

Give your Mom a hug.....she needs it right now!.......p :wink:

#7 Postby **Stephanie** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:34 am

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt Jans. You are all in my prayers!

#8 Postby **janswizard** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:37 am

Thank you, all, for the well wishes and support. Just a quick update before I leave for work.

Mom is back from the hospital. The blood clot in just above the elbow on my aunt's left hand (she's right handed). Mom said that from the elbow down to the tips of the fingers, the arm is "dead". There hasn't been any blood flow; the arm is ice cold and as white as can be.

The hospital is still trying the drugs for now but still think the only hope is amputation. However, they doubt my aunt is strong enough to survive the surgery.

As I said, my mother is home now and she has called three of her sisters up north who are strong enough to digest this news (they are all elderly). Two of them said to let the hospital do whatever is necessary to keep her comfortable; the other is under the mind that they should just let her go to God. I can't blame that aunt for feeling that way; it's how I feel as well. I would imagine the shock of waking up and finding your arm missing on top of all the other ailments that she has will be too much for her. I'm thankful it's not my decision to make and I hope I[m never put in a position where I would have to make a decision like it.

In the meantime, my mom is a holding up well considering the circumstances. It's amazing to me that she continues to find strength when every day she seems to be tested.

#9 Postby **Stephanie** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 11:27 am

It is amazing how people do find the strength to keep going from day to day when they are under alot of stress and anxiety. I think that when the stress has to do with someone you love, it is easier to dig deep and be strong for them.

Colin · #10 Postby **Colin** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 11:50 am

I'm very sorry to hear about this!

My thoughts and prayers are with your aunt...I hope things work out for the best...and, NEVER give up.

#11 Postby **george_r_1961** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 12:30 pm

I had an uncle that died from Alzheimers and he spent his last months not knowing ANYONE..not a way to live if you want to call that living.

Lindaloo · #12 Postby **Lindaloo** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 12:49 pm

So sorry to hear about this jans. You and your family are in my prayers. I understand about the "code 4." Had to go through that myself. Keep us posted!!

ColdFront77 · #13 Postby **ColdFront77** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 6:13 pm

Jan, I am sorry to hear about your aunt, as well.

One of my aunt's (one of my mother's sisters) has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease. Her husband passed way on Tuesday, December 3rd of cancer of the liver, I believe. He drove, she doesn't and she is quite the "homebody," refusing to do this or that. In the coming months/years some family members are going to have to put their foot down with her living arrangements, etc.

#14 Postby **DaylilyDawn** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 6:45 pm

Prayers are going out right now for your aunt.

#15 Postby **vbhoutex** » Sun Feb 29, 2004 12:59 am

Prayers flowing right now from W. Houston for everyone in the family. I have seen the terrible toll of Alzheimers first hand, though thankfully not in my own family. I pray for God's hand in all the decisions that must be made.

#16 Postby **janswizard** » Sun Feb 29, 2004 7:30 am

What a day yesterday was. I was supposed to work a noon to 6pm overtime slot but I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate worrying about my mother so I begged off my hours and came home instead.

So I actually got home within an hour of leaving for work. My mother must have gone to the hospital as soon as I left because she was just coming in when I pulled in the driveway.

While at the hospital, the doctor told her that the drugs weren't working and they didn't think my aunt would survive the surgery. He told my mother that he can't tell her what to do but if it was his mother or sister, he would just send her back to the nursing home and let hospice come in and take care of her until the end. He said that medication could keep her as comfortable as possible until it was over.

Needless to say, Mom was shaken and based on what the doctor had just said, she decided to have her sent back to the nursing home to die. She started making phone calls again to her remaining sisters up north letting them know that it was just about over. Then the phone rang and it was another doctor who asked permission to try to remove the blood clot. He couldn't promise good results but said it was worth a try and certainly couldn't hurt.

So yesterday afternoon, my Aunt had surgery to remove the clot. It was removed successfully, without having to take her arm, and she will be in the ICU for 3 or 4 days now. We were able to see her within minutes of surgery while she was in the recovery room and her vitals were strong.

We did get a call last night at midnight from a nurse on the ICU floor. My aunt is not a good patient; because of the Alzheimers, she doesn't understand what has happened and she insisted on removing the tubes, drains and instruments that have been attached to her. She also refuses to stay in bed. They were notifying us that they are going to have to restrain her to the bed and place mitts (similar to boxing gloves) on her hands so that she can't keep removing all that stuff. Each time she has been in the hospital for the last year, the same things were done to her. Again, it's the Alzheimer's that makes her uncooperative and mean as hell. Howver, all the fighting that she's doing effects her heart (congestive heart failure) and her breathing and they wanted to make sure that my mother wants to continue the DNR order that is outstanding.

The phone didn't ring again during the night; I'm hoping that the nurses survived the night and that my aunt quieted down. Thank you all for your prayers. I firmly believe the power of prayer is what got her through the surgery yesterday.

azsnowman · #17 Postby **azsnowman** » Sun Feb 29, 2004 7:35 am

Yes indeed, the POWER of prayer is MIGHTY! It's a tough situation I know.......there's an old sayin' we use here at the house, "Let Go and Let God Go!"

Dennis

When the phone rings

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