Let's see (not in any particular order)...
(1) Have Annabelle (she be a ho'), apricot toy poodle
(2) Detest NASCAR and WWF
(3) Drink Tabasco Green, won two Greek Interfraternity contests without a SIP of water doing it
(4) Have my share of inpure thoughts, but the objects thereof are TWC's Hillary Andrews (!) and FoxNews' Kiran Chetry

...can't STAND either KA or Alexandra Steele.
(5) No stocks or bonds, thank you very much
(6) My church comes to ME every Sunday (disabled, the pastor brings Communion)
(7) Curse like a longshoreman, but save that for those who REALLY need to hear it
(8) Drive a 2000 Chevy Cavalier, and do not waste my time running over liberals (they usually do a good job of causing their own self-destruction; they need no assistance from me)
(9) Any questions?