For the Men

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chadtm80

For the Men

#1 Postby chadtm80 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:19 pm

Alright guys, the Men bashing has begain, so its time to show them up :lol: :lol: :lol:

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES



Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?

A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.



Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

A. When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."



Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?

A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A. A woman that won't do what she's told.



I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.



I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.



Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

A. Divorced.



Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake.



Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.



Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" And I said, "Mostly, dust!"



In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Q. Why do men die before their wives?

A. You have to be kidding me right?
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#2 Postby Guest » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:31 pm

LMAO! That is a very good one Chad!!!!!!:lol:
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weatherlover427

#3 Postby weatherlover427 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:40 pm

ROTFL! :lol:

Goooooooo Men! :D
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Lindaloo
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#4 Postby Lindaloo » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:44 pm

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#5 Postby Lindaloo » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:51 pm

Image
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weatherlover427

#6 Postby weatherlover427 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:51 pm

That site has spyware up the arse...

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#7 Postby Lindaloo » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:58 pm

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#8 Postby Anonymous » Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:13 pm

LMAO Chad -- some of those are classics!
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chadtm80

#9 Postby chadtm80 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:34 pm

Chadtm80: Marshall u wanna hear a joke
mfdolphin: sure
Chadtm80: Womens Rights
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#10 Postby coriolis » Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:35 pm

GO MEN!
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This space for rent.

chadtm80

#11 Postby chadtm80 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:36 pm

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night.

So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.

The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.

He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I am married to your sister!'''
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#12 Postby Lindaloo » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:06 pm

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.
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weatherlover427

#13 Postby weatherlover427 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:10 pm

Lindaloo wrote:THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HISSSSSSSSSSSS Thumbs down! :P
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#14 Postby Lindaloo » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:10 pm

LOL Josh.
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#15 Postby senorpepr » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:17 pm

LOL... nice :D
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weatherlover427

#16 Postby weatherlover427 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:34 pm

OK you are really asking for it now Linda. GRRRRRRRRRRRR HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!
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weatherlover427

#17 Postby weatherlover427 » Sun Apr 11, 2004 11:36 pm

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#18 Postby vbhoutex » Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:05 am

:notworthy: :clap: :team: BRAVO!!!!! BRAVO!!! GO JOSH!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!! :team: :clap: :notworthy:
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#19 Postby Lindaloo » Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:21 am

Joshua21Young wrote:OK you are really asking for it now Linda. GRRRRRRRRRRRR HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!


That was not a roar. That was a meow. **yawns** :lol: :lol: :lol:
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weatherlover427

#20 Postby weatherlover427 » Mon Apr 12, 2004 2:41 am

*fart*

That was a roar for sure. :lol:
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