Top 13 Things PMS Stands For!
13. Psychotic Mood Shift
12. Pack My Stuff
11. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
10. Perpetual Munching Spree
9. Puffy Mid-Section
8. People Make Me Sick
7. Provide Me with Sweets
6. Pardon My Sobbing
5. Pimples May Surface
4. Pass My Sweatpants
3. Pissy Mood Syndrome
2. Plainly Men Suck
1. Pass My Shotgun
For the Men
Moderator: S2k Moderators
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weatherlover427
-
weatherlover427
Why It's Good To Be a Man!
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Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky".
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can kill your own food.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
All in All...It's GREAT Being a Man!!
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Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky".
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can kill your own food.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
All in All...It's GREAT Being a Man!!
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southerngale
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 27418
- Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:27 am
- Location: Southeast Texas (Beaumont area)
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot has been spotted several times.
When would you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot has been spotted several times.
When would you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
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GalvestonDuck
- Category 5
- Posts: 15941
- Age: 57
- Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2002 8:11 am
- Location: Galveston, oh Galveston (And yeah, it's a barrier island. Wanna make something of it?)
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